Not cumming during oral

[smithy020]

I'm not sure how to put this, in the last couple of weeks i've started....well for a want of a better word...having an affair with a girl in a long term relationship. Now i know its shitty thing to be doing, but it just feels right and i've not forced anything with her...infact she kissed me the first time!

Well anyway last night she was giving me oral sex for about half an hour or longer even with out me cumming....She was very hurt by me not cumming, it wasnt that it wasnt good, infact it was great! But i was just wondering if anyone else has had problems with cumming during oral?

thanks :rolleyes2

[Jude30]

Have you ever been able to cum during oral, or is this a recent thing?

You you have in the past and not now it could be a mental block with this girl. It's also not uncommon for guys to not to be able to orgasm from oral.

[Steph]

Pardon the pun but it does suck when he doesn't cum during oral. I like it when he strokes himself when I'm going down on him (especially in the beginning of a relationship). It cuts down on the initial awkwardness of trying to please him and feeling like I'm not succeeding & I also find out what he likes.

Even though you said she was awesome, I wonder if it might have been due to nervousness?

[Zephreck]

Personally I think a large part of it (just going off what your post is saying) is that somewhere in your mind you are hesitant to be with this girl. There is definately signs of you holding back. You feel at least to some degree that being with her (since she is in a long term relationship) is wrong. That is part of it I would think. Men as well as women can certainly put mental blocks up that have powerful effects on us.

If it isn't that or in addition to that I believe like the other two posters that shyness, maybe the sense of "I can't believe this is happening finally" etc are playing a part in it as well.

For me personally even with a woman that I love without problems or holding back I can be so sensitive from it that it takes a long time for me to cum through oral. But when I do it can be much more intense than a normal orgasm. I had an ex that had TMJ and couldn't go down on me for long but loved the taste and the feeling of me finishing in her mouth. We would make love and have fun and just as I got close naturally she would slide down and let me finish in her mouth. That way worked every time for me. The excitement of being in her body and the anticipation of finishing in her mouth worked for me.

My sugestion.. work first on the thoughts and feelings behind your current relationship with the lady. Believe it or not it has a big impact on this. Not just this but other things as well.

And if you continue to have the relationship with her try different things mixed in with it and coordinate so that when you finish it is with her going down on you. Not sure if this helps or not.... Good luck.

[Loulabelle]

I'm sure Fussy won't mind me sharing the fact that he NEVER cums during oral.

In fact, he's only cum during oral sex twice in his life, neither times was with me, but both were in slightly unusual places, where the excitement and risk of being caught made it a more thrilling experience (by the way, I only learned that on Thursday, so you can imagine, that I'll be putting this knowledge to good use!)

While I can sympathise that we women are insecure about our sexual technique and worry that we give a crap blow job if we don't get anything to swallow at the end, she really shouldn't put you through a guilt trip because you didn't cum. I'm sure you wouldn't make her feel guilty if she didn't cum during intercourse (which the majority of women, statistically, don't).

For my own part, Fussy knows I'd love to be able to make him cum, but we are also realistic that it might never happen...my mouth just gets too tired, and he gets so frustrated that he demands to fuck me, before long (*sigh* what a chore.....not!!!!)

On the plus side for me, while I always swallow when I have the opportunity, I'm not a huge fan of the taste, so with Fussy it means I get all the fun of sucking, and none of the bitter saltiness of having anything to swallow!

Try to turn it around into a positive with her, pointing out that you're lack of ability (at least at present) to cum in her mouth makes you a better, longer lasting lover.....we confessed to a friend of ours recently that Fussy doesn't cum from oral, and she turned green with envy and said 'OMG I'd have a field day with you!'

On a final note....you may be suffering from a little bit of guilt related anxiety about what you're doing....remember, that it's your life, your choice and the only person you need to be able to look in the eye and feel OK with, is yourself, in the mirror every day.

[smithy020]

thanks everyone.....the advice helps loads. the main problem with it was that she felt because i couldnt cum that was wasn't doing it for me.....i manage to dispel that today.

i still feel the "relationship" is right and i'm having loads of fun with her...either naked or not!