Me (nonprudish) + parents (very prudish) = bad bad bad

[rzande1]

Ok here is my problem. My parents are old school and very prudish. I am not. This is not a good mix. So recently my mom finds some used condoms in my room. No they werent even used for sex. Just personal stuff. How do I handle this? Any ideas? Omg if they only knew that I have about 9 condoms in my backpack along with a dildo, handcuffs, and blindfold. I have been pretty ready to make up excuses. I am just getting tired of hiding it.

[Lilith]

How old are you?

[rzande1]

22. I still live at home because it saves money over living at the university dorms.

[Lilith]

Sure. Frankly though, your trash is not their business. Unless the condoms are filled with coke it should be a non-issue. You are an adult.

[rzande1]

I know. My mom is super nosy. It takes alot to hide stuff.

[Lilith]

Stop hiding. She wants to know shit, let her.

[Loulabelle]

So what did she say to you about the used condoms she found?

Did she go ape?

Or did she not say anything?

I'm guessing you'd have told us if she'd said or done something really drastic, so perhaps she's not as prudish as you think.

You didn't invent sex....your parents were at it long before you were born, and, since they're still together now you're 22, the chances are they probably still are, so finding out that their 22 year old university student son is sexually active is not going to be the biggest shock on the planet.

Are you sure it's not you who is prudish about your parents finding out that you have a sex life, and a dirty one at that?

[Casperr]

Stop hiding. She wants to know shit, let her.
Yeah - after all, what's the worst she can do? Get pissed and kick you out of the house?

Um, well, I know some parents who would.

It all depends on your parents, and what you think your Mom would do. And as with all these sorts of things, weigh up the pros and cons. Is she likely to kick you out? If so, then decide if not having to hide your 'nonprudish' side is worth it. If all she'll do is freak and hit the bottle for an evening then forgive and forget the next morning, well maybe that would be worth it.

It's pretty much your judgement call!

Good luck,
CasperTG

[WildIrish]

I would be relieved that you're practicing safe sex. It's only natural of us to not want to upset our parents, but realize that you are an adult and engaging in responsible sex is an adult activity. As long as you're going about it in a respectful and non-destructive manner...well, you aren't doing anything wrong.

[rzande1]

Well this is what my mom did. She cleaned out my garbage = goes through it to see what I have in there. Then before i send that message to all of you she said oh she didnt sleep well last night. I asked why. Then she said oh because she is worried about something and then gives me this look like because what i found.

But really it would be worse if i just left stuff out in the open. She doesnt go ape shit on me. She goes ape shit on my dad who in turn has to talk to me to make her happy. He isnt as bad but put it to you this way my mom believes that people should only have sex to have a kid and never again. That is how "conservative" she is.

[Loulabelle]

I really think you're naive to think like that about your mother. She may feel that sex is something for married couples only and may not even enjoy sex, but to say she believes sex is for conception only is more than likely a hugely inaccurate assumption.

So what did your Dad say?

[WildIrish]

You are a 22 year old man and your mother is going through your garbage looking for something you've done "wrong"? Why doesn't she trust you? If it's just the sex, then you have to tell your father that this has to stop.

[maddy]

I know my parents are slightly conservative on the sex before marriage concept - they have made all of their daughters very well aware that what we do in our own homes is our business - but there will be no pre-marital sex in their house. Now granted, they are probably even more relaxed about it now that we are all grown. At the time that I remember hearing the speech I was still in high school. My father has recently told me that he was most concerned about the elder sisters doing things and exposing the younger ones to sexual activity that perhaps we shouldn't have been seeing.

I can respect that opinion. My parents and I do not see eye-to-eye on all issues, but when I am in their domain I respect them. And I ask them to do the same when they are in mine.

[Sharni]

Well this is what my mom did. She cleaned out my garbage = goes through it to see what I have in there.
Clean out your own garbage....then she has no reason to be in your room going through your stuff

If my Dad came and spoke to me...i'd be telling him politely that i am an adult and as such am permitted to have a adult life and they greatly resent my privacy being invaded

[SexKittten_18]

No offense... but if you're that old... why should it matter what your mom thinks? And if you're so worried about her finding out, why not go somewhere else? I used to have the same problem with my mom, she'd find things in my room while she was tidying (I hate cleaning my room so sometimes she ends up doing it) and flip out about it. I've grown enough to know (I'm actually younger than you lol) that it's a part of life, and parents will have to accept that one day their children will grow up and will start having sex. Of course if my mom knew what I was planning for my birthday... she might go into cardiac arrest lol.

But anyway, she needs to deal with it. You're a grown man now. Time to act like it =)

[wyndhy]

taking the opposite track from most here...you live under their roof, then they can expect you to live by their rules. no matter how old you are or what your diiferences are.

[maddy]

I agree wyndhy ... or at least that's what was preached to me :) I'm going to test that theory in a couple of weeks though ... well on a completely different level - I'm going to try to make them eat like me!

[WildIrish]

I agree wyndhy ... or at least that's what was preached to me :) I'm going to test that theory in a couple of weeks though ... well on a completely different level - I'm going to try to make them eat like me!


:eek:


Amazing what one little word does to a sentence when you don't see it! lmfao

[maddy]

OMG!!! Now that's simply scary!

[imaginewithme]

taking the opposite track from most here...you live under their roof, then they can expect you to live by their rules. no matter how old you are or what your diiferences are.

That's how it was at my parents house