First Love, Untainted Memories

[krzykrn]

I was having a conversation with a friend the other night when she said something to me that sort of struck me strange. We were talking about past relationships and love, when she says that her first love (who she also happened to give her virginity to) will always have a special place in her heart, that she will always love him. Now normally this would make sense to me, after all, it is a very emotional time in a woman's life (well anyone's life)...but this guy was a bastard to her. He cheated on her multiple times when they were together and left out some important aspects of her life hidden from her (such as already having a baby with another woman and he wanted nothing to do with the child).

Now I was confused, and I still am, so I thought I would put this out to the Pixie's populous (especially the ladies). What are your thoughts and memories of your first love or the person you gave yourself to? Granted, they may not be the same person, but I am just curious, is it just the emotions attached to the memories that cause them to become untainted by whatever that person did to you? Do you still have good memories, does your first love always own a piece of your heart? Do you feel that, if that is the case, can you love another just as much or even more? Yes I know, many questions, but it has really thrown me for a loop as I ponder...

[Lilith]

Mitchell, we kissed for hours on end (He was all nose, lips and tongues). Of course we were 13. :D The end of my senior year of high school he found me in the middle of the night and did some crazy serenade. We made out like maddddddd (this time he was allllll hands) and he could have had me right then and there on the lawn. But he left and I've never seen him since. He was my first love almost 20 years ago and if he drove up in the middle of the night...well I can't promise he'd make it off the lawn with his pants on this time. :p


LOL I got so carried away by the happy feelings that I didn't answer the questions.

The memories are untainted because he was a boy and never let me down.
First love is nothing like real love to me. It's romantic and dreamy and full of possibilities with out any of the effort.

[wyndhy]

my first fuck...well that would be my husband :hot:
my first love i remember fondly. i think i always will. but i was lucky and he was a great guy. very sweet and generous and gentlemanly. but i don't feel a tendre for him still, if that's what you mean by 'own a piece of your heart'.

as for the dilema of loving someone else more or less. that' an intesting question and this is how i see it.the heart isn't finite. it doesn't even contol love when you think about it and the capacity of love isn't bound by the strictures of cubic space. i do feel this tough: that if one love gets in the way of another love, or weakens it, or kills it, then it's a problem, but one having more to do with commitment and respect than with allocation.

[ILikeItRough]

the first bf i had was when i was 13 until i was 17... we waited 2 and a half years into the relationship to have sex to make sure we were really ready for it. He is one of the sweetest guys i know and i have great memories with him. we decided when we broke up to still be friends because after seeing each other and talking to each other every day of our lives for almost 4 years, it wouldnt seem right to just cut off all communication with each other suddenly one day just because we weren't a couple anymore. thank god tho, hes one of the greatest friends i have and he has always been there for me no matter what. i really hope he thinks the same about me...

[Steph]

I lost my virginity to Tim, my first "love". He sucked in bed (I think I actually chose him because he'd had quite a few lovers -- let's face it, I read about sex all the time, I wasn't going to give it up to some bozo . . . alas, it turned out he was NOT all that & a bag of chips). I broke up with him for some stupid reason & he ended up dating (let's face it, screwing) my "best" friend. I went to the store she worked at & she started bragging about wearing his earring (I was like, "Ewww, you're wearing his earring? That's disgusting!). I was more pissed at her for being such a bitch.

Tim ended up opening a wicked hair salon & I always got good deals & great cuts/manicures/colour from there.

I was just thinking about him the other day because I saw someone similar on the street. I didn't blame him because I did dump him. He could have moved on less quickly perhaps & with someone I didn't hang out with every day but whatever. I've never had such a bad lover since, at least!

OK, he wasn't *that* bad at the foreplay part but losing my virginity was very anticlimatic (no pun intended).

[Loulabelle]

Memories of the guy I lost my virginity are the most sketchy of all my relationships actually. There were some good times, and some awful times, which were not directly his or my fault...in the end the relationship fizzled out when I went to Uni and met someone else.

The guy I was seeing before that, however, was the only guy ever to dump me....he was the first guy I ever enjoyed kissing and while we didn't sleep together we went through pretty much all the 'bases' together and he broke my heart when he dumped me after three months without telling me why. So yes, there'll always be a special place in my heart for him....the one that got away.

As for loving someone more, yes you certainly can....I think when you're young, you fall in love with being in love and so the first person to make you feel like that is always special.

[nicole2309]

Looks like i'm really in the minority here. My first love (who was the guy i lost my virginity to) treated me bad, cheated, and turned out to be a really awful guy in every way. I don't feel like he has a place in my heart, and the good memories I have are outweighed by the bad. I think that I feel this way though because I stayed with him way too long. Who knows I might would feel differently if I'd left before things got so bad.

[nikki1979]

the first guy i ever loved was when i was 13, he barley knew iexisted i was so head over heels for him and he used it to his advantage! totally got screwed over , then theres the guy i lost it to, was totally in love withhim as well and found out that he was cheating on me and all that wonderfull BS , he was a very poor lover and ive no clue anymore what i saw in him LOL!!!those were the first two guys i "loved" i think i was in love with being in love because i was able to stop loving them very quickly after it was all over and didnt stay at home a wreck at all, now there was this guy i was head over heels for my junior year in high school, i still hold a place for him in my heart , and since he has a BIG resemblance to nick cage i think fondly of him every time i see a cage movie LOL!! he was the only guy i ever dated who didnt treat me like crap , we only broke up cuz he got out of the service and moved home. he did ask me to go with him but i was only 16 and not ready to leave the nest. maybe he was my first TRUE LOVE and the other was just puppy love ..................*sigh*

[Loren]

I'm still married to my first love.

[Aqua]

My first love was the woman I lost my virginity to, then dated, then broke up with, then got together with a couple years later, then married, then had a child, then divorced.

The only thing we really had was sex. We liked some of the same music at one point, but we are way different intellectually and didn't really have too much in common.

I used to hold a little bit of a special place for her, just sentimental first love feelings, but not love itself, but she pretty much killed that by being a lousy parent to our daughter.

[lonelyarmywife]

I'm still married to my first love.

me too.

[wyndhy]

I'm still married to my first love.me too.

awwww. so romantic

[WildIrish]

I lost my first love while we were still together, and she will always hold her place in my heart & mind. I understand that part of that is because our relationship was never given the opportunity to be impacted by real life experiences...but that doesn't make it any better. She was great and that's how I remember her.

[osuche]

(((((WI))))))






As for me, my first true love is still my best friend and I love him dearly. Don't tell Mr. Osuche, but if I could save only one person from a house fire....there would be a moment of hesitation before I chose my husband. :D My first love is a wonderful man who I would *never* want to live with. :p

As for good untainted memories -- I think because we're still friends, and I see the good and the bad....I am more realistic than most.

[OzKristin]

im still currently friends w/ my ex aka first love aka person who took my virginity and even tho there were a lot of problems between us, i still can't think of my life without him in it and i even still think about how it would be like a few yrs down the road from now..who knows maybe we'll get back together...