So how do you talk about new things...

[Jax]

So what is the best way to talk with your partner about trying something different in the bedroom? These things always seem like a great idea in the heat of the moment, but if she doesn't think so..then you feel pretty dumb later.

What is the right way to approach your partner with 'new ideas' the she may or may not want to try.

[WildIrish]

So much of our every day lives involve interaction with our mates. Everything from "What do you feel like for dinner?" to "can I put my thingie there?". You phrase each interaction in the way that you think your mate will be most receptive to. Mrs. WI is sexually conservative in her actions but does not balk at hearing off the wall suggestions. If she were not amenable to off the wall stuff...I wouldn't be Mr. Mrs. WI, that's for sure. I'm quite goofy. A typical conversation surrounding the introduction of a new sexual idea may sound something like this:

me: You know what I've been thinking about?

her: I can't wait.

me: When we're masturbating each other, you know how much I love to cum on your tits, right?

her: Yeah, I think I've noticed that.

me: How would you react if I came all over your left tit, cus you know that's my favorite, and then licked your nipple while I fingered you to an orgasm?

her: I don't know about that. It seems kinda gross. I don't think I'd like it, but I would probably get over it if your fingers were making my pussy feel really good.

me: I've come close to doing it in the past but chickened out at the end, but I've definately thought of it.

her: I just bet you have.

me: I think I'm kinda turned on now.

her: Go figure. I think you should think about painting and maybe you'll get turned on to paint the living room.


If Mrs. Jax wouldn't appreciate the blunt approach, maybe you could bring up the idea as a past thought. Like "that felt so good when you were fucking my face with your pussy...I could almost feel your hands grasping my hair and pushing my mouth against your clit." or "your pussy looked so good when I pulled my cock out of it and I saw my cumshot running down your lips, it was all I could do not to go down and lick you clean, but I didn't know how you'd react" . You never know, she might say "you should have". :D

Do you watch porn together once in awhile? You could comment on an interesting scene. One of my favorite lines is "Oh my...that looks like it just HAS to feel really good!".

Just a few ideas. But the key is understanding how she prefers to communicate and tailoring your conversation to that so she feels comfortable discussing it.

[Jax]

WI. Thanks for the comments. I need to think about that. It sounds like "not in the heat of the moment" maybe the right place to start.

[Oldfart]

Like anything else, you can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.

You need to pick the avenue of introduction (DVD, book or peeking thru WI's window) and

check her reaction/acceptance.

[Salacious]

I think I just said, "Honey can we try anal sex?"

[wahoo]

we often have fantasy talk in which we talk about things we probably wouldn't do - occasionally I slip something I want to try into the talk and if she gets turned on then I talk more until it seems right to say want to try it?

[nikki1979]

after reading WIs post i dunno how Mrs WI cud ever turn down anything he sugests!!!!! dear god now i need hubby to come home!!!

[Loren]

So what is the best way to talk with your partner about trying something different in the bedroom? These things always seem like a great idea in the heat of the moment, but if she doesn't think so..then you feel pretty dumb later.

What is the right way to approach your partner with 'new ideas' the she may or may not want to try.

Sexual decisions should not be made in the heat of the moment. Thus this is a bad place to introduce such things unless it's only a minor variation on something you've already done before.

[scotzoidman]

So when I brought out the DieHard battery & jumper cables, her screams were her way of trying to tell me something?

[WildIrish]

So when I brought out the DieHard battery & jumper cables, her screams were her way of trying to tell me something?


The jumper cables are for her? :confused:

[Jude30]

We used to discuss these things on long car trips. It's nonconfrontational, and there's little risk of things getting all hot and bothered, and becoming a heat of the moment type thing.

[scotzoidman]

We used to discuss these things on long car trips. It's nonconfrontational, and there's little risk of things getting all hot and bothered, and becoming a heat of the moment type thing.We did that on a trip to mountains once a couple years back...we got into our conversation so deeply, we missed a turn & didn't realize our error until we almost crossed over into North Carolina...

[rockintime]

We did that on a trip to mountains once a couple years back...we got into our conversation so deeply, we missed a turn & didn't realize our error until we almost crossed over into North Carolina...
Scotz! OMG!!!! Almost crossing over into North Carolina...now that is just TOO kinky! Thank God it didn't go that far.

[scotzoidman]

So kinky, in fact, they had put up a gate in the road to keep us out...

[jaf]

I think I just said, "Honey can we try anal sex?"
Well that was easy. :)

[rockintime]

I think I just said, "Honey can we try anal sex?"
YESSSSSSSSSS!

[kink]

We find the internet has opened up many doors, in quite a profound way, we often surf together and visit a couple of regular amatuer sites.... I think because its real...people are right there in front of you exploring all sorts of kinky things, and you can ask them questions. It takes the maybes away and shows you that people do these wild and exotic things and they survive. :D The best part is you haven't had to ask your neighbour if there husband wanted to fuck them in the arse, to find out if its normal or how it feels. :p

Hubby and I talk all the time, so things like this, these days just naturally fall into our conversation. I think its usually just opening the door to talking about your sexual needs and desires and once you've done this a couple of times....the door seems to remain open...making it much easier next discussion.

scotzoidman & Jude30 - I can so relate to the car trip talks..we have to take them when the kids interupt us at home....

[denny]

If you surf together, you can search for many varied things that open up conversations into new horizons. That was how I introduced the idea of restraints and other related hardware. Try it!