TinTennessee
10-11-2006, 01:43 PM
Exactly two weeks ago yesterday (Tuesday) I took my mom (age 64) to the doctor for a routine visit and she was sent for a routine chest x-ray. On Wednesday she was called and informed that something showed up and she needed to return for a CT scan…(she told me a different version not wanting me to worry). On Thursday I took her back and she had her CT. At approximately 5 p.m. on Thursday she called to tell me that her doctor had called and wanted her to admit herself to the hospital that night. He explained that there was a small spot in her left lung and it was ON the main pulmonary artery. The doctor was concerned that the artery would start bleeding. Anyway, she had a bronchoscopy on Saturday morning and was released from the hospital on Sunday morning. Last Tuesday the doctor called to confirm our worst fears, the spot was cancer. He seemed more concerned with the location than the actual cancer. Yesterday she had short stay surgery to have a catheter implanted in her chest and today she had her first Chemo treatment. I’m scared to death! I may bitch and moan about my mom on occasion, her being the ultimate control freak and all lol, but we have been through hell together and I’m not ready for this. I hope that this Chemo will work, if not then other options will have to be discussed. Yes, I know I’m rambling.
Day before yesterday (Monday) my 14 year old son informs me that he thinks it’s time he went to live with his dad, he wanted to spend some time there. Now, I have a perfectly good relationship with my ex and his wife. My oldest son made the same decision at about the same age, but I never expected this. I know in my head that this is something he needs, this father figure, but my heart is totally and completely broken. My ex has never been what you might call “dad” material. I realized that shortly after my oldest son was born. He always put himself first and still does, his children were never first. He never played ball with them, he never changed a diaper, never took them to a doctor appointment, never took care of them on the weekends I had to work and he didn’t (I had to find a sitter), never coached their T-ball teams, I did. He is a much, much stricter person than I am and I know my son needs this, especially at his age and with the work he ISN’T doing in school! . I feel like I have given my children up! I have so many things running through my head I don’t know what to say. My heart is in pieces, but my son comes first and I have to go on.
I just want you all to be praying, sending up positive thoughts, dancing naked under the next full moon (lol), whatever it is that works for you. I would really appreciate it.
Day before yesterday (Monday) my 14 year old son informs me that he thinks it’s time he went to live with his dad, he wanted to spend some time there. Now, I have a perfectly good relationship with my ex and his wife. My oldest son made the same decision at about the same age, but I never expected this. I know in my head that this is something he needs, this father figure, but my heart is totally and completely broken. My ex has never been what you might call “dad” material. I realized that shortly after my oldest son was born. He always put himself first and still does, his children were never first. He never played ball with them, he never changed a diaper, never took them to a doctor appointment, never took care of them on the weekends I had to work and he didn’t (I had to find a sitter), never coached their T-ball teams, I did. He is a much, much stricter person than I am and I know my son needs this, especially at his age and with the work he ISN’T doing in school! . I feel like I have given my children up! I have so many things running through my head I don’t know what to say. My heart is in pieces, but my son comes first and I have to go on.
I just want you all to be praying, sending up positive thoughts, dancing naked under the next full moon (lol), whatever it is that works for you. I would really appreciate it.