Anything funny happen during sex 4u?

[jake27]

One story I have is that my lady and I were making love outside once on a nice summer night. I was so turned on. We were "talking dirty" to one another cuz I think that's soooo hot. In the heat of the moment, I whispered to her, "I want you inside me." (I meant to say "I want to be inside you.")

[alspals69]

I once went for a walk with my ex. We wandered off the main path well out of site, but ended up on quite a steep hill.

One thing led to another and we started to make love.... her skirt up... my jeans down.

Trouble is... the grass was wet with the morning dew. as I slid down, full sex was briefly oral sex and then i was too far down. Several more attempts proved briefly unsuccessful.

As if this wasn't enough, on our final attempt, it turned out that there was a road on the other side of the valley. A fact we discovered when a bus went past.... a two deck bus with the top deck well over the top of the stone wall.

I'm suprised they didn't hold up score boards and award us points out of ten, lol.

Alan

[imaginewithme]

The dog scratching at the bedroom door got me laughing one time.... imagining him saying "hey, what's going on in there"

[nicole2309]

Once me and an ex were going at it at his place, and his sisters dog decided my panties were a chew toy, while we were too busy to notice. So, we finished and both busted out laughing at the site of the dog in the corner chewing on em. Needless to say, I didn't want them back, so I just let the dog keep his new found toy

[Jude30]

My wife and I used to be pretty adventurous. Lying in bed one night she asked if I felt like a blowjob, and who am I to turn down oral pleasures. She says how about we go out to the front porch. At this time we lived on a pretty busy street, right across the street from an apartment complex and less than a block from a University. She's just getting down to business when my brother, who was living with us at the time comes hopping out the front door, and says "you guys couldn't sleep either? I'm going to the Quik Trip for a pop you want anything?" I manage a no, and off he goes. The wife rolls over, and I pull up my boxers. Less than five minutes later my brother comes back up the front steps, and the wife and I can't contain our laughter. You could see the understanding dawning on his face, then he said "I interupted something didn't I". I just said yeah, and he told us he thought she was just resting her head in my lap.

[alspals69]

More years ago than i care to remember, i met a very very dear lady friend. Despite being banned from going upstairs in th ehouse where she was staying... we naturally did... after all.... no reason why anyone would ever find out.

And so it was that the second i was in her room, i planted my lips on hers and some seriously hot kissing took over. Then wandering hands under her top.... then her top off and my lips decending to her breasts.

As my fingers fumbled with the button to her jeans i suddenly felt her tense. I whirled round.... and there... just through the window.... was the next door neigbour staring at us while trying to mend his TV ariel. Well, we both just threw ourselves down on the floor laughing. It didn't last long though because at that moment someone returned to the house leaving us trapped upstairs.

In the end, she dressed, went downstairs and made conversation while i slipped quietly away.

I still don't know if next door ever told on us.

Alan

[wyndhy]

ya know the game where when you fart in another's company, you must say/touch a doorknob(or do some other juvinile activity) or suffer a dead arm?

that is the funniest thing that ever happened to me during sex.

[LixyChick]

ya know the game where when you fart in another's company, you must say/touch a doorknob(or do some other juvinile activity) or suffer a dead arm?

that is the funniest thing that ever happened to me during sex.
Um...nooooooooooooo? Can't say as I ever heard that one! ROFLMFAO@the mental pic I have now though!

Oh geezzzzzzzzzzzzz...wtf do ya mean by "dead arm"?


Hey! I gotta know!

[flutelady]

I want to know about the "dead arm", too. There's a whole lotta farting going on in this household (we've got kids... yeah, that's it) and this is a game I've not heard of. Yet!

[lorri]

Many years ago, my then boyfriend and I had decided we were alone enough on a secluded part of the English coastline to have a little outdoor fun on the beach.
We spent quite alot of time kissing and touching, but sure enough things went further and we ended up having a good 'shag' on the beach in the middle of the day.
Our clothes and things were scattered around us on the sand, and neither of us had realised that a dog had run off with one of my shoes , until the very kind owner walked up to us - shoe in hand - us still naked and passionately making love - and said "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to get home for dinner and I've waited as long as I could without disturbing you - I just wanted to return this to you as my dog appears to have run off with it!"
My boyfriend just turned around and said "thanks mate" and carried on his merry way. I am so glad that the most the poor man could see of me from the position we were in was just my backside LOL

I still get a flush of embarassment rush to my face when I think of it now! :rofl:

Lorri

[Mercury_Maniac]

nope. unless not having it is funny.

[wyndhy]

dead arm/dead leg~noun~the result of a knuckle punch* directly to the button that sits between the two muscles on your upper arm (or thigh), immediatley paralizing the offended limb. the pain is excruciating yet you can swing it around like a slapstick prop.

doorknob is a terrifically adolescant game. if you fart, and someone hears it, you must say doorknob AND touch a doorknob. the person within earshot of your offending flatulence may deliver you a dead arm until you accomplish both. if there is no doorknob, your fate is dire indeed.

*(knuckle-punch~noun~a viciously nasty close-fisted strike where the knuckle of the middle finger juts out from the fist)

[wyndhy]

^^that makes me sound like a sadist :p:D

there was no punching during the sex. it's just that he farted and then actually said doorknob ... as if i might be contemplating punching him. then we both disolved into snorting giggles. needless to say, sex was suspended for a little while.

[alspals69]

i thought you were gonna say you got farted on the first time you tried 69 and had to ask if you should expect another 68 of them, lol

[looloo]

yes actually with my ex partner.
Him and I were in the midlle of a fantastic sex session, we were at the part were it was 69er time. Well we were in the middle of doing our stuff and he had just let out a enormous fart on my face, and to make things worse there was a little spray aswell.... YUK

[Coaster]

^^^EEWwwwwwwwww.... what a mental picture!!!!^^^^

When wife and I were dating, we took a walk in the woods and came upon a field and brook with a beaver dam. Sitting down to enjoy it all we ended up attacking each other and afterwards while catching our breath, her startled gaze was followed by mine. Several cows had gathered and were watching us. This was a first for my city girl! :D

[WildIrish]

My hand flew off the end of my pecker and I wacked my funny bone on the edge of the bathroom vanity. Well, now it seems funny. ha ha

[alspals69]

Many years ago, my then boyfriend and I had decided we were alone enough on a secluded part of the English coastline to have a little outdoor fun on the beach.
We spent quite alot of time kissing and touching, but sure enough things went further and we ended up having a good 'shag' on the beach in the middle of the day.
Our clothes and things were scattered around us on the sand, and neither of us had realised that a dog had run off with one of my shoes , until the very kind owner walked up to us - shoe in hand - us still naked and passionately making love - and said "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have to get home for dinner and I've waited as long as I could without disturbing you - I just wanted to return this to you as my dog appears to have run off with it!"
My boyfriend just turned around and said "thanks mate" and carried on his merry way. I am so glad that the most the poor man could see of me from the position we were in was just my backside LOL

I still get a flush of embarassment rush to my face when I think of it now! :rofl:

Lorri

i just realised i read this at the time and it made me smile back then too, very funny

[Jayman]

One night when we thought our first son was asleep we started out having a great night...my wife ended up on top and just as we were both close to climax I heard my 2 1/2 year old son say "Yay! Ride em cowboy, Mommy!" He had snuck into the room, climbed on the bed, and jumped on my wife and played cowboy! We were both died! I put him back to bed, read him a story, and went back to my room...we then got the giggles and that ended our night...we now lock the door...