Selfish vs Non-selfish

[divot109]

We so frequently hear women accusing guys of "thinking only of themselves", sexually speaking. That their own pleasure is more important to them than the satisfaction of their female partner. So ladies, how true is this in your honest opinion. In your personal experiences, do you find that most guys are sexually selfish or not!!!

[Lilith]

In my younger days it seemed they were but to be honest I don't think it was selfishness. I think it was a lack of skill and experience. Hard to satisfy me when you are not sure how. I think confidence and maturity lead to more satisfaction for all involved. Of course the early experiences had a charm of their own, primal need.

[Oldfart]

Yes, we almost knew our elbows from our assholes back then.

That "elbow-play" was never very satisfying, I guess.

[Lilith]

Yes, we almost knew our elbows from our assholes back then.

That "elbow-play" was never very satisfying, I guess.
Obviously you didn't notice my sexy elbows last time we met :D

[jennaflower]

Based on my limited experience I would have to sadly say that the partners I have chosen in the past have been selfish... tho I don't begin to generalize that to ALL of the male population... hopefully I won't allow that to be the case the next time around...

[divot109]

I certainly hope not, Jenna. I don't wish to be arrogant, but it is always my intention to satisfy the woman I am with, and most of the women I have been with have expressed that I have..."very well!" In fact, if I even detect a hint that she has not been COMPLETELY satisfied, I cannot be fully satisfied myself. So, perhaps her satisfaction itself is a bit selfish on my part!!! It IS my policy that "women should always come (& cum) first!!!" Though a little "road head" isn't bad from time to time either!!! But she'll get hers when we get to where we are going!!!

[Oldfart]

Lilith, shock horror!!

I was referring to my young and gormless years as an apprentice Oldfart, before I blossomed into the role.

I noticed your sexy elbows as well as a cute, well-turned ankle or two, not to mention, well, I won't mention.

My heart broke at the thought that you thought that my thoughts had not thought to notice your elbows, I think.

[scotzoidman]

Ya think?

[osuche]

I think some of it is the man, and some of it is the woman...in the past, I've sometimes been shy telling him what I really wanted in terms of sex. Without being honest -- and here it requires no faking of orgasms or such -- I think it's hard for him to be able to give you what you want.

[jennaflower]

I absolutely agree with osuche... altho (as I explained in my prior post) my experience has been limited to men who have more interested in their own satisfaction, it could be that I am partly to blame... in that during these relationships I have always been hesitant when it comes to sharing my own needs and desires... Now.. please keep in mind that it has been a VERY long time since I have experienced any sexual contact with a partner... and since that time I have grown alot... and in doing so HOPE that if/when the opportunity arises that I will be more open and HONEST about my needs...

[SexKittten_18]

I've had experiences with boys being selfish in the past, unfortunately my ex was like that. I don't know whether he did it on purpose or if it was lack of experience, but a lot of the time it left me very unsatisfied and unwilling to be even remotely interested in sex. Not only that but I felt he thought some things were owed to him.

But recently, there's been a man (and I stress man) in my life who's showed me that not all men are selfish when it comes to sex and foreplay. And I owe him a lot for it =) So I think it's more inexperience that leads people to believe that men are selfish. But you know, I know a couple women who are only interested in being satisfied but not satisfying their partner.

And I agree with Osuche. I can't openly say what I want, I can try and show him, but that doesn't always work. So I think maybe that if that's the case, then it's not necessarily anyone's fault. You can't help it if you're shy about telling someone what you want during sex. And it goes for both men and women =)

[Oldfart]

Enough of my Jacques.

The themes here are centred on "selfish" and "I am totally unselfish" and seem to have left no room for us, the real people.

There are times when it is good to be selfish, and others where a more caring and sharing approach are needed. How easily me meet these both and still stay in loving relationships is an indicator of our sexual maturity.