Coming out of a relationship

[fatbeer]

I just ended a 3 and a half year relationship, and have no clue what my next step is. I expect sex on a first date, but know it won't happen, I expect a great friendship after one date, but know that won't happen either. I'm working hard to get my friendship with my ex to work, but obviusly she needs time. A few weeks ago this felt like freedom, right now it feels like hell. I hate masturbation, I hate Saturday nights alone.

I guess given this is pixies the best question I could ask is how can I make sure to get sex on the first date while at the same time build towards a friendship?

[Lilith]

Hire someone.

[fatbeer]

Thats certinatly an option, but I'm looking for something more. I want some meaningful meaningless sex.

[jennaflower]

Good Luck on your search fatbeer... just be patient.... and be yourself... and at some point.. your path will merge with someone who you will be attracted to..

[Loulabelle]

Wow, sounds like you've got a lot of issues to work through before you even think about mixing your shit up with anyone else's.

You've just ended a long term relationship, what's your hurry to ahve sex with someone else? Do you really think that's going to be fair on the person you end up dating? And what's with 'expecting sex on the first date'.....going into any kind of relationship with any kind of expectations is a BAD idea, but to make those expectations sexual is pure folly.

You wouldn't wake up one morning and decide to run a marathon before getting your body into the appropriate condition first, so don't rush into a relationship/dating until your emotional fitness level is at a point where you can do so without yourself or others getting hurt.

[Steph]

I want some meaningful meaningless sex.

I don't think it's going to be too easy to accomplish. I don't know if it exists. I certainly wouldn't be too interested in someone who was taking be out because "masturbation is boring".

Hire someone like Lil suggests? Get a blow-up doll?

If you don't approach this with a respectful manner, it's bound to backfire.

[Oldfart]

Make up your mind, fatbeer.

You want the comfort of a sexual relationship without the rest of the baggage.

It's like being a millionaire without the money, it's just impossible.

If you want the fun, you must put a little of yourself on the line.

[fatbeer]

Looks like I found what I'm looking for... and suddenly the idea is much less appealing. Oh well we'll hang out fuck and see where it takes us.

[Steph]

It sounds crude to me.

Do you respect her/yourself?

[fatbeer]

Yeah that was just a waste of time, got a blow job out of the deal but there was nothing satisfying about it. Note to self sex is only good if there is emotion attached.

[WildIrish]

So...

cumming out of a relationship isn't rewarding?

[Oldfart]

fatbeer

You're not 17 any more, sex should be more than a complicated form of masturbation and you've

years to work out how much of you you're willing to hold up "in the line of fire".

How much is a healthy sex life worth to you?

[fatbeer]

fatbeer

How much is a healthy sex life worth to you?

About $50

[wyndhy]

i don't think that can buy what you say you're looking for.

[Oldfart]

'Course he can, wyndhy.

fatbeer's expectations are so low that he could come out of it with serious change.

You said "given this is pixies" that we should have an instant remedy that wouldn't interfere with your self absorption, sorry, wrong question.

We mainly have a firm handle (sorry PF) on our sexuality, real world and here in Carnalspace. Real world takes a serious emotional investment, here takes an ability to laugh at yourself and a desire to share the whimsical part of yourself with your fellow pixies for the pleasure of all.

It's not a rant, I think.