Just wondering

[BigBear57]

OK, having a discussion with a friend makes me ask our panel of experts.... do women view their men friends as those I would mate and date and those I buddy with but would never date?

[FallenAngel5]

Well... I know for me that the distinction exists, but it's normally an unconscious thing. I don't line my male friend up and say yes, yes, no, yes... :) There's some that I've thought about dating, and others that I've thought about definitely not dating, but most I've just never given thought to. If I did, they would fall into one category or the other, I'm sure, but it's not at the top of my list.

[Cheyanne]

Interesting question... :D

When I was single, men friends were just men friends to me. When I considered them a "buddy" I didn't usually place them on the "would like to date list".

[fzzy]

Hmmmmm.... interesting question BigBear .... I've never really thought about it in generic terms .... my friends are my friends .... (men or women) and there are some I'd date .. some I've started dating before we became friends and some I probably wouldn't date with a purpose, though I'd gladly attend some function or other with them if one of us needed a "date" to comfortably attend. One of the funnest times I ever had as a night out was such an occassion .... it was sponsored by a local singles church group and the only way you could attend was with a "date" ... a lot of people there came with a friend they probably wouldn't date (with a purpose), so it ended up in the dancing time that there were exactly the number of people for everyone to be dancing, but most of the dances weren't with the person you came to the party with ... all of us had a great time ... and in fact the people who said it wasn't as fun for them ... the ones who were there with a boy/girl friend that they were seriously dating.

never say never I guess ... :)

[Steph]

I think all my male friends are "date-worthy" but I like them as is. I wouldn't hesitate to introduce them to my single gal pals, though.

I think of them as brothers and wouldn't want to mess up that dynamic.

[BigBear57]

LOL Steph, the worse quote in the world to me is "I love you like a brother!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard it. I usually hear it when I've fallen hard... that bites too.

[Steph]

Awww (((((BigBear)))))))

Did you tell them when you started falling for them? It might be different if my friends and me weren't dating gypsies (the less polite might refer to us as ho-like).

Actually, come to think of it, I had a roommate who was also a brother/friend. We'd have beers and come home after the bar and get really physical but we just never had that spark. For me and for my guy friends, it just feels weird. I know people who have been friends for a long time and then hook up . . . I dunno, maybe it's because I was best friends with a lot of my cousins and I appreciate them for being good-looking boys but it wasn't a line to cross?

And, of course, it goes without saying that I would LOVE to hook you up with one of my single sistas!

[BigBear57]

Yeah well, those things happen sometimes without my realising untill I hear those words. You wouldn't believe how wierd it feels after that. I'm used to it now though. I mean I've been a crying shoulder for so many that it's almost like I listen for those words now. I just figure I'm a better friend than lover... I guess that's something to be proud of. As for hooking up with a sista... I wish I was closer, that'd be too cool! ((((((((((((((Steph)))))))))))

[TinTennessee]

The only thing I can say is this....I have male friends that are like big brothers and I have never had a desire to date them. However, there are men I have dated that didn't work out for one reason or another and we remain friends.

[PantyFanatic]

..... As for hooking up with a sista... I wish I was closer, that'd be too cool! ((((((((((((((Steph)))))))))))
I'm sure that her sister is able to come to you.






Remember what Samson told Delilah. ;)
“I prayed to god for an angel and the devil sent me you.”

[BigBear57]

Oh damn, I met that one! LOL

[PantyFanatic]

:grin:

[Steph]

Ahaahahaha, shut it!

[Coaster]

I'm sure that her sister is able to come to you.






Remember what Samson told Delilah. ;)
“I prayed to god for an angel and the devil sent me you.”



Eeeeeeeeeeesh! ****Shivers!*****

[LixyChick]

I'm telling Mr. Lixy that this thread seems to be saying I have the option to date now...even though I am married!

Whew! Been looking for a way around that clause in the wedding vows (keeping only unto him...yada, yada, yada)! LMFAO!

JK..JK folks.
















Or...am I?

Anyway, um...IF I were still in single mode...I know from experience that any male friend I had would want to "date" me if I gave the go ahead ("date"=bang...ya know what I mean?). But yes...I would have a date-no date subconscious line that if crossed by him (whoever him may be) I'd have to tell him it could never be.

It's not like I would say, "Hi, my name is _______...*thinking...he's got no chance or yes, I'd do him...er, date him*". But as time went on and the friendship took the course it was destined to take, the decision would make itself known...unbeknownst to me...till "the line" was breached and he made a move...and I had to say yes or no.

Geezzzzzzzz...ya might have to read and reread that ^^^ cause it barely makes sense to me and I wrote it! But trust me...it does make sense. :dizzy: :wobble:

Hmmm.../me thinks I am babbling again!

[jennaflower]

Hello BigBear... (((HUGS)))

I do agree with fallenangel... in that it seems to be an unconcious thing. Tho... I find that I am MOST attractive to those men in my life... tho unfortunately for me... they are married... thus making them off limits.. BUT because we are friends... they know.. LOL... and even encourage me. LOL

I am the type of person that doesn't rush things.. I don't fee comfortable with blind dates.. or spur of the moment relationships... instead... I prefer to get to know them overtime... a friendship built first.... the problem is tho... that there is almost an invisible line... a point where the friendship is toooo established... toooo dear... that I won't risk it...

Hugs..

[osuche]

Yes, there is a "date" and a "not date" division of my male friends. Most of them are on the "date" side ~~ if I like them well enough for froendship, chances are they have the qualities I look for in a date. But sometimes the physical attraction isn't there.