What to do...

[SexKittten_18]

...when you can't stop saying sorry for everything...

Does anyone have any suggestions? I can't seem to stop apologizing for everything I do, even when I haven't done anything wrong! It's getting to the point where I think I'm annoying everyone around me by doing it. I don't want to do that, but I can't seem to stop. I don't want to lose my friends, which is why I think I'm doing it, but if I keep it up, I will lose them. So I guess what I'm trying to say is:

HELP!!!

PS: Does anyone know how to get rid of seasonal depression? It's kind of irritating >< Or maybe I just need to get laid... that would solve a lot of my problems I think -nods-

[maddy]

The winter blues or blahs... I've found light helps... One winter I even set a lamp on my night table to a timer same as my alarm clock... so that it was light in my room... made getting up in the morning easier. I have also used tanning booths in the winter... something about the heat and the tan that make me feel better... now I'm more worried about my skin's health though. Google it, I'm sure you will find tons of suggestions.

[SexKittten_18]

Thanks Maddy, I'll give it a shot.

[alspals69]

Well, i think i can help you on all counts....

Everytime you say sorry, decide if you really are... and if you aren't then say "not" afterwards before blowing a rasberry at them.

Perhaps more usefully, youcan buy things called "full spectrum" bulbs. These provide the same frequency of light that youget innatural daylight and apparently can relieve the symtoms of Seasonal Adjustment Disorder.

Getting laid.. ahh... just PM me for my sugestion!!

[SexKittten_18]

Uhmmm... but "Everytime you say sorry, decide if you really are... and if you aren't then say "not" afterwards before blowing a rasberry at them." may not work in some situations o.o That could just add to the problem =( but I'll take it into consideration most defintely. I just want to change so I can stop feeling so worthless to my friends all the time =) That's a good reason to change, right?

Do you know where I could find those kind of bulbs? I don't think I've ever seen them before.

Haha, alrighty. Thanks for all the help al (being lazy and not typing it all out lol)

[alspals69]

oops... sorry missed yor reply

erm... your obviously very sensible not to take too much notice of first suggestion.

Regarding the full spectrum lights... not too sure, i'd have thought youcould try a hardware, electrical or DIY store for them. I'm in England though, so not much help I'm afraid.

If i could just say.... i am sure your not worthless. It's really nice to meet someone who isn't too full of themselves. I am confident that your friends will love you for the person you are. Your growing on me already and i don't even know you!

[SexKittten_18]

Lol. I didn't mean they think I'm worthless, I know they don't. I've been told many times that I'm not. It's just something that I, and I alone, feel. And I would like to change that before I ruin anything. Trying to be a more positive and open person.

[alspals69]

Well it's certainly true that you should have to feel that way.

When i was a lot younger... ooo teens probably..... i used to feel like that a lot. Over the years i have noticed the things i am good at and i try to focus on that part of myself.

It'd be great if you told us about your good things. For starters, i sense that your very sensative to other peoples needs.

Do you have any hobbies?

[Oldfart]

Self esteem is a rattlesnake. If you grasp it and twist it, it'll bite you hard and often.

Ignore it and just maybe it'll leave you alone.

As you get older you'll realise that you are here and now regardless of your mental state,

and just by doing well what you need to do, your self esteem will grow too.

[SexKittten_18]

I'm in college right now for Graphic Design, which has been something I've always been interested in. So I guess you could call that a hobby =)

Oldfart, I know what you mean. I just need to be poked and told I'm being silly I suppose ^-^

[Zelezniy]

Well you already said you need to get poked ...

opss sorry I didn't mean to be so vulgar, sorry :D

[imaginewithme]

I use to be told to stop apologizing for things I had no control over, but I was saying it in a more sincere way as to "oh I'm sorry you're having to deal with that" not that I could have control over, etc...that probably made no sense.

Just be you---if they are real friends then they will love you like you are, not want you to change anything about you. Thats my advise....for any problem! I'm sensitive too, oversensitive...well I was, not really as much anymore due to a lot of changes in my own life.

Keep your chin up and just be you. That's who your friends love anyway.

[Loulabelle]

I had a friend who said sorry for everything all the time....it's fairly common in teenaged girls I think...but this friend is in her mid thirties. She's finally growing some confidence in herself, has blossomed both physically and emotionally, and now apologises much less.

It's a symptom of a deeper problem rather than a problem itself. Getting laid, may indeed boost your self esteem in the short term and cure the problem temporarily, but long term, you need to find yourself and learn to love yourself, as much as your friends do. Easier said than done, but with most people it's just a matter of time....you're still young.

[WildIrish]

/me pokes you and tells you you're silly




and believe me...I know silly! :D

[Coaster]

Do you know where I could find those kind of bulbs? I don't think I've ever seen them before.



Yeah I've the addy at home for some.... I'll PM it to you..... they do work for a couple brothers of mine. And there are days I'd like to lie under them and pretend I'm on a Caribbean beach!

[alspals69]

I have to say, it's just lovely to see everyone bein gso helpful. Your in good hands Sexkitten... such good advice.

[bare4you]

I read a book once entitled "Freedom to Fail". Once I accepted the premise of the book, I realized that all those things I used to feel were my fault were not in reality. I then stopped apologizing for things that were out of my control. I control my own life and nothing else really. If other folks have a problem with my foibles, mistakes, quirks, and eccentricies - to hell with them! Sounds a bit egotistical I know, but I have to live my life according to my own standards. If my standards don't quite measure up to someone else's expectations that is their problem and I will no longer apologize for my life to anyone.

Having said all that - you should be comfortable with who you are. Once you are then everyone else needs to accept the new you and you can put a smile on your pretty face and go on and never more have to apologize unless you really have a reason to.

So much for the "Dime Store" philosophy - here's hoping you get past this phase soon!

[SexKittten_18]

Thank you guys so much for all the advice and the help, I really truly appreciate it =D I'm working on not apologizing for every little thing, unless I truly think there is a need to do so. So far it hasn't worked (LOL!) but here's to getting through it all with the greatest people anyone could ever know online ^^

<3 you all,
Kitten

[Nightwolf]

hiya sorry to bug in here. But just wanted to also offer my help here too, another thing i've done all too often. so if you want to try and have an indepth talk just grab my email at [email protected]

Erm as for the SAD thing (Season affective Disorder) what happens when such as in winter months you become slightly more depressed. I could go into detail but i think you could learn more from looking into it yourself. But best thing to do is indeed get a light, it's a form of therapy is to try and simulate as much natural light as you can, in order to try and kind of create and external zeitgaber.

Sorry psychology student here, and it's just stuff i've remembered from A-level that may help.

[SexKittten_18]

Thanks =) I've added you to msn ^^