age and attraction

[wanderingsoul]

I've recently been doing a lot of thinking about what I want in a woman and what in a woman attracts me. I've never really fit in with my peers. I'm also the type of person who whole-heartedly believes that inner beauty or lack there of, far outweighs any amount of physical beauty. For a long time I've preferred my women to have at least a few extra pounds. I'm also attracted to those who have been through a lot. I'm attracted to women who know what they want and how to get it. I'm also attracted weaknesses and disabilities.

What all of this adds up to, and this is the point of this whole thing. I find myself being overwhelmingly attracted to older women. When I look at a decent looking, slightly overweight, 30-40 something year old woman, I find myself as much if not more attracted than I would be if I saw the typical 18-20 porno chick dressed and in the same situation.

Now don't get me wrong, in no way shape or form to I think there's anything wrong with that. However, I can't help but wonder what exactly attracts me to everything that the rest of the world wants me to think is not attractive?

Okay, now what really sucks about all this is that my laptop blew up a couple days ago but I'll leave that for another post. None the less, I won't be able to help keep this thread going until the 15-20th. So before I leave let me leave all of you with a few questions in no particular order.

What attracts you to someone and why?
Does inner beauty outweigh outer?
Have you ever reexamined yourself and found your attracted to something you once found unattractive?
What do you think about first when you hear the word "age"?
what does age mean to you?
Are some of the qualities you find unattractive, also qualities of yourself?
What effect does age have on sex drive?

Ok and now this question just for my fun and benefit. If you were the type of woman described above and a young handsome buck like myself offered to lick you off until you beg me to stop, would you let me?

Can't wait to see the kind of responses I'm gonna get on this one. lol

[lonelyarmywife]

wanderingsoul,

First let me say that i think you have come along way since some of the earlier posts I have seen you post. I'm very happy to see you finding peace and I'm proud of your progess.

now for your questions...

What attracts you to someone and why?
You mean physically? Because whether we want to admit it or not, that's the beginning of all attraction. Everyone has different turn on and turn offs. After you get past the physicality, what makes me stay with someone is a sense of spontnaity and they have to make me laugh. All the time. My husband has both of these, that's why i think i'll keep him around.

Does inner beauty outweigh outer?
Yes. Although I think that sometimes alot of people overlook inner beauty becuase they get caught up in outer. But that's not love, that's lust.

Have you ever reexamined yourself and found your attracted to something you once found unattractive?
Not really. I'm sure some people have, but I'm not into self-examination. It ruins my theory that I'm perfect :) lol

What do you think about first when you hear the word "age"?
A chronological account of how many years a person has lived.

what does age mean to you?
Age is all in your head. Seriously. My mother in law is 45 years old but acts like she's 23. For this reason, she doens't feel 45. Age is nothing but a number, but maturity can make you older or younger than you really are.

Are some of the qualities you find unattractive, also qualities of yourself?
yes *shame

What effect does age have on sex drive?
None. Absolutely none. I used to work in a nursing home - now THOSE are some horney old bastards. Sometimes it just needs a little extra help, you know? But that doesn't mean that they are wanting to do it. And again, it's all in the mental state. Some people choose to give up as their life goes on. I sincerely hope I am the type of person who keeps going.

Ok and now this question just for my fun and benefit. If you were the type of woman described above and a young handsome buck like myself offered to lick you off until you beg me to stop, would you let me?
Ok, I'm not. But if I were, I'd like to think that the answer would be....hmmm....thinking thinkging.........YES!

[Pita]

What attracts you to someone and why? ~Their personality clicking with mine is a good start. Nice smile helps too.

Does inner beauty outweigh outer? ~Yes it does.

Have you ever reexamined yourself and found your attracted to something you once found unattractive? ~Yes I have.

What do you think about first when you hear the word "age"? ~Mature

what does age mean to you? ~It means that you have a better understanding of yourself and what it is you want out of life.

Are some of the qualities you find unattractive, also qualities of yourself?~Yes, I tend to be too much of a pushover and don't say what I really feel.

What effect does age have on sex drive? ~It can and does lower sex drive. But I also feel as long as the person is still thought of as sexy and wanted then they should have a great time for as long as they are able. And there is always the little blue pill. ;)

Ok and now this question just for my fun and benefit. If you were the type of woman described above and a young handsome buck like myself offered to lick you off until you beg me to stop, would you let me? ~If I was free and single and needing a good licking I don't see why not. :D

[Zephreck]

I think the target audience you are looking for responses from is women so I will not answer your questions. But I did want to share a few thoughts.

Being a man that is somewhat similar to you I would say the following:

I found myself attracted to "older" women when I was in my early twenties and now that I am finally 30 I am just barely younger than most women I date now. As you grow older you may find yourself getting closer to that target group as well.

Age is what you make of it really. But you do want to be realistic in your relationships. Meaning don't date people too young so that you are breaking the law (obvious one but needed to be stated) and if you date someone several years older than you at some point you have to ask yourself if you are comfortable marrying someone and spending the rest of your life with the age gap. If you are then I would say continue on. If not and you just enjoy their presence then you are being unfair to the lady.

And one final note.. Keep in mind that as someone that is more of a "giver" than most I sense a bit of that in you as well. It is a great thing to give everything you have in a relationship but be wary of getting in a relationship where that is only one way. We often love in the same way we want to be loved. So if you are looking at the feasability of being with someone make sure that they are willing to give you what you need as well. If not over time (it may take a year or two) your attitude will change because over time you will begin to feel as if you are being used because she has gotten use to your giving nature without giving in return.

Anyway that is my rambling on the subject.

[fzzy]

Funny, when I was in my 20's ... it was always guys in their 30's that I went for ... now in my 40's .... funny thing ... it's been mainly guys in their 30's that I've dated ... not that I'm looking for guys that age, just seems to happen that way.

What attracts me ... of course there are the physical things that will catch my attention, but what holds my attention ... sense of humor, sense of intelligence, some common ground for discussion purposes .... and it sure helps if he's a reasonably nice guy as well.

Inner beauty/outer beauty .... yes inner beauty wins out very quickly for me ... I can't be attracted to someone for very long if I don't like who they are inside.

The first time I fell in love, it was with a guy who I had known for almost 10 years ... the first 4 or 5 years ... I could barely stand to be in the same room with him, the next couple of years we started to get comfortable with each other and became friends, then after years and years of knowing each other, one day I looked at him and knew that I was in love with him. Ultimately it didn't work between us, but he will always hold a part of my heart.

Age? Don't know, that I think of something specific, usually think of it in the context it is mentioned in during a particular conversation.

Absolutely the things I most dispise in others is also the stuff I most dispise in myself ... and I'm very aware of it.

Effect of age on sex drive ... I don't think it has to have an effect, but there is no question that hormones rise and fall with certain ages in the different sexes ... As I hit my 40's my sex drive became a much stronger factor in my life.

I'll skip over the last question ... I've dated younger, but sorry ... you're just a bit tooooo young for me .... and I'm definately way tooooo old for you! But, best of luck in finding what you are looking for!

[lakritze]

First rule of thumb is never let the commercial driven mass media culturial industrial complex dictate your taste. Sadly most people do,as a result plastic surgens are very wealthy. As for the women I am attracted to,well it is hard to catigorize. Generally I find women between the ages 27 and 45 about 5'5" to 5'9" with a little extra padding very attractive.Ethnic variety is not a problem. I like them intelligent, fiercly independent and a little self indulgent. Brunetts are my favourite and olive skin nearly drives me wild. Mono browed a la Frida Kahlo is an extra bonus. heh heh Inner beauty always does out weigh outer beauty.As for age,it's really just a number

[bare4you]

For me - I find women of all ages, sizes and types attractive. There is something very special about a woman who is willing to put up with all the baggage a guy carries around just because he is a guy! Age is a state of mind (I keep telling myself since I am now a card carrying member of AARP). Older women (as you describe) have so much to offer you. Life experience is the biggest teacher a person has, let her educate you! As long as the two of you can get past the prejudices of a younger man with an older woman - I say why not!

[scotzoidman]

Don't know if this is really on-topic or not, but I've been wondering for a long time, is it me, or are older women just getting better looking all the time? Not sure if I really care what the answer is, either...

[Lilith]

<~~~~ is an older woman....*flutters my eyelashes*

[LixyChick]

^^^^ T'nother older woman here scotz *blink, blink*

P.S. Purposely didn't answer the questions cause I feel like I've been discussed already...while I wasn't around! *giggle*

P.P.S Please see "General Chat" forum for age declaration and discussion[s]!

[Enigma]

My friends think I am odd because I am not into younger women. At 38 I find myself attracted to women that are close to my age or older. I find the way women carry themselves in their 30's, 40's and 50's to be so much more arousing then the ones in their 20's. I also have come to appreciate that most women have many things about them that makes them attractive and sensual. I no longer submit to the mass media onslaught that we all have to be the buff guys/hot women that simply are unrealistic. My friends can have the younger women. I will stick with my choices and experience and appreciate the truly beautiful women of the world.