Missing someone you totally love

[Missy1965]

Just curious has anyone ever truly missed someone they loved so much that it literaly hurts? And is there reallly such a thing as a broken heart? i have to say I do believe there is.

[Cassiopeia]

I think all who have truly loved someone and missed them have felt that way. Physiologically speaking, I don't think that there is such a thing. But I do think that something can be said about extreme emotions affecting your physical well being. My sympathies, Missy. And I hope you get to see your special someone soon.

[Lilith]

I have felt the physical pains that go with the emotional anguish of having lost a love. I've felt like I couldn't eat, or sleep, or think. I've been physically ill over the prospect of having to carry on.

[Missy1965]

I have to say that I feel kinda foolish but in all my 40 years a couple relationships and one marriage that ended i have never expierenced anything like this before. Lilith not being able to sleep or eat is the least of it, i can't seem to function normally. The tears just won't stop flowing 24-7. Like I said i feel a little foolish because of it but i can't seem to snap out of it. Everyone says move on find someone else that's the last thing in the world I would want right now. There is no such thing as replacing a person with someone else. Especially someone who means so much to me. I can't imagine how things are going to be. The loss is so enormous and so overwhelming. So much so that I have expierenced death of loved ones and for some reason this feels worse. Maybe something is wrong with me but I do believe that the phrase a broken heart is not just a myth.

[lonelyarmywife]

Don't even get me started.... :(

i know what you are going through right now, really I do. I promise that with every day it will get a little easier. It would be very very easy to slip into a funk and cry yourself to death every day, but you can't do that. You have to make a concious effort to stay busy and to keep yourself going, otherwise you fall apart.

LAW

[lizzardbits]

the day that i was to return to the States and leaving Mayhem behind in the UK was the most heartwrenching day of my life, second only to letting my son choose to live with his dad. My sternum felt like it was trying to flatten my heart into my spine, it hurt so bad. i wept most of the flight back.
sometimes on really lonely nights, when i miss him the most, i feel the same ache, but he will be coming over here to visit me soon and i have that to look forwards to. Plus we call each other almost everyday and that helps to fight the ache, as well as being grateful that i have a wonderful man that loves me as much as i love him.

i wish the best for you Missy1965 (((hugs)))

[Lilith]

Perhaps the pain is different because they are not dead. Along with the loss of love comes the knowing that this person has decided that you are not the one. The pain is compounded by the rejection maybe.

[Missy1965]

It's nice to know I'm not so alone. Spent almost seven years together. It's all so overwhelming.

You guys have all seen our pics posted over the years that's a whole other story how do I begin to live without the sex. I want to be with him so much when I close my eyes I can almost feel him touching me.

[Aqua]

I've had the same feelings described above... no desire for food, constant weeping, flat out hurting. Knowing that time is the only thing to take away the pain doesn't really help any, but it's true. Oh, and being with friends. It doesn't fix it, but it helps keep your mind off it for awhile. Hang in there Missy.

[BIBI]

It's not a broken heart Missy.

It is our spirit that is broken and the pain from this envelops us to the very essence of our being.

You have suffered a loss and now you are grieving. We all do in our own way and our own time. There is not a schedule or a set time to grieve.

There are five stages that people go through.....

denial, anger, bargaining,depression and finally acceptance, though not in any specific order. In one day a person can fluctuate between them all. It is the end result that is the most important, that being acceptance. It is not easy to lose what you hold dear and a breakup can be compared to a death for in reality it is the ending of the relationship.

Read up on these five stages and I am sure it will help you understand more of what exactly you are feeling and why. Your just being human Missy. I hope for you better days ahead.

[wyndhy]

(((missy)))
it’s so hard. i've felt those things, too and i know you feel crushed, physically and spiritually. try and find some outlet for your emotions, it’ll help. friends are good but crafts, books, cooking...whatever...they work too. seven years is a long time , it’s going to be so difficult to overcome.

but beware, when deep depression lasts too long and literally thwarts you from doing the things you need to do like eating and the things would otherwise want to do, like grab a movie...well, then you need help. i'm not talking anything professional, necessarily, but definitely something to help you sort through it if you feel like you’re gonna go under... as soon as it’s got more control than you. i hope that didn’t offend you, i’m not saying your coo-coo :D just keep it in mind. clinical depression can happen real fast. one day you’re semi-cool and the next you’re sleeping 22 out of 24 hours. jus’ take care of yourself, is all.
((more hugs))

[Steph]

Awww ((((Missy)))))) Seven years is a freaking long time, sweetie.

I had a similar situation earlier this year . . . the thing was, I wasn't even in love with him anymore. He was a drug addict with a disease & wouldn't look after himself.

Like Lil & BIBI alluded . . . I had to pretend he was dead but it hurt to cut him out of my life (but he was a shithead to me, too).

I think what hurt the most was that I tried really hard (too hard, most of my friends will say) to help him & couldn't reach him.

I can say things get easier. Not too long after I posted a thread about broken hearts a few months ago, I ended up meeting a really nice guy even though I was definitely not looking.

Sappy music helps. Don't be concerned about crying. It was a phase with me. I will also say I ended up confronting other issues in my life during that period & benefited immensely from therapy.

Pamper yourself. A new haircut is mandatory.

Again, I refer to the restorative powers of a special drink like Lil's mudslides.

[sodaklostsoul]

(((((((Missy)))))))

I think most of us have been where you are now.......it sucks. I was hurt for the longest time and then it turned to anger....to this day I cannot say his name without being somewhat pissed. But I got over it and life went on. I thought that I would be single forever.....only last year when I wasn't looking love bit me in the ass. Best advice I can offer is get out and don't stay home to cry. Go to a movie, window shop, Barnes & Noble for a latte :).......and check in here everyday, cause we love you. If you need to rant, cry, throw things.....PM me..I'm a good listner. Ask Steph!! LOL

You can and will get through this.