View Full Version : Physical intimacy is not possible with my mate
My other half takes meds for circulation and a small heart difficulty. He was very open at his last visit and the doc gave him some pills to help with erectile dysfunction. He's being monitored. The thing is, he can take the pills; but if he does, he runs the risk of having a massive heart attack. Or, he can do what he is doing now...We kiss and cuddle and love a little and that's pretty much it. My question is what can I do with the huge amount of my sexual energy and frustration when it builds up? I've bent 2 vibrators and the orgasms take the edge off, but I still end up feeling empty. I try to do it when he's not home, so he won't feel inadequate. He just doesn't have the stamina any more and tires easily. I'm not being stingy or self-centered, but need to find a way to release this. I can usually go for a couple of months by keeping myself very busy, but then I start to get "uptight". I don't usually post anything like this here, but am hoping for some pointers or direction. Thank you.
rzande1
10-12-2006, 09:22 PM
Well you could always see if he is open to having another guy in the relationship. Or better yet every try having him use the toys on you or doing it infront of him as "a tease"
rzande1...Another person is not an option and he just tires to easily. But thank you for the suggestion.
Oldfart
10-13-2006, 04:20 AM
Mae,
Inclusion is vital for both of you, whether it's just rubbing your feet or aggressive holding your hand and helping with the vibrator.
It's a condition you have ultimate power over, so do something, for both of your sakes.
wyndhy
10-13-2006, 07:47 AM
without him able to participate or handle teasing, i can't see another option besides what you already do, unless you want to take something that will lower your own libido. perhaps someone wiser than i will have a much better suggestion.
speaking of teasing...why would the doctor give him something that could cause a heart attack? seems counterintuitive to the hippocratic oath and, well, cruel--“here’s a pill that will enhance your life but if you take it, you could die.”
if i may ask, how does he feel about it?
osuche
10-13-2006, 10:12 AM
Could he take half of a pill? ;)
Seriously...you need to engage him in a pit of play -- otherwise you're just hurting his heart and yours.
Good luck!
flutelady
10-13-2006, 10:39 AM
A loving relationship and satisfying sex life can come in many forms. I understand that he tires easily and doesn't have much stamina, but if what you ask of him doesn't take alot of energy on his part, maybe he would be more willing. I think it would do him worlds of good to be able to please you, and to be a part of your sexual satisfaction.
If you were to use a dildo while he fingered your clit and sucked your nipple (something I love, BTW!), it wouldn't require much from him and you'd be a happy camper. What if you (or he) used a small bullet on your clit while he finger-fucked you (also something I love)? He could get nice and comfy and you could position yourself to make it easy for him.
Where there's a will, there's a way!
Oldfart
10-13-2006, 11:31 AM
Intelligent people who want to feel sexy will always find a way. It just takes desire.
The desire is there on both sides. I don't push him for what he can't do. I accept what he can and we go from there. Whatever happens, happens. He asked for the pills and the doc gave him the warning with them. So, he understands. The pills are still in the bottle. There are some things that you have mentioned that we may have passed by or, perhaps, put aside. Definite food for thought...and play. Thank you. :)
Oldfart
10-14-2006, 09:29 PM
BTW, did the doctor mention that there is now a procedure for removing chihuahuas from chests without gross scarring, at least physically?
Steph
10-14-2006, 09:30 PM
BTW, did the doctor mention that there is now a procedure for removing chihuahuas from chests without gross scarring, at least physically?
That's a specialist's gig
Oldfart
10-19-2006, 01:13 AM
Doggone!!
Matticus
10-25-2006, 02:47 PM
I think if the act of sex is too physically hard on him there are plenty of other ways he could get involved. We have some times where I barely move and she just kind of crawls all over me.
^basically the same advice everyone else gave :sad:
It must be very hard dealing with lack of intimacy in a relationship that is obviously so strong.
I hope things work out.
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