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osuche
10-12-2006, 05:47 PM
Create your own top 10 list here...or steal someone else's ;)

osuche
10-12-2006, 05:48 PM
Top Ten Surprises In Bob Woodward's New Book


10. Bush financed the war by selling White House china on eBay

9. Instead of pursuing Al-Qaeda, CIA agents originally pursued Al Pacino

8. President's military strategy based on reruns of "F Troop"

7. Bush's plan: To fix this mess by the end of his third term

6. Says both Bush and Clinton could have done more to prevent the new Kevin Costner film

5. Frequent use of the word "Brangelina"

4. The nude fold-out of Donald Rumsfeld

3. Iraq insurgency began when local affiliates started broadcasting "Yes, Dear"

2. Book chronicles Condoleezza's futile attempts to get laid

1. Bush lost focus on Iraq because Congressman Mark Foley wouldn't stop sending him inappropriate e-mails

osuche
10-12-2006, 05:50 PM
Top Ten Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You


10. He spent three hours interrogating your kitty

9. You turn up the thermostat and hear your supervisor scream from the air vent

8. Every morning, some guy puts a new roll of film in your fichus

7. Powerpoint presentations include photos of you flossing

6. Greets you in the elevator with, "Boy, that was some call from your urologist"

5. The "O" on your keyboard looks a lot like his eyeball

4. Keeps repeating the same phrase: "Please speak directly into my pants"

3. His screensaver is you in the men's room

2. When your wife wears a negligee, his voice comes out of the lamp asking, "Is that new?"

1. Advised you to get that mole on your ass looked at

IowaMan
05-14-2007, 05:09 PM
Top 10 Things About Having Your Wisdom Teeth Removed As An Adult


10. The extra wisdom wasn't doing me any good anyway. May as well have it removed so I can claim ignorance when I do something stupid.

9. The Tooth Fairy pays extra for long roots.

8. Whiskey & Vicodin~~ OOOH BABY!!!

7. Get to hear a million, "Oh that's going to be so painful!" stories from your friends.

6. It really isn't painful at all but you still get a prescription for that Vicodin.

5. Yogurt, pudding and ice cream, OH MY!!!!

4. The nurse explains to you that you have to "Swish but not spit," and it's sort of a turn on to hear her say it.

3. Fewer teeth to brush.

2. You get to sit in a dentist's chair naked. Oh wait, was I supposed to leave my clothes on? :shrug:

1. Immediately after the surgery, when your mouth and tongue are all swollen and you're drooling, you still come off as being smarter than George W. Bush.

osuche
05-15-2007, 12:21 AM
1. Immediately after the surgery, when your mouth and tongue are all swollen and you're drooling, you still come off as being smarter than George W. Bush.


:rofl:

osuche
05-15-2007, 12:24 AM
Top 10 Reasons I should Get Laid Tonight

10. I've been a good girl all day

9. See #10

8. Nothing better to do

7. I bought groceries :D

6. I donated $200 to charity today

5. It was dark, I am drunk, and I don't know what I am doing

4. I'm wearing one of my classic thongs

3. I don't have any wisdom either

2. It's better than doing vacuuming - which is what I should be doing

1. See #10

scotzoidman
05-15-2007, 10:27 AM
Top 10 Things About Having Your Wisdom Teeth Removed As An Adult

My top 4 things would be the 4 very nice pills they gave me beforehand...I wish it were legal to feel that good about everything all the time...even the sound of the wisdom tooth creaking & grinding as it was pulled seemed pretty cool at the moment...worked wonders for my self-confidence too, they brought my wife in to help me walk out to the car, I rolled out of the chair & declared, "I don' need any help!", & everybody watched in horror as (I thought) I strutted down the hall...actually I was bouncing back & forth off the walls, but did I care? Not even a little...

WildIrish
05-15-2007, 11:25 AM
Top Ten Reasons to outsource the maintenance of your Web site:

10. You need a variety of skill sets, which many cannot afford to keep up with.
9. You need to coordinate schedules to get things done.
8. Satisfaction with your web site is a moving target.
7. Ongoing training is essential.
6. Not all technical skills are equal -- or helpful.
5. Better bang for the buck.
4. Instant turn-around of changes can be achieved.
3. Avail yourself of someone else's learning curve.
2. Know the costs ahead of time.
1. Ongoing consultation is key.













Now substitute “web site” with “sex life” :p