Pixies Baking Tips

[Lilith]

So my dear sweet bastard of a friend Mr. Skipthisone used to give me the worst grief over my baking follies. I just suck at it. I ALWAYS fuck it up. No matter how hard I try or how close attention I think I am paying I invariably make some miscalculation and it turns out like shit.

This years fiasco involves being very aware of the labeling of a new or new to you product. I, feeling wayyyyyyyyyyyyy overconfident, decided to take on spritz, sweet little crisp butter cookies made using a cookie press. The dough was beatuful for the first batches and the cookies seemed to be turning out ok, despite a few browned dozen. So as I made a new batch of dough I opened a bag of new flour I bought just for these delicacies that is a softer flour. Thinking that if the first batch turned out well this batch would totally rock, I mixed away. As I was throwing the new flour bag in the trash I noticed the labelling, self rising :eek: It was at that moment I knew my favorite bastard, wherever the hell he is, was laughing his damn ass off. So now I have Poofz not Spritz. :D The motto: Check twice bake once :D

Please feel free to add your helpful tips so that we may be spared our own personal embarrassment by laughing at yours :D

In these pics I paired up the Spritz with it's matching steroid enhanced cousin Poofz. :D

[lizzardbits]

Although my story is about baking, my happened about 3 Thanksgivings ago...

Thanksgiving was at my apartment for my kids and my parents, I had been cooking and preparing all day. I made my specialty, sage prochutto stuffing and from scratch pumkin pie. Since my table was small and could only hold our place settings and beverages, i set everything on what little counter space that i had and was going to serve buffet style. In order to make serving the turkey easier i deboned it and put it in the nice matching blue glass Pyrex pans that i had. I set them on the stove and went on getting the seving spoons. I smelled turky cooking a little stronger that what was just a few moments before, and realized that the burner on the stove was still on! as i reached to move the pan, the glass shattered and ALL the surrounding food was covered in glass! I just stood in the kitchen and bawled!

We ended up eating store bought chicken and side dishes that year....

(my pans are all metal now)

[Aqua]

I say you take your Poofz™, throw together some clever marketing and bright packaging (or bright marketing and clever packaging) and sell a buttload next year. :D

<announcer>Tired of the same old Spritz cookies during the holiday season? Well, we've got the cookie for you! Introducing Poofz™, from the Bitchmod Bakery©. Lighter and fluffier than run of the mill Spritz cookies, Poofz™ will make you the envy of every host after they hear their guests ask, 'Hey, who brought those Bitchen cookies?' Look for Poofz™ in your local bakery aisle or next to the bondage gear at your nearest adult novelty retailer. </announcer>

[lizzardbits]

LOL Aqua! that is perfect!

[Lilith]

OMG lizz my girlfriend did that with a pyrex dish fill with sweet potato souffle. Horrid mess. Glad no one got hurt.

Aqua... I've always wanted my own line of Bitch Scout Cookies :D

[Aqua]

Poofz are taking to the airwaves! (http://s22.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2DNJJVFD5FCUJ13QSIVAC0KAFZ)

[WildIrish]

roflmfao!!!!!

[Lilith]

Aqua...that was fabulous!!!

[Fangtasia]

Aqua you are sooooooo good *LMAO*

[osuche]

I can't bake anything either, Lil...and I gave up trying years ago. I'm the woman who can turn instant brownies into brickbats.

I'm proud of you for still TRYING to bake. :)

[lizzardbits]

Aqua that was soooo funny that i nearly woke everyone up by laffing too loudly!

the back ground music was great...bow-chi-chi-bow-bown! Sooo porno!

[wyndhy]

*snickers at lil*
:D
my tips:

if a recipe calls for a cup of coffee, it does not mean coffee from a can, it means brew some godamn coffee and use a cup of the liquid...the liquid.

read a recipe through first. if you begin by just chucking all the ingredients in a bowl, you may find that when you get to the instructions, you did it all wrong.

when a recipe calls for butter, don't melt it first to get the proper measurement ... there are neat little lines right on the side of the package for your convenience.

do not think that just because your baking powder/soda is out of date you should just double the amount. funny enough, that shit just don't work that way.

[scotzoidman]

I believe this should be attributed to comedian Killer Beez...

"The recipe said, 'cover the bottom of the pan with grease'...y'all wanna hear what the Fire Marshall had to say about that?"

[Lilith]

lmfao^^

[fredchabotnick]

Baking soda and baking powder are not, I repeat, are NOT interchangable.
There is a recipe card with my mom that has a handwritten note as a result of a waffle mishap, "If intent is to poison siblings, substitute baking soda for baking powder"

[osuche]

I made cookies yesterday and they turned out great.

Note that you can substitute apple sauce for about half of the butter in a cookie recipe. :) They turn out alittle flatter, but they're low fat.

[Steph]

Didn't osuche vow never to bake again? *whistles innocently* :)

I'm the worst baker so don't bother disappointing myself anymore.

I thought the poofy cookies looked good, too (hence why I don't bake!) :D

Unfortunately, Aqua's link had expired. :( Porn music with his booming voice? *swoon*

[BIBI]

Here's a baking tip..... :D

Not what you had in mind but take it from me....It is WONDERFUL :) Makes a great addition to brunch.


Baked French Toast Casserole W/ Praline topping

1 loaf French bread (13 to 16 ounces)
8 large eggs
2 cups half-and-half
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Dash salt
Praline Topping, recipe follows
Maple syrup
Slice French bread into 20 slices, 1-inch each. (Use any extra bread for garlic toast or bread crumbs). Arrange slices in a generously buttered 9 by 13-inch flat baking dish in 2 rows, overlapping the slices. In a large bowl, combine the eggs, half-and-half, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt and beat with a rotary beater or whisk until blended but not too bubbly. Pour mixture over the bread slices, making sure all are covered evenly with the milk-egg mixture. Spoon some of the mixture in between the slices. Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

The next day, preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Praline Topping:
1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup chopped pecans
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Spread Praline Topping evenly over the bread and bake for 40 minutes, until puffed and lightly golden. Serve with maple syrup.

[Lilith]

yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm^^^^

[osuche]

Quick Lil! Run!!! Our New Years resolutions are *already* in peril! :D :D :p

[Oldfart]

ANZAC biscuits.

Wonderful rolled oat and Golden Syrup cookies, each about a zillion calories.

A seasonal patriotic dish here in Oz.

[Lilith]

ummmm the dogs lurrrrrrrrrved the mushroom pate :p

[gekkogecko]

I think the best baking tip for Pixie's is...

...Don't bake the Pixies. Too much screaming involved.

[scotzoidman]

I think the best baking tip for Pixie's is...

...Don't bake the Pixies. Too much screaming involved.
only when ya don't gag them properly...

[Lilith]

<~~~~ taught him^^^^ everything he knows ;)

[dicksbro]

I believe this should be attributed to comedian Killer Beez...

"The recipe said, 'cover the bottom of the pan with grease'...y'all wanna hear what the Fire Marshall had to say about that?"

OMG, that's funny!

... And BIBI, your Baked French Toast Casserole W/ Praline topping sounds delicious!! Got to talk to my wife about that. :)

[wyndhy]

i forgot about this one:
if the child who is helping you make a box cake gets the cup of water needed from the dishwater in the sink instead of the tap, the cake will still taste fine. :eek:

lmao

[sodaklostsoul]

OMG wyndhy...LMAO...too funny....guess it depends on what was in the dishwater.

[maddy]

Not baking in the sense of something sweet.... but one of my most favorite things to "bake" is the boneless pork chops... on broil... with just a light seasoning of ground black pepper. They come out so incredibly juicy and flavorful.

[BIBI]

... And BIBI, your Baked French Toast Casserole W/ Praline topping sounds delicious!! Got to talk to my wife about that. :)

It is so easy to make and yet everyone loves it in my family.

[WildIrish]

do not think that just because your baking powder/soda is out of date you should just double the amount. funny enough, that shit just don't work that way.



I once added 3/4 tsp of diet coke to a chocolate fudge cake recipe because it said "soda". That makes a noticable difference. ha ha