Pixies Place Forums - Hurting Beyond Belief

AngelicVampires

08-01-2005, 08:05 PM

I know this topic has been covered over and over and over again but...every story has a different twist...and in need of different levels of comforting. After 6 months of dating the guy of my dreams, it has ended. I knew that our relationship wasn't perfect but even still I never wanted it to end. I cried for about 4 hours straight...and still going off and on since Saturday night. Seems like it only feels worse when your family keeps bugging you to talk about it and you don't want to. I've gond through the "I just want to die" phase to the "What's so wrong with me?" phase. I guess it hurts so bad because, as corny as it may sound, he was the first guy that I was truly ever in love with. So much so that he was my first (and I don't regret it in the slightest). Is it wrong that I keep hoping that he comes back to me? I feel selfish for wanting that but it's how I feel. I honestly saw us getting married some day...and now that that doesn't seem to be the case, I feel so lost. :(

Aqua

08-01-2005, 08:10 PM

Sorry to hear baout your breakup, AV. I remember going through a simialr one way back when. I cried alllll weekend when she left. And then off and on for the next week. It just takes time (and distance) to get over it.

((((((Hugs)))))))

erickss

08-01-2005, 08:16 PM

AV,
My ex-wife served me divorce papers 2 weeks after our 8th anniversary. The hurt will be there for a wile, but time will deaden the pain. The other part will be resetting your mind to "it's time to move on". The latter is very hard to do, but very much needed.

lonelyarmywife

08-01-2005, 08:17 PM

One day at a time, baby, one at a time. I swear to God it gets easier.

((((((we-wuv-you))))))

AngelicVampires

08-01-2005, 08:20 PM

Thanks guys. I know I've said this in the past but this time I plan on keeping my word. Since I now know what it feels to really love someone, I don't want to go through this again. If he comes back to me, that will be the happiest day of my life. If not, I will reject anyone that attempts anything more than a friendship. I just feel that that is the best option for me. Single by choice is the only way I can really protect my heart.

erickss

08-01-2005, 08:28 PM

AV,
I felt the same way shortly after being served, but one thing I remember from when I was growing up, was that life is to be experienced, that means both the good and the bad. Don't give up, but do allow yourself the grief and allow yourself to build back up. I had lots of friends and family to support me. Most of all, don't give up living life.

<-- Telling myself this as well.

PantyFanatic

08-01-2005, 08:29 PM

I know that words from another past can NEVER be heard in your present, especially in a time like this. :(

All I can tell you is not to let the subject of your question change from a person, to time, when you ask ‘where did it go?’

A much wiser Pixie once had the signature-
“Don’t cry because it ended. Smile because it happened. :)”

:hug:

Kaelynn

08-01-2005, 10:50 PM

Babe I wish I could have better advice for you. Honey you need to seperate yourself from him, his attitude about himself is horrible we have known that since we met him. Why does that affect your relationship suddenly now? Why would you even consider marrying him now? He has hurt you honey... cut your losses and seperate now.

It will take time babe, trust me I know that, I fell hard once, and been trying to prevent it and avoid it like the plague since. I find things about every guy I'm with to make them some how not perfect, but now... I don't know that I can find anything wrong with, well you know who... AV, I'm scared... I don't want to get hurt again, and that is all I can focus on. He can tell how I feel from how often I contact him, how I listen to him, how I obey him, and worst of all how I respond to him. I just refuse to admit it, I don't want to get hurt, and it's inevitable. Everytime he says something about me falling for him my blood turns cold and I cringe. I wish I could get past that, I just can't yet. Anyway... back to the situation at hand, don't mean to take focus away from you...

Ok so as you know James and I are really good friends, distance and time did that, I will keep him in my life and he will do the same for me. We won't ever be the same but we will have a great friendship. I am sorry but I really think you should do this with your loved one. I know you love him, I know you do, probably way more than I ever did James. You need to step back if you can and really analyse how you feel about him. I know you love him but what would you change if you could? Try to remember some of the arguments you two had, how he made you feel at times, how mean he could be, how rough he was, everything that hurt you. Try not to focus on the good things for awhile, I know it is hard, TRUST me I do. Focus on how he has hurt you at times.

Babe, the worst thing you can do is continue to talk to him and beg him to come back. When you both decide it is over... you BOTH need to leave it that way. If he is doing the same to you, you just need to take time and think about it all. Babe all I can say is before he came into your life I never saw you cry but once I think. Suddenly he was there and I would come home and find you crying, or at night you would leave so you wouldn't do it in front of me. I love you honey, we can find better, I know it doesn't look that way at the moment, but trust me I am sure you can. You can find someone that makes you happy all the time... not just some of the time. He ended this, let him come crawling to you.

IF you want to not listen to any of the above, I am ok with that. But I do think you both need to back up and take some time away for a little while, not talk every night, and maybe go back to just dating and no touching. Work on your relationship, you can't change how he feels about himself only he can. He needs to change... Not you.

I know it doesn't help but Honey, I love you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((AV))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Kaelynn

08-01-2005, 10:56 PM

Just to clarify to everyone else reading, she was never physically hurt, well actually a couple times, but we were all rough housing, it was fun. Also he isn't a bad guy, he just has a poor oppinion of himself and he can be very forceful with his views. He isn't a bad guy, I just don't like seeing my girl hurt.

Again, I love ya Hun

Coaster

08-01-2005, 11:27 PM

((((((((av))))))))))

fzzy

08-02-2005, 12:30 AM

((((((((AV))))))))) hope your heart begins to feel better soon .... but can I just give you something to think about ... and I give this as someone who has lived a long time and played it safe with my heart for most of that time .... I believe (with wisdom of one who cannot reverse these decisions in my own life) that love is always a gift and that it always has the ability to bring us joy .... even when it doesn't last it can leave us a better person (if we let it) and that makes it worth trying again ... I'm only now in an emotional place in my life where I can move forward in those beliefs ... and it is so much harder after soooo many years doing it the other way.

Give yourself sufficient time to recover, time to discover what you would like to do different the next go around and then go looking for love ... with hope (not desperation) and find it where you will .... if not in romance, that enjoy love of friends, family, etc. I wish you all the BEST!!!!

lonelyarmywife

08-02-2005, 07:58 AM

AV,

Kaelynn is giving you very sound advice. Listen to her. She's a gen-i-us.

I really hurts me to see you going through this. And t hurts me even more to hear you say that single by choice is the only way to go. It isn't. I know that right you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stampeded by a herd of buffalo, or maybe worse. But time will heal. That's cliche, but I swear it. things don't get to be cliche unless they're true most of the time.

Every relationship is a gamble. You invest yourself in it, and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work we find ourselves going through exactly what you are doing right now. But the emotion you will feel when it does pay off is ten times stronger than anything you've ever felt before and totally worth the risk.

I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone, and I hate to see you miss out on what could be an awesome, lifechanging experience foryou just because you're scared. I know it's frightening right now, but you can't let your fear run your life. so for now, take sometime for yourself. Lean on your friends, go out and do shit, DO NOT pin yourself up in your room. Also, don't call him. I'm assuming he broke up with you and if he did, there had to ahve been a reason, good or bad. If you are constantly calling him and all up in his grill, that pushes him further away and you sever any chance for a relationship.

Time. Time. Time. it really does heal all wounds.

I'll be thinking of you.

LAW

Steph

08-02-2005, 08:28 AM

I will reject anyone that attempts anything more than a friendship. I just feel that that is the best option for me. Single by choice is the only way I can really protect my heart.

I know you feel like this now but I don't think it's going to happen (I can see you being single forever if you were say, PF's age or something). Like the others have said, time heals all wounds. If it was meant to be, he will come back.

If not, I suggest a haircut, a night out with girlfriends (preferably with mud slides or white Russians or girlie drinks) & dancing with abandon.

lonelyarmywife

08-02-2005, 08:52 AM

^^^^^ Good advice - particularly the mudslide and dancing part.

qwerty

08-02-2005, 10:03 AM

Lilith

08-02-2005, 10:12 AM

^^^^^ Good advice - particularly the mudslide and dancing part.
have partaken of that therapy before ;)

Good friends want to protect eachother, it's natural.

Real love, the kind that stands the test of time and tribulations doesn't make you feel bad.

I'm sorry you are hurting. Locking away your heart to protect it won't work...without attention it will just shrivel up and become unusable. It's the act of taking a risk, even knowing that your heart could be smashed to smithereens, and entrusting it to someone that makes it beat stronger.

IAKaraokeGirl

08-02-2005, 10:14 AM

AV,

Every relationship is a gamble. You invest yourself in it, and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't work we find ourselves going through exactly what you are doing right now. But the emotion you will feel when it does pay off is ten times stronger than anything you've ever felt before and totally worth the risk.

*raises her hand and clears her throat*

AV, I won't repeat anything these very wise posters have written. Just know that LAW is right on the money, and that, as dark as things might seem right now, have faith...you might be surprised at what happens from here. I know I was, and that I like the me I am now a helluva lot better now than the me of six months ago. And, as shocked as *I've* been, I know there are many Pixies out there who can attest my turnaround. Just when you think there's no hope, a ray of light might come peeking through the clouds when you least expect it.

Every person who comes into our lives, no matter how brief the contact or deep the relationship, changes us and makes us the person we become in the future. Most often, those changes are for the better. Give it time...take it day by day, or take it minute by minute if you need to. What's meant to happen will happen.

Coaster

08-02-2005, 10:44 AM

Every person who comes into our lives, no matter how brief the contact or deep the relationship, changes us and makes us the person we become in the future. Most often, those changes are for the better. Give it time...take it day by day, or take it minute by minute if you need to. What's meant to happen will happen.

^^^^These are words I live by and can attest to! Doesn't help the pain, but at least they give a reason as to why things happen when they do! Only time heals the pain.... :hug:

Kaelynn

08-02-2005, 12:45 PM

AV the man simply needs time to figure himself out. He feels lost, confused, and worst of all he feels he has hurt you.

Kaelynn, friend or not this is one time you are likely to cause more problems than you are to help. Your wanting to "protect" AV makes you beat down the man she loves.
In doing so you:
A) Drive a wedge between yourself and her. (Even if she doesn't tell you)
B) Make it impossible for them to ever get back together.
C) Make the guy hate you.

AV don't listen to them about not talking to the guy. There is a difference between talking and begging him to come back. As long as you don't pressure him to come back everything will be fine. Keeping communication open is key in being able to salvage what you had.

Think about the entire relationship and decide if the good outweighed the bad. If it did then why should you give up? I would rather go down fighting than tuck tail between my legs and run. (Just be careful not to come across overly obsessive)

Well Welcome to Pixies qwerty, glad you decided to have your first post help a pixie in need.

I just would like to say a few things to defend myself. AV and I have a very close relationship and I am not trying to hurt her. At the begining of the post I told her to remember that her and him had problems so that this guy doesn't become her sun and earth. It happened to me, I started thinking I couldn't live without this guy, it's like I blocked out all the bad. I wanted to remind AV that there were troubled times and that she can stand without him she did before he was around. I also told her at the end that if the above advice was not to her liking she still needed to step back and look at the overall picture to see how she really felt about the situation. I will be the first to admit, I am still trying to figure out all the reasons of why they broke up. At times they fit together well, maybe more times than not, what matters is that I love her and if she is hurting I will do whatever it takes to take the hurt away.

The only thing that really matters is that we will be friends no matter what, she knows that I may come off harsh but I mean well. I love her and always have. A boy can not seperate us forever, thankfully.

If he hates me... So be it... I don't want to see her hurt any further... He is not my priority, She is.

I would like to say that I am not normally this harsh but when it comes to my AV, I will be. I don't mean this to be an attack on you, since you are a new member, again I welcome you to the pixie family. I just wanted you to know that AV and I have a personal relationship, more than just meeting on this board.

qwerty

08-02-2005, 02:09 PM

Kaelynn:
Firstly, just because I have posted only once doesn't mean I'm new to the boards.

Secondly... that's about all i can say to you without taking focus off the topic at hand for the time being.

AV:
Follow your heart. When things feel they are at the worst what is there to lose by trying?

Worst case scenario you never get back together. Don't let the relationship you say was the best you've had make you give up on all relationships.

Let me put it this way... It took you how many relationships to find this guy? Was all the previous heartbreak worth the time you had with him? If so, why isn't the chance for a little more heartbreak worth the chance of finding someone even better than him?

lonelyarmywife

08-02-2005, 02:25 PM

[QUOTE=qwerty]Kaelynn:
Firstly, just because I have posted only once doesn't mean I'm new to the boards.

[QUOTE]

Welcome as well. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been trolling on the boards? Just curious as to why you didn't post before now, that's all. I know the first time I saw anything I was hooked.

LAW

P.S. AV I hope today was a little better than yesterday.

Kaelynn

08-02-2005, 02:53 PM

Qwerty I think on this topic we can agree to disagree. I love her and that is all that matters.

AV I will call you later tonight so we can talk. You have always given me the best advice, sorry I don't always listen to you. I don't regret the mistakes I have made, we all need to live and learn. Just know that I will always support your decisions and I will always be standing behind you supporting and defending. Qwerty is right don't just focus on the bad, focus on everything, analyse how you feel, have felt, and decide what makes you happy and why. That is what you need to do.

You will make the best decision you always do, you are a much better person than I am and you always will be. More moral, impartial, and loving than I could ever be.

I will talk to you later!
~K~

Zephreck

08-02-2005, 07:39 PM

I just posted a long post here but to be honest sometimes the best advice you can give someone with a broken heart especially when you don't really know them is to simply say I am sorry and mean it genuinely. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. I dont know you well enough to give advice and so will simply wish you better times ahead with easier decisions....

Most of all I wish you gentler warmer days ahead. Days filled at least with loving friends and family around you. Days where you are able to see the beauty and positive qualities you as a person have and can be ready for hopefuly the right person in your life. Good luck with your healing process and sincere hugs here for you.

/bow

Zeph

flutelady

08-02-2005, 09:59 PM

AV- I am so sorry honey, to hear about your situation. I know how horrible a heartache can be, and I'm sorry you're having to endure it now.

I can't give you any advice but I can share a tiny bit of experience with you. I've lived for 49 years and had my share of hurts, disappointments, bullshit. There were times that I felt sure I wouldn't be able to handle it, didn't have the inner resources, the well was just too empty...

But I can honestly say that at some later point, I was able to look back at that hurtful experience and see that I was better off now for not being in the same boat I was in at the time... make sense? I know it sounds like a load of crap to you right now, it would to me too... but please hang in there and one of these days you'll see what I mean.

Also... AV? I agree that if you feel this man is "it", what have you got to lose by squaring your shoulders and laying your cards on the table? If it's worth having, it's worth fighting damn hard for!

((((AV))))

bare4you

08-03-2005, 07:35 PM

I don't know you very well AV - but we all have at one time or another been through what you are right now. Know that we are there for you and that you have loads of friends here you can talk with. I hesitated posting a reply for this thread only because we don't know each other - but felt compelled today to let you know you are in our thoughts.

lonelyarmywife

08-04-2005, 07:36 AM

Hey girlfriend, where you at? havn't heard from you in a couple days

Speak up and let us know how you are doing.

We care about you!!

AngelicVampires

08-04-2005, 08:39 PM

I appreciate all the support from each and every one of you. I am doing better than I was but I am still hopelessly in love with him. I just can't shake the feeling that he is "the one" for me. I know that that probably scares him but I am willing to give him all the time that he needs to be sure about me. I can understand that settling down with a person could be very overwhelming when that person isn't quite sure what they want out of life just yet. I will give him all the time in the world if need be. I also know that some people do not have the greatest opinion of him. That's ok as well. How they see him is different from how I see him. He is, overall, everything that I've wanted in a guy. We all have our ups and downs, all have our own battles to fight (sometimes with even ourselves), are not always understood by everyone, and not always realize what we need/want out of life to ensure our happiness. I've learned some things from this relationship. Some might not sound very good but here's what I've learned:

1. It's ok to be somewhat selfish. You gotta find what makes you happy and stick with it.
2. Compromise should not come from just one side.
3. Speaking your mind can be good or bad but the truth is always the best option.
4. Sometimes, hope is the only thing we have and it is worth keeping whether things pan out or not.
5. When you are really in love, you'll know it and not want to let go of it.
6. The small things in life really do matter just as much as the bigger things.
7. Doubt can be a murderer.
8. A lot can be said in a smile and even more can be said in tears.
9. Anything worth putting your heart into is worth fighting for.
10. Obsession only leads to more insecurity and worry.
11. Worry will not make you live any longer.

bare4you

08-04-2005, 08:50 PM

Very very insightful. Some people spend tons of money seeing a professional of one sort or the other, and you just gave advice that equals the wisdom one could gain from the pros. Time will heal and you will be the better person for this experience! :hug:

qwerty

08-04-2005, 09:03 PM

AV, any guy would be lucky have you as his girl. Hopefully your man figures out everything he needs to and is able to come back to you.

AngelicVampires

08-04-2005, 09:09 PM

I have faith that he will figure out what his heart really wants. He may not know it now, but he will see himself through my eyes in time. I have no doubts of that because so many people love him as he is. The world is his....all he has to do is reach out and seize it. He has a lot to be proud of yet he doesn't see things that way. He has my heart and my belief in him.

qwerty

08-04-2005, 09:18 PM

If all that is true it has to be hard for him to not reach out and seize you and let God sort the rest out.

AngelicVampires

08-04-2005, 09:31 PM

Both my heart and my mind tell me that it is true beyond all doubt. God will take care of things because He knows best. It took me a while to understand a lot of things...anything from faith/belief in God to anything dealing with love. Things come to pass for a reason and I am a willing student to learn from them all.

imaginewithme

08-05-2005, 02:01 PM

A much wiser Pixie once had the signature-
“Don’t cry because it ended. Smile because it happened. :)”

I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. I love what Pantyfanatic quoted above. I wish I had something magical to say to make you feel better, but unfortunately, I don't have the answers. I do know that for some reason, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we never know the real reason...it's not meant for us to figure out. I also know what it's like to love someone and loose them though and it is definately tough. However, I wish you wouldn't put a limit on yourself as to saying you'll reject anyone else that comes along. Maybe this person that comes along was meant for you...and is the reason. Who knows? Just keep the special memories close to your heart and don't let anything take them away...they are yours!

Keep your chin up!
IWM

dicksbro

08-05-2005, 04:58 PM

I'm also very sorry for the breakup, AV. We'll be thinking of you. Don't always know why things work the way they sometimes do, but I remain convinced that somehow, things will work out. God bless and take care.

DB

jennaflower

08-05-2005, 07:08 PM

I have scrolled past the above advice... with 100% certainty that each of them are worthy of your attention... and if you read them all... and closely you will discover that there is no wiser advice for me to offer.... they have covered it all...

I wish you well.... and urge you to remember that ALL of us are a product of our experiences... this experience has changed you... just as every experience you ever have will... allow yourself to grow with it...

Winston77

08-06-2005, 10:43 PM

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

I wish I wrote this but it was passed on to me by a freind and I thought I'd share it with you.
Time does heal
Peace!

AngelicVampires

08-08-2005, 06:05 PM

If all that is true it has to be hard for him to not reach out and seize you and let God sort the rest out.

Seizing me is probably hard for him to do....both his mind and his heart have to want to embrance everything about me at the same time. If that day ever comes and it lasts for a lifetime, I would ask for nothing else and be truly happy.

wanderingsoul

08-10-2005, 10:46 PM

Ok, as a guy who's actually met the guy in question, I can only say this, you are FAR better off without him. I have a friend in a similar position and it hurts me deeply to see both you and her go through this. The only advice I can offer is to follow your mind, your a smart girl, you procrastinate too much but who doesn't? What I'm saying is that you'll figure this one out. The mind and heart of a human are two of the most powerful things in the world. What is important is that you let your mind lead you as much as your heart does. Like I said, you're a smart girl, so let your mind lead the way for a while.

AV's Man

08-11-2005, 10:00 AM

Ok people I’ve been reading and I can’t sit back any longer and let people keep giving MY ex advice.

First of all wandering soul:
I don’t see where a bisexual, pot smoking, heavily medicated, guy such as yourself that only has been around me for about a week has any room to say she is FAR better off without me.

As for Kaelynn:
You are nothing but a slut that likes to give advice where it’s not wanted. Every chance you get you tell AV how bad I am and try to turn her against me. In the beginning this was making her want to get away from you but I defended you and said it didn’t bother me. You crossed a line when you lied to me. I have grown to hate you with a passion. I only act as nice around you as I do because I don’t want to ask AV to get you out of her life.

If the two of you knew half the story you would stop saying how horrible I am and grow up. I ONLY left AV because I didn’t feel I was being the man she deserved. I have always treated her with love, respect, and done all I could to make her happy. Sure just as anyone else I have my problems but unlike the two of you I seem to be working on them.

As for everyone else, you’re advice was well put and since you don’t know me or the situation I’m glad you look out for AV as you do.

It's been brought to my attention that this may be deleted because I sound vicious. Before doing this put yourself in my shoes, what would you do/say? Everything I have said is true and I should have the right to speak my mind just as anyone else. With that said do as you will.

lonelyarmywife

08-11-2005, 11:53 AM

whoo! son you have got some balls. what are you doing coming in here on your first post and calling people out. That's asking for trouble.

1) Apparantly, you have some issues with mr. wanderingsoul. that's fine, no body says you have to like everybody. But I find it a little ironic that you're trashing him going on and on about how he doesn't know you all the while, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM EITHER. You have spent no more time with him than he has with you. Both of you are passing judgement and it makes you both look like :ahole: Deal with that shit in PM's - that's why we have them.

2) Regarding your girl AV. Only one post on here has been attacking you, and we've discussed that in part 1. Everyone else has been trying to build up the girl that you say you are in love with. So don't come on here with an attitude when we are just trying to help. No one is cutting on you, no one is dogging you out, you don't need to get defensive. In fact, the other person you called out said in a previous post that you actually aren't too bad of a guy. We aren't interested in hurting you, we're interested in helping her. Or to paraphrase another Pixie - she is our priority, you are not. At least you weren't before you became a member.

3) and speaking of KAELYNN (and girlfriend, listen up, because I'm going to thump your nose a little here, too). You two apparantly don't get along. I've got some firthand experience with situations like this. The bottom line is that the two of you have got to be at least courteous to one another. No exceptions, no excuses. If you can't handle being courteous, then simply don't be around one another. But the fact is, the more you two bicker ans squabble, the more difficult you make life for AV. Do not name call, do not trash each other in public (what you do in private it your business) and do not bitch to her about how awful the other one is. That's why you have girlfriends and guyfriends. Bitch to them about it.

4) and 4, just to satisfy my own curiosity.
There is anothe member, qwerty, that has been very active in this thread. I suspect, MR. AV Man, that this is another alias for you, or it is someone you know well working for you. I could be wrong. But this motherfucker seems to have a very indepth knowledge of your situation and is all to eager to provide advice. And everytime, his advice is geared toward getting you and AV back together, or building you up. so I'm just curious - not passing judgement not pointing fingers. ARe you behind him?

Ok, so I've officially stuck my nose in where it doesn't belong, but i don't regret it. I think we are all working toward a common goal, and that is AV's ultimate happiness. However, SHE is the one who has to decide what makes her happy. The best thing you can do for right now is to back off and let her take the time that she needs to get herself together. That means no phone calls, emails, internet conversations and NO DEFENDING YOURSELF ON MESSAGE BOARDS YOU KNOW SHE READS! Let her contact you. I know it's hard, but it's for the best.

I hope I've managed to do this adult-like. If you're pissed, feel free to respond, preferably in PM's.

Sincerely,

LAW

P.S. one more thing. Please do not call my girl Kaelynn a slut in public again. I will not be as nice about it next time.

OhioGuy

08-11-2005, 01:25 PM

I'll make this short.

Every comment I made about wanderingsoul and Kaelynn is fact.

Kaelynn's comments and attacks are mostly offline.

AV is the one to contact me first every time we talk. She also read and approved me posting my post before I submitted it.

qwerty has been a member since Sep 2003. I didn't even know AV back then... how could I be a member of a site she introduced me to before I knew of it?

Lilith

08-11-2005, 03:54 PM

OhioGuy/AV'sMan~ since you are brand spanking new I'm going to make sure you understand that this is a no flame forum. I understand you are upset because advice was given to AV you don't think features you in a favorable light but flaming, name calling and disrespect will not be tolerated. When this thread was posted, you were not a member and so the members here posted regarding a stranger. You joined shortly after and while I can understand your feelings. Your post is inapropriate. Obviously this drama is personal and should be taken to PMs or messengers.

lonelyarmywife

08-11-2005, 04:01 PM

I'll take Lilith for the WIN! You get 'em boss!

this is in no way mean to perpetuate drama - IT'S A JOKE!

BigBear57

08-11-2005, 04:07 PM

Madame Lil rules, but I'm gaining more and more respect for LAW.. ain't she a peach?

lonelyarmywife

08-11-2005, 04:08 PM

Pear. Well, at least pear-shaped. :rofl:

BigBear57

08-11-2005, 04:09 PM

Pears are yummy too :slurp:

AngelicVampires

08-11-2005, 04:20 PM

I'm sorry for all the turmoil, both here at Pixie's and to everyone that I know personally. Trying to appease everyone is obviously not an option despite my best efforts. I've decided that I will step back and not play a ref in whatever battle is going on between Kaelynn and AV's Man. Whatever feud they have to settle they will have to do on their own. I agree with the "stop bitching about the other" thing. I feel that keeping everyone separate in both physical presence and words is the best way to go. I don't mind when people speak their mind because that is a right everyone should have. Everyone also has to like or dislike whoever they want...it's called freedom of choice. Now, even though some choices are made, they don't always need to be amplified and problems needs to be dealt with appropriately. Words are words, truth is truth and both are different to everyone. Things are always more difficult when emotions get added into the mix. He was right...I do always IM him first. As I've said before, I care about him and love him deeply.

What I am very glad about is that none of you told me to "control him." I've heard that before. Why should I control anybody at all? He is his own person and I should not be responsible for making sure he takes all his naps on time, eats a well balanced diet every day, or chew his food 50 times before swallowing.

What I am confused about is why most of you would like for me to either just stop talking to him for a while or to block him out of my life completely. If I blocked him out totally, that would resolve nothing and all my hopes get crushed. I am flattered that you are all looking for my to be happy, I really am. I also know that I am the only one that will be able to find that happiness. So I thank you all for your words of comfort and understanding.

Whatever choices we make in life are, no doubt, made because we believe they will make us happy (whether that be in the long run or just for the moment). Not all the choices that we make are right....we're human, we're going to mess up. It's when we mess up and don't learn anything from it that causes us major problems.

I will also stick to the old addage of "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." It's a simple message and one worth taking to heart.

Kaelynn

08-11-2005, 09:28 PM

As for Kaelynn:
You are nothing but a slut that likes to give advice where it’s not wanted. Every chance you get you tell AV how bad I am and try to turn her against me. In the beginning this was making her want to get away from you but I defended you and said it didn’t bother me. You crossed a line when you lied to me. I have grown to hate you with a passion. I only act as nice around you as I do because I don’t want to ask AV to get you out of her life.

If the two of you knew half the story you would stop saying how horrible I am and grow up. I ONLY left AV because I didn’t feel I was being the man she deserved. I have always treated her with love, respect, and done all I could to make her happy. Sure just as anyone else I have my problems but unlike the two of you I seem to be working on them.

Well thank you for being so mature... :rolleyes2

I am sorry you hate me I am sorry the feelings are returned. I also want to thank you for bringing all this to my attention. I am sorry that you feel that you had to do a favor for me. Don't you think it would have been best for AV to tell me how she felt, instead of the three of us forcing ourselves to get along? I mean if I am the true sorce of all the problems I could have been eliminated monthes ago. Next time don't lie and say something doesn't bug you when it obviously does.

AV all you had to do was tell me how you felt. You know I would and will do whatever you ask of me. If you wanted me out of your business you should have said something. If you wanted/want me out of your life... you got it...

I know I have learned a lot from this situation. I regret that AV and I ever made that pact to protect each other back in September, what a mess this has become. I hope both of you have learned as much as I have here today...

AV and AV's Man and whoever else you are on pixies, I wish you both all the happiness in the world and I truely hope each one of you find it. I wish someone would have brought all this to my attention monthes ago, the three of us wouldn't have had so much pain.

AV I will be here to listen... that is all I will do, I am truely sorry if I have hurt you or if I have destroyed your first true love. Hon I love you, you know where I am if you need me. I refuse to offer advice on this situation at hand any longer, and if you want me gone, like I said before... you got it.

*Takes a bow and leaves this thread*

AngelicVampires

08-13-2005, 08:36 PM

Why is everyone so....willing...and almost eager to just step out of my life? Surely I've never suggested or asked for such a thing. I am learning, however, that some things (and people) just need to be kept separate. It took me forever to figure out that not everyone will "play nice" with everyone else. I was very naive but I am learning. I am becoming a new me although I hope I don't lose the qualities that people like in me. I am learning that it is far better to speak one's mind than to keep everything bottled up. Yes, I know I've been told that over and over.....I just never saw the motivation/need to do so. After doing that for years...look at me. I became a nervous wreck, wanting to please everyone and becoming devestated when it all fell to pieces. My goodness, I've always been the first one to admit that I am not perfect. My wants are simple....I want to be loved by the ones that I love. I want to be happy. I've always been at the end of my rope and perhaps letting go of it is what I really need(ed). I've always worried about every little thing, whether I should or not. I really believe this is one of the reasons that I lost him in the first place (whether he admits/knows it or not). At times, I wish I could see into the future and at times I'm glad I can't. Sorry I keep pouring my heart out here to you guys but...I don't know. I can't just stop talking to him or block him out of my life....it wouldn't solve/fix anything and I really do hope that he and I end up together for the long run. We know that we have a lot of things to work on. I don't know.....I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that I love him....and that I hope that my hopes aren't shattered.

:(

fzzy

08-13-2005, 10:42 PM

(((((((AV)))))) Hope the pain starts to subside soon .... I think that is probably why some suggest that you don't contact him for awhile, to give yourself some time to heal .... different people heal in different ways, but a good number of us need time and distance to heal from such an event, however, it may not be the best choice for you (at least not at this time) .... hope you figure out what to do to feel the best you can during this time.

AngelicVampires

08-14-2005, 07:57 PM

My thanks to everyone for their support and caring. This thread is now dead to me. The only person that can help me is myself. Again, thank you all.

jolielefaye

08-15-2005, 07:43 PM

I was engaged once, but I caught him cheating on some twit... a bloody whore! He and I had been together for around three years and we owned a home together that was unfortunately in his name. I was unable to claim ownership and so I was left with nothing-- this was the thanks that I got for supporting his ass while he went out and gallivanted around! He claimed that I cheated on him first just because I came home late one night from work-- talk about stereotyping a profession! I am doing quite well now, but I understand how difficult men can be.

Crown Of Ivy

08-16-2008, 12:04 AM