Fear

[imaginewithme]

I don't know if it's "motherly instinct" I have now or what, but I seem to have so many fears lately and they seem to control a lot I do or don't do too. It's really bothering me.

For instance, I don't know how or when it started but if it's raining outside, I am completely terrified of driving in it. If I see on the news one night that it'll rain the next day, forget all my plans, I'm not going!

I have a very safe and secure home/neighborhood and a husband that makes me feel very protected. I shouldn't feel the way I do at all.

What do you do to get over or get thru something you're afraid of?

/rereading this I'm now afraid someone will think I'm nuts!!!! :hair:

[PantyFanatic]

I have some questions about your apprehension of 'rain' that I'll aske when I get back. ;)

[Lilith]

IWM,
I have had family and friends who after having children experienced this "fear" problem. Two of them practically never left the house and it was actually a serious problem for one of them (could not walk to the mailbox with a sleeping baby in her crib). You will come to a place where you realize the experiences you offer her outweigh the risks you take in doing so. We want to protect them from the world but showing them the world, and all that entails, is the best part of our privilege in raising children.

[lizzardbits]

Great advice Lil! I, too have/had similar fears. I know that parenting is not for the parents, but the children, and I have learned to letting it be about them. I would love to homeschool so I can shelter them from teasing and bullying, but I would be sheltering them from daily contacts with friends and learning how to navigate around in the real world.

The goal to parenting is to raise a healthy, independant adult, right? I cannot think of any other job that millions and millions of people work so hard at, just to work themselves out of a job.

I will share my crazy fear with ya. I *know* that it is really irrational, and I have found different, albeit strange ways of coping, because they are all over the place. My fear is called gephyrophobia, the fear of bridges. Silly isn't it? I can't stand long, tall, arched, narrow, suspension, bridges over expanses of water, or wooden country bridges. I can deal with regular interstate overpasses, and most of the time when other people are driving the afore mentioned icky bridges. I cope by holding my breath and scrunching myself into my seat. i sometimes sing to myself, and then take a deep "cleansing" breath after i make it across. I have to get over them, because I travel a lot.

Stangely, I am not afraid of flying, am not claustrophobic (although I would not be too happy if you were to put me in a small small small space), and any fear of heights is not of the height itself, but the sudden painful stop at the end of a fall.

[imaginewithme]

Thanks you guys!

My fears are even when I'm alone, not just when I have the baby with me. :( I wondered if I started having these fears when I became a mother or something that's all.

Lizz, I too hate bridges. Here in Florida one of the big bridges was ruined during Hurricane Ivan two years ago, it's still a piece of crap with construction every day and one lane and pieces of it put back together with bumper to bumper traffic. I go ALLLLL the way around thru small towns to avoid that bridge. UG I hate it! It's the feeling of being trapped on it I think.

Anyway, I have to figure out how to "deal" with this and quick before I go bonkers!!!!

[Lilith]

If it's keeping you from living your life then it may be time to speak to your Dr. about anxiety controlling medications.

[jbh3]

I'm not gonna ramble about my mental illness...but I'd have to agree with Lilith here...talk to your DR......the medications available today will change your life forever. :lurv:

[imaginewithme]

Thanks you guys! :kisser:

[Coaster]

I knew a woman that got "panic attacks" going over bridges. She talked to her Dr. and they came to a 'mental place" where she thought of other stuff while she drove over them. Thus no meds.

If it affects life as you knew it before, then professional help is needed. It must be awful to feel that way and still know it's not "normal" to feel that way!!

Good Luck and keep us in the loop!

[wyndhy]

i'd try and pinpoint when this fear began, and i'd go out and drive around my neighborhood in the rain...nothing big, a block or two...until i felt more at ease behind the wheel.

(((IWM))) fear sucks, especially when you know it's irrational. good luck, girl.

[imaginewithme]

Thank you both so much for your comments!

I've gotta get over these dumb things! And I will. I've been thru a lot worse!

[dicksbro]

IWM, just know you've got a couple of goofy Illinoisians ... well one goofy one and his wonderful wife ... who will keep you in our thoughts. Lil had great advice. I've got a son that hates bridges and I don't know why (or even if there is a real reason). I remember when he was little and we'd go across a bridge ... all the other kids wanted to look out ... he didn't. Was a long time before we realized he just very very upset looking out. He's overcame that fear and drives and everything, but he still doesn't like bridges. I'm that way looking over ledges (fear of heights) ... although if I'm in a building or plane it doesn't bother me. Out in the open ... nope ... not a favorite thing.

Sorry for the long rambling but you're not alone in feeling uneasy about situations. They're definitely not dumb! Just part of being human, I think.

You'll definitely stay in our thoughts and if you get bothered, just pretend you're in a big Pixe Hug. ;)

[imaginewithme]

Thanks so much DB!! You're awesome.

Today I was driving and ahead I saw it storming.....I was going somewhere that I didn't HAVE to go to and considered turning around....and thought of the comments here on just trying it out.... well I went on and wasn't afraid.

I must admit though, it never rained hard. But I went for it, so I felt good about it. We'll see now what happens if it does it at night......uuuuggggg I may just get a hotel wherever I am and wait it out!!!! :corn:

[LixyChick]

((((IWM))))...your hormone levels change drastically while pregnant. It may just be that you haven't regained your "normal" levels yet. As soon as you get the chance, I agree with speaking with a doc about expectations/time lines in regaining normalcy again. You might just be experiencing heightened fear from whacky hormone levels.

Did you start a new/different/higher dose of anti-preggers meds? Have you considered the hormone changes when taking birth control? Talk to your doc if this hits a nerve!

Good luck hun! At the end of the storm there is a rainbow!

[imaginewithme]

Thank you so much Lixy!!!! Means a lot that you've replied to help me out!

Baby girl is 9 months old tomorrow, I'm not on any kind of drugs at all.

I really like your last line about at the end of a storm is a rainbow. I'll have to remember that!!!!

[wyndhy]

woot! big step, IWM.

[alspals69]

Hi IWM, i guess you've just been through a storm of a different type. But i hope your rainbow is about to shine bright in the Florida skies.

Let's hope so... your gonna need to find a pot of gold for all those presents your gonna have to buy soon :)