honor and pride

[wanderingsoul]

Caution; I'm about to ramble! lol

I've been watching a lot of movies lately (lost my job) that have got me thinking. Basically, I only have a couple of lifetime goals. One is to meet the woman I'm meant to be with and raise a family. Two is to fall asleep holding my son or daughter against my chest. And three is kinda complicated because I just don't know how to word it.

One fear I've always had is to never be remembered for anything important. Now I know I'm not going to cure cancer or anything like that. And even though that would be a great accomplishment, that's not what I want. I want to be remember for being a good man. Not just a good man but a great one. I want someone to be proud of me for always doing the right thing. I've always tried to see the difference between right and wrong and always tried to do the right thing. I'm only human so I have made my fair share of mistakes but to me, standing up and admitting you've made a mistake is what counts. I want to be remembered as the guy who always tried his best, stood up for what he believed, and admitted when he had been wrong.

Honor is also very important to me. One definition merriam webster gives is 'a keen sense of ethical conduct' and I think that hits the nail on the head so to speak. I've already said that I want to be known and remembered for always doing the right thing. But sometimes it's difficult to know what the right thing to do really is. I want to be able to always know what the right thing to do is and more importantly, be able to follow through and to do the right thing no matter what.

Alright, I guess I'm done rambling. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I guess I chose to tell you all this because I feel most comfortable online and this is one place I know that I won't be criticized for my beliefs. I thank all of you for giving me the freedom and sense of well being that allows me to share things like this.

[Lilith]

I want to leave a legacy that my family and friends can be proud of so I can understand your views. I agree with much of what you've said but often I find that there are a growing number of people who stand up and admit they made a mistake only to repeat the same mistake over and over. I think there is more value in actually learning from the mistake than simply admitting to it.

One of the things I would suggest is to really examine what you feel are the ills in our/ your society and then make sure that you follow your own moral compass especially when it comes to those ills.

For instance, I feel Walmart has caused an enumerable amount of problems for the economy in a variety of ways yet I find my fat ass waddling down the aisles. I don't feel good about that decision and although it may have caused an inconvenience I could have made a better more moral choice.

[Oldfart]

Lil has hit the nail on the head.

You have within you your concept of right and wrong, your "moral compass". Be aware where the artificial concepts of "Law" and "Justice" conflict with this, just so you know when doing right will get you into trouble, but stay true to yourself and fuck what the rest of the world thinks.

[scotzoidman]

I'm still fixated on the image of Lilith's ass in the Walmart aisle. Apparently prices aren't the only thing rolling back in their stores...

[WildIrish]

This is an area that I've struggled with for a long time. I want to be a good person. I want to be a good example for my children so they grow up to make good choices an be good people too.

And like my signature says..."If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." Learning from your own mistakes is good. Learning from others is so much better! Let them learn from mine.

But how do you know what is a good choice? When is enough, too much? And at what cost?

Today is a prime example. It's Columbus Day and I'm here at the office. Our company does not have this day off, but I could've taken a personal day to spend it with my family. Truthfully, I won't miss much work for very few are in today. To compound things, I have a Habitat meeting tonight. I feel good about the work I do with Habitat, but today that good comes at the expense of not seeing my children but for five minutes this morning. What kind of example is that? Will they remember that I do what I can for those with so much less...or that I wasn't home with them?

But we'll get together then, son. You know we'll have a good time then.

[osuche]

I think it's dangerous to mix the terms honor and pride. Sometimes my pride gets in the way of doing honorable things -- but I tend to think that doing the "right" thing has rewards...even if your pride takes a blow.

I don't have kids yet, so I don't feel pressure on that front. But I *do* try to be an example to my direct reports and co-workers. I sometimes am an example in my MBA group as well, but I think some view me as an "evil genius" at school.

For me, being honorable first means to do no harm. I try not to hurt others and to live my life in the best way possible. Secondarily, I try to help others as much as possible -- by giving money and time to the right causes, by caring for friends and family, and by trying to make the world a better place.

IMO, honor is but a concept until you put your good thoughts into powerful actions!

[CuteCoupleOz]

This is all a great mix for what you seek, but don't forget a healthy dose of humility goes a long way. Do what you know to be the right thing. Don't overanalyze, just follow your heart. Conscience can be a great leader. You're a young man and it'll take time but I'm sure just having such a strong desire will ensure your success.