Deja Vu

[dm383]

Some of you might remember seeing this thread of mine a couple of months ago. "Passing" Thoughts (http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?t=27833)

I want to let you all know, that an almost identical illness has struck my own family in the person of my dad.

My sister and I took him to the hospital a week ago thursday, suffering from various acutes pains and some other stuff. Aftter a load of tests and scans, we found out this thursday my dad has advanced Lung cancer, with Liver secondaries, and has only months to live.

We're still waiting to get the results of a liver biopsy back - that'll probably be on tuesday, and will tell the doctors exactly what type of cancer it is - but, as with my patient, treatment options appear to be limited, if not non-existent.

I have never been a great one for praying, I nust admit, although I find it quite ironic that since coming here (a bona-fide Porn site folks!!) I have done so with increasing frequency on others' behalf. I know find myself praying that my dad has as pain-free a time as possible over the coming months, as that is about the best he can hope for. I would be greatful if you could find a second or two to pray for him with me.

Thanks to some extra-special people here, too - you know who you are.

I love you

DM

[dicksbro]

For your father and for you and your family, the prayers are already a work in progress. God bless you DM and keep us informed and if there's anything we can do, just ask.

We love you you, my friend.

[maddy]

Your family is in my thoughts, DM.

[Oldfart]

dm383

There is a time to place his life in the hands of his God and pray for the efficiency of morphine.

Many terminal people won't do morphine/pethedine because they are addictive drugs.

So what?? These medicines become addictive when they are not addressing pain.

The drugs will give hime a little more dignity and clarity when he most needs them.

If you have a local palliative care unit, speak to them yesterday and get the good oil.

In my prayers.

[jseal]

... I would be greatful if you could find a second or two to pray for him with me ...
dm383,

My condolences sir, I shall do so.

[TinTennessee]

I too will be praying for your dad and your family.

[Lilith]

Sending vibes of comfort, peace, and thoughts to ease the pain, everyone's.

((hugs))

[jennaflower]

DM.. I will include him in my prayers... and you as well. (((Hugs)))

[moose]

DM my thoughts and prayers will be with your dad, yourself and family

[wyndhy]

((((hugs))))

[Salacious]

Sending love and prayers to your father and family DM.

[Neige]

((((((((dm383))))))))

[osuche]

((((((DM))))))) I am so sorry to hear about your dad! I hope you take lots of time to cherish them moments you still have with him. Perhaps you can also buy a video camera (if you don't already have one) to capture some of those moments for later.

We love you, sweetie....and wish you peace in this tough time. I don't exactly pray, but I will keep you and your dad in my thoughts. ((((((DM))))))

[jay-t]

Knee-mail is on its way DM

[imaginewithme]

Thinking and praying for all of you. Enjoy every second.

[Fangtasia]

(((((dm)))))

[sodaklostsoul]

(((((((((dm))))))))))

[Aqua]

(((((((dm)))))))
I am deeply saddened to hear this. Prayers and thoughts of healing, strength, and comfort are on their way to you and your family.

[dm383]

((((Everyone))))

Thanks to every single one of you for your words and thoughts - a cliché, I know, but it really does help to know there are people rooting for him.

I visited my dad again this afternoon - the pain is being managed with very mild analgesics just now, as it isn't too bad. Unfortunately, the staff informed me (and him!) that as he is so weak, he won't be going home for some considerable while yet; a statement that has pissed him off no end, I can tell you!

He still has his sense of humour, thankfully, and is managing to flirt with the nurses a bit - a side of him I've never seen before, and not bad for 75!

Once again, hugs to all of you.

DM

[osuche]

((((DM)))) -- glad to know his pain is minimal, and I am so sorry he can't come home yet. :(

But I guess it's a good sign that he's harassing the nurses. :D

[dm383]

Hey folks;

Went to see dad yesterday, as per normal now. My sister and I (and mum too, natch) have been "nagging" my dad to get up and about a bit more, practice using a walking frame for when he can go home. Well.....

.... I go in, nurse calls me over.

"Mr. H...." she says, "just wanted to tell you, your dad's femur is so thin it's hanging on by a thread. He has to remain flat on his back in bed, until we can transfer him to the Beatson". (specialist Cancer unit)

It seems the docs had a better look at last week's CT scan, and found the tumour hasn't just metastasised into his liver, but deep into both femurs too. So after he's had the radiotherapy to reduce the part of the tumour pressing on his spine, they then have to decide if they can do an operation to hold his leg together!

He's still "putting on the face" though....... more power to him, I say!

DM

[Lilith]

DM...it sounds as if your father must have been very strong to be so overtaken with cancer and pain. I hope he can spend what time he has left as stress and pain free as possible.

[LixyChick]

Oh (((((dm)))))...

Life just never seems fair when delt such a blow as the discovery of your father's illness...and then this latest discovery. One tends to wonder what we could have possibly done that was soooooo wrong to deserve such a pounding...one right after the other.

But, if you do believe in God and his almighty wisdom and power, you'll know in your heart that the wrath of God isn't inflicted on those who are down and out in response to our past doings. It's said that we are given only as much as we can handle. Least that's what believer's say. If it's true...your father must be of a powerful fortitude!

Cancer can be so mean and sneaky! If I had one wish at this moment...it'd be to smite all forms of cancer from the face of this earth forever! I know we all have to die eventually. I just wish we could all go gently.

Vibes of peace to your father and to his loving family!

(((((dm)))))

[dm383]

(((Lilith))) & (((Lixy)))

Lil ~ my dad is indeed a strong guy, in many ways; oft-times in the past this has caused great rifts between us - let's say, it wasn't just work that took me 300 miles away from home for 10 years! Luckily, we rebuilt the bond a few years ago, and it keeps getting stronger every day.

Lixy ~ You're totally right - life isn't fair! I came to that conclusion many years ago, and I know my dad feels the same way about things. I guess that's been proven by his attitude to the whole scenario - no ranting about "why me" or anything like that, just a calm and dignified acceptance of his situation, and a determination to get on with things.

Actually, it's my mum who's proved to be the biggest surprise in all of this - much tougher lady than I already knew her to be.............

(((Ladies)))

DM

[TinTennessee]

My thoughts and prayers are with you daily...this is never far from my mind. "hugs"

[dm383]

My thoughts and prayers are with you daily...this is never far from my mind. "hugs"

Thank you sweetie....... much appreciated.

DM

[osuche]

((((DM)))) ~~ give your mom a hug for us, too. :)

[dm383]

osuche ~ gave my mum a hug which, she said after, felt like it was by "a few hundred of you"! Could hardly tell her it was the lovely people I know from a hard-core sex site though, unfortunately!!!

Went to see my dad on saturday with cards that some kids who dicksbro's wife looks after made for him.
BTW, a HUGE thankyou to db, and Mrs db, for being their amazing selves!
He was blown away by them, as you might imagine - I mean, how many people receive Get Well cards from kids thousands of miles away, who they've never met? Awesome!!

I'm afraid that the news isn't all good though - he got the results of the biopsy he had a week or so ago on saturday, and the liver tumour isn't connected to the lung tumours as they first thought; instead, they now think it's spread from his stomach, and it's only the long-bone thinness that is resulting from the lungs. This basically means that once his radiotherapy finishes on tuesday, he'll be transferred back to the first hospital for yet more tests.

Also, he has been suffering the ill-effects we knew would be coming due to the radiotherapy, and has had to be put back on IV fluids, as he was becoming dehydrated again. This led him to become a wee bit disorientated again, so much so that he thought one of the nurses was my ex-wife and argued with her big-time, culminating in him slapping her!! (Fortunately, no harm done - he's still a strong guy!!)

Right, better get back to some relaxing perving!

See ya around guys

DM

[TinTennessee]

My heart aches for you so much!

[txgrneyes]

DM darlin,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. My only wish is that if this is "ment to be" then please make it quick and painless as possible for all you.

I know that might sound harsh but I would rather he remain strong for a short time then to watch him suffer for a long time. That is much harder on all involved.

We lost my uncle to cancer about 2 yrs ago. He had just left the doctors office and said on a high note "that he was doin good" not 10 min later my aunt is pulling the car over and my uncle was gone before EMS got there.

God will take us when he wants us...and the things we endure while on earth are those things that God has put in our life for some reason only he knows. Whether or not you beleive in him or pray every nite He is there when you need him. Lean on him, sometime he takes his time answering us but he does what is best for all concerned even though at times we might not agree.

And DM if you need a friend...lean on me. I am here for you!!!

Natalie

[dm383]

TT ~ Thanks sweetie, I do appreciate it!

txgrneyes ~ hey darlin'! thanks for all your support, both here and more privately..... you really are a terrific lady! Luv ya! ;)

DM

[LixyChick]

Are you taking care of yourself too dm? It might sound selfish but I'm worried about your strength and health too! Take good care and don't make me come over there!

*HUGS* to your mum and dad...and you and everyone involved!

(((((dm)))))

I have big shoulders if you need to lean on um!

[dm383]

Further update today. Visited my dad thursday afternoon, and managed to collar an actual Doctor!!
He told me basically everything I already knew, and confirmed some stuff I strongly suspected; i.e. he won't be receiving any more treatment, and more than likely, won't be getting home.

now, it's against my nature (usually) to say "never", and the doc didn't either.......but he also told me that contrary to what they thought before, they now know he has:- lung primary with bony metastases (not just "long" bones, but also pelvis and spine so far) PLUS, a stomach primary with liver mets. They originally thought the liver tumour was secondary to the lung ones, but they are no relation!

So, I learn all that..... he says to me,
"I know what I want for my birthday!" (June 13th)
Says I, "Oh, what's that?"
"A Laptop!!"

Special-edition Ferrari logo-ed Acer, thankyou very much!

You've gotta laugh, haven't you? I'll bloody-well see him on here yet!!! :)

DM

[osuche]

((((((dm)))))))) ~~ here's a big hug for strength for both you and your dad

[Oldfart]

My mother used to say, "God wants him and is bally going to have him."

Take some joy in the fact that you can prepare for it, not suddenly find him gone with things you never said.

[dm383]

Lixy ~ I am SO sorry I didn't see your post earlier hon..... a thousand apologies!! But... I am fine, for the moment. Course, if you really want to come over, it's not your shoulders I'd want to be leaning on!! ;)

osuche ~ I never cease to be amazed by our loving and caring Pixie family. TYVM. :)

Oldfart ~ In a lot of ways, I am taking full advantage of the situation we've found ourselves in , and so has he to a lrge extent. Sadly, and annoyingly, the images of what's to come keep invading my mind. I could do without it, but there we are. C'est la vie, huh?

DM

[LixyChick]

(((((dm)))))

No need for appologies hun. Just take care!

[dicksbro]

DM, our prayers continue and several of the kids that sent your dad the card are continuing their prayers over the summer ... certainly for your dad, but also for you and your whole family.

God bless ya!

[dm383]

DM, our prayers continue and several of the kids that sent your dad the card are continuing their prayers over the summer ... certainly for your dad, but also for you and your whole family.

God bless ya!

Y'know, he's still got the cards up on his locker that the kids sent him....... all of ours have been consigned to the inside of the locker!! :)

Thanks for the prayers db; and please, say a BIG thank you to the kids again!! (Or ask Mrs db to anyway!!)


DM

[dm383]

Hi all;

Well, dad has been in our local Marie Curie (Cancer Care) hospice for about a week and a half now, basically getting his strength back and resting some. (It's wonderfully quiet in there, compared to hospital!)

So, yesterday we had a "family meeting", which was all of us plus docs, District Nurses, physio....basically, everyone involved in his care. Short story - he will be going home 'on pass' as they call it, next monday! We (well, my sis mostly) have sorted out everything he'll need for his care at home, including the people. Despite the 'free' health care we get here, he still has to pay if he wants 24hr nursing care, which he does/will, but thankfully that isn't an issue.

So, we're now on countdown, waiting for next week. Hopefully nothing else will stand in the way as he is desperate to get home, if only for a matter of days. Not sure my mum is really ready for it though, as she's just started being, essentially, on her own! Ho hum!!

See y'all soon, and thanks for reading.

DM

[dicksbro]

DM, thank you for sharing with us. I realize this must be a difficult time for you, your family, and, of course, your dad. I'm glad we can at least be here to listen and to offer our support. We saw a couple of the kids just the other day and they asked about your dad. They really do care ... as do we. The prayers continue.

You and your family take a big hug from all of us.

[osuche]

((((((DM family)))))))


I hope your dad has a wonderful visit home. It's so hard to say goodbye in a place that has nothing to do with how you lived.

[Aqua]

((((dm))))

Thanks for the update. I'm still praying for you and your family to find peace and comfort during this time. :console:

[dm383]

db ~ dad still mentions those cards and pix every time I see him - don't think he can quite believe little kids from 4000 miles away care enough about a stranger to do something like that! I do believe they have made some difference to his outlook, even if only for a little while! Thanks to you, Mrs db and the Kids, once again! :)

osuche ~ I hope so too! The plan is for him to come home for three days to start with, and to be assessed (how I hate that word!) re further time out. If all is well pain-wise, which is the main criteria at the moment, then he stays at home until, well, you know. I think most of his goodbyes will have been done by then, though, which will set him more at ease too.

Aqua ~ Cheers mate, it means a lot. Superhero prayers have gotta be good, right?!?! :)

DM

[TinTennessee]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} and PRAYERS.....

[dm383]

I have some bad news to report tonight folks. In the early hours of this morning, 2a.m. British Summer Time of 24th June, 2006, my father pased away in the Marie Curie Hospice in Glasgow.

As you can all imagine, this was a bit of a shock to all of us. Dad didn't have a particularly good thursday night, and had been put on oxygen and nebulisers on friday morning. However, when I went to see him with my sis and mum on friday evening, he seemed to be pulling round and although not entirely "with it", he knew we were there.

We left him at about 8 p.m., thinking we'd pop back in the morning. I barely got home when the nurse phoned to say "get back here pronto". When we arrived, we were told (and could see) his breathing had deteriorated again. We sat with him for over 3 hours, and decided at well after 11p.m. that as no changes had happened, he'd be OK til this morning. My mum was utterly exhausted, so it was a no-brainer really. Come 02:10.... nurse phones, dad pased away five minutes ago. Very peaceful, and two nurses were with him as he passed.

I wish it had been me with him, as does my sister, and my mother. Such is life. As we start to make all the arrangements for his funeral service etc., I mourn the passing of a very brave and self-contained man, a man I am proud to call my father.

God bless all of you who ahve prayed for my father and my family - my sincere thanks go out to you all.

I'll see you all soon

DM

[Lilith]

When my grandfather was passing my grandmother said a mantra that brought not only peace to her but later peace to me in her passing as well, "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord."

Your father is in the arms of the healer.

Sending consolation and love across the pond to you and yours. My condolences to you on the loss of this extra-ordinary man.

[osuche]

((((((((dm))))))))) I am sorry, sweetie.

My thoughts and prayers are with you

[TinTennessee]

DM, I am so very sorry to hear of your father's passing. I have never lost a parent, but have lost a child, so I know your pain. If you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""HUGS"""""""""""""""""""""""""""''

[imaginewithme]

Wishing I had something to say to make you feel better.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Steph]

((((((((((((DM)))))))))))))))) My thoughts are with you

[PantyFanatic]

You and he could ask no more than to have this time together to his end.



:tear:

[sodaklostsoul]

I can relate DM........almost the same as my dad........((((((((((DM))))))))

[dm383]

Thank you everybody for your very kind thoughts and wishes.

I've managed to get here to share my thoughts, and even some of my emotions, with you all, and you have respoded in typical Pixie fashion - that is to say, with compassion, support and all-around-love!

This truly is a wonderful place to hang out.......
















:rockon: Pixies!!

DM

[dicksbro]

DM, God bless you and your family. Our hearts ache in sympathy with you, but we are confident in the mercy and love of God. One day, we will all be together again.

Know that you have the love of my wife and I and of the children who were praying for him.

[maddy]

what ^^^ they all said. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Aqua]

((((dm & family))))

I'm so sorry for your loss. I appreciate that you think enough of us, your Pixies family, that you have kept us informed in this trying and painful time in your life. You know we're thinking of you and sending you strength, lean on it when the grief hits hard... we're here for you.

[LixyChick]

Oh (((((dm)))))

Tears fall where words fail me! I know the loss of a parent! As much as we think we know it'll happen "someday"...that day is never welcome and is ALWAYS a surprise!

*holding you in my arms and rocking you as I tell you that in time all the mourning will be replaced with smiles and happy memories of days gone by*

I Love You Sweety! Hang in there for your Mama!

[Oldfart]

Mercifully quick.

[moose]

my sincere condolences to you and your family DM

[dm383]

Thanks everyone (again!) for your kind thoughts and words.

I seem to have been rushing about like a daftie all day, trying to get all the arrangements made. I think I've got it all done now, but who knows?!?!

It seems I phoned my sister last night, and was rambling at her a bit. Now, I admit I'd had a "few" beers, but it worries me I don't remember either phoning her or her calling me back!! :(

Hmmmmmmmm.

Anyway...... funeral/cremation is on thursday morning @ 10:30 UK time. I'll be saying goodbye to my dad then.

Right.

See ya

DM

[TinTennessee]

You know we will all be there beside you, holding your hand.

[txgrneyes]

OH Darlin, I am so sorry...my heart hurts for you.

I wish I had the words that would take your pain from you or at least the means to share the burden of it. I would love to be there to help you through this difficult time that you and your family are going through. Since that is not possible just know my thoughts are with you. A tear has falling for your father-because he is in a better place. He will not ever hurt anymore. He has gone home. One day you will see him again. You just have to be patient. Be proud of the man he was and make him happy everyday.


(and I was stressing over not getting a email from you in a couple of days)

[dm383]

Thanks for your beautiful wishes, ladies.

One of many wishes of mine (aside from still having several people, including my dad, in my life) would be to have all you lovely Pixie ladies in one place so I could (((HUG))) each and every one of you........preferably all at once!! ;)

In the absence of that.......... your words here are recompense more than I could wish for.

DM

[txgrneyes]

Thinking of you today...
(((((((HUGS)))))))))

[osuche]

((((((dm)))))))) ~~ I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you get to have a really good wake.

Remember the good times, and the wonderful man he was.