Just a Thought...

[waltaja]

Maybe I'm just really drunk tonite...I dunno...granted many of you may just blow this off....

however....over the last little while, (and here is where there yelling comes in) things have taken a noticeable change around here. whether anyone wants to admit it or not, there have been certain changes. i'm not talking about the picture change policy garbage either (although people do seem to be hung up over that one).

when we have member like CGT taking off because they don't feel welcome, well it kind of makes one wonder. and don't get me wrong i now can see why she left.

so i guess what i am saying, and this will sound immature, but this board has became very immature. and it really makes no sense for me to say this. i know the hardcore pixier's will say, "what the fuck? no it's not." but it is.

in my year or so of active posting, i have never felt fully welcome. there seems to be little "cliques" if you will, and well hell, i have never fit into any of them. and looking back on things i'm kind of gald i never did. there are certain memebers here who i have had "frustrations" with (and i think they know who they are).

so i guess what i am saying is that i'm giving my resignation as a pixie. for those of you who actually cared to hear what i ever had to say, sorry for leaving. as for the rest of you. hell you won't even notice i am gone. CGT knew what she was doing when she left. she made a wise move in my opinion. i for one, was also sick of the America bashing that you all so lovingly try to hide and get out of. fact of the matter is "lovies," a lot of you try so hard to please everyone esle that you don't even make an attempt to stand for what you believe in. it's disgusting. have some pride once in awhile. it won't kill ya. if anything, you might piss someone off. who gives a fuck. quit trying to please the masses.

you folks try to live in "perfect" world where there are no "arguments" or "bashing." instead you try to use half ass and coy tactics to get your bashing across beacuse the 18 other joe blows are on the anti-Bush side.

thats fucked

Take care. Hope to stay in touch with the few pixies i actually enjoy talking too. you know where to find me.

waltaja

[FussyPucker]

Everyone on Pixies is free to come and go as they please....

It seems to me that someone will perceive a "change" on web forum when they realise that their own views aren't shared by others and are actually challanged.

It then finaly degrades into a tit for tat show of nothing. The people who don't like to have their views challanged move on and find a place that more suites their needs. Those who can stand the challange continue, in a sensible and adult manor, to discuss what they feel is important to them.

Everyone else carries on as normal because frankly it's just not THAT important.

[Fangtasia]

Pixies has 'changed' only because the people have....the old regs have moved on or chosen not to actively participate...dunno...their choice...there are new regs now...and with those new people come new ideals and a totally new Pixies generation

After 10 yrs as a member....I've seen it over and over...i've lived it over and over....and i've chosen to adapt to the new outlooks over and over

Some can adapt to change and some can't

As for people saying its cliquey here...well get over it...its no different than out there in the real world...push ya way in...make a spot for yourself...instead of sitting back and expecting to be accepted

If you feel the need to leave then i wish you well...but saying that Pixies is immature...blah toad turds *LOL*

[Steph]

fact of the matter is "lovies," a lot of you try so hard to please everyone esle that you don't even make an attempt to stand for what you believe in. it's disgusting. have some pride once in awhile. it won't kill ya. if anything, you might piss someone off. who gives a fuck. quit trying to please the masses.

you folks try to live in "perfect" world where there are no "arguments" or "bashing." instead you try to use half ass and coy tactics to get your bashing across beacuse the 18 other joe blows are on the anti-Bush side.

There are some contradictions and I'm genuinely curious. You talk about Bush bashers, then you talk about the anti-Bushers and yet the above is the most confusing. You want people to take a stand but then you're saying some people don't take a stand?

I'm assuming you have a problem with someone like me so I'm going to wade into this thread. Honestly "lovie" I only saw you posting lately and I dunno what to tell you. Some of us wouldn't get along in the real world nor will we here. Most of us found this site because we really like sex, we like erotica, we're kinky, we have fetishes, whatever. Sometimes politics come into it. Sometimes someone posts a question about plantains.

I'm not anti-American but I'm against this administration, no freaking question. There are lives at stake. Approximately 49 Iraqis died yesterday and while I'm not American, I do think I'm permitted to chime in and worry about the world on a message board.

The fact remains, it appears you've found love here so to leave with an apparent bad taste in your mouth is sad.

I'm always up for debate and things can get heated but I would hope all parties respect those involved.

[jseal]

waltaja,

Goodbye sir. It saddens me to see yet another Pixie leave, and for the same reason(s). I feel uncomfortable being part of what you can no longer enjoy, but I hope you enjoy wherever you go. I still believe that, with patience, you could have found a place here.

Good luck!

[GingerV]

Must be spring.

I've messed about with online communities of one stripe or another since college (for those doing the math...that's about 14 years). And the first couple of times I saw this sort of thing, I was seriously upset. Deeply traumatized. Guilty about nothing I'd actually done, worried about the future of my online home...seriously contemplated leaving myself.

But ALWAYS it goes back to normal. Never exactly the same. But back to normal. And while I have missed people who quietly faded away or who left a cryptic message just so their friends would know they were leaving, I've never felt the loss of someone who set off a big "you all suck" bomb on the way out the door.

But about the clique thing (not assuming that waltaja sees this...just that it may be something preying on other less-vocal members), I'm shocked how often I see the accusation. And while I'm sure it can be true....it oh so frequently isn't. Hell, I know there are tight friendships on here, I know there are people who are more outgoing and participate freely from the off, I know there are people who can dedicate more time or spend hours in chat, I know there are in jokes, and that not everyone puts as much effort into drawing out the new kids as some of the new kids might want.

But I also know this. There's a sneaky little piece of me that feels like an outsider everywhere I go. That piece feels like an outsider here...and this is one of the most friendly and accepting places I've ever found online! It's the piece that, were I so inclined, would feel rejected by the mythic "Pixies clique". It takes an act of God to make me feel like I belong somewhere, and I know that about myself. As an adult, it's something I simply understand about myself...and do my best to ignore. It's not something done to me, it's something I brought to the party.

And I am SO not alone in that. There are loads of people who feel alone and rejected no matter HOW open or welcoming the crowd. They just don't realize they brought it with them. They don't want the responsibility, they want to blame others for their discomfort. So they see cliques and rejection where there are only old friendships and long history. Literally nothing the Pixieites could have done would have made such a person feel like part of the clique, you can't gift anyone with the patina of a long-held friend. And sometimes I don't think even that would be enough.

Which is way more than my fair 2cents....but I just wanted to tell everyone to simmer the hell down, the dust'll clear. Those who stay will want to be here, those who don't won't and that's really the whole of it. This is not now nor was it EVER about politics. That's just the sore spot that it's getting blamed on. I'm off to keep packing my life into boxes, and to keep my head down until the nonsense goes away and we can go back to having fun. Cause I'm 120% sure that's where it'll all be back to this time next week.

G

[PantyFanatic]

What she^^^ said. :rolleyes2















THANK YOU GingerV :x:

[Booger]

I keep hearing poeple talk about Bush bashing being anti American. But most of the Bush bashing I have seen is being done by the Americans here.

[jseal]

...After 10 yrs as a member...

Alassë,

Wow! That is one long time member - congratulations! :thumb: You must have seen some serious changes over the years.

[Cheyanne]

Well - I am staying! I love it here, I have made friends here... I have elbowed my way into this place and I am damn well staying.... Like those before me said, people have come and gone because this place changed, or no longer suited them. So be it - that is their choice. However, there are many here who like this place changes and all! The only thing that is immature is the way some people choose to leave by bashing and finger pointing and blaming others for their choice.

If you don't like it here and feel the need to, as it was said prior, to set off the bomb of this place sucks and leave - well then, don't let the door hit ya on the ass on your way out!

[Pita]

Right on Cheyanne :thumb: I'm staying too! I have many message boards I play on and everyone has it's own personality and that changes with the people. It's up to you the member to find your niche. I liked this place from day one and wanted to be a part of it so I got to posting so people could get to know me and me them.

I have been absent a lot lately due to my own personal issues but when I come back I am warmly greeted by friends and just jump back into the topics.

I never did get the drama of making a thread to tear down people who don't even really know. You don't like it just leave. If you do like it then stay. It's really not that complicated.

[Cobalt]

Life is changes, some good, some bad. That is life and how we evolve to become better (at least that is everyones goal). I am stubern on change but I have to deal with it, it is life and I adjust. Change usually sucks at first, it make us come out of our comfort zone and human nature is we don't like to get out of our comfort zone. You either have to deal with it or get away from it, )till it catches up to you). Just be an adult about it and deal with it, quietly. :box:

[AZRedHot]

It has been interesting to me to read the threads about CGT, and now Waltaja and CherryPie7788.

I don't know about Pixies being cliquish. I've been a member about a year and a half, and have felt welcome. I am not as active on the board as I once was, but that's my deal, not because I didn't feel like I belonged. I know that if I made myself more of a presence here, I would feel more involved. In that, I echo GingerV, who makes excellent points about what we bring with us. Right on, Ginger! Truth is, I have met some very, very dear friends here, and some really wonderful acquaintances. I have no complaints. And there is a handful of folks that keep this place going with their dedicated activity, the keepers of the Pixie fire, and I appreciate that.

It is human nature to vote with your feet, and when things don't suit you, you have a couple of choices. You can stay and do what you can to make a place you've come to love a place you want to stay loving, or you can walk away. Critical parting shots are meant only to hurt, throwing big rocks as you scamper away out of reach of confrontation. If you really wanted things to be better, you'd be diplomatic and start a real discussion. If you were really fed up, you'd just go because you'd made up your mind. No point in salting the earth when you do.

In any case, I plan to stick around. I love a place where we can share our pervy selves, give and take advice about moving, things that make us laugh and cry, and where people take the time to make sure our British Pixies are okay, even though we have never met in person.

[Oldfart]

AZRedHot

Just the Brits?

Should I be grumping for being outside that clique?

Seriously, people who see cliques actively excluding people are just giving form

to their own fears and paranoia.

I am one of the longest serving Pixie troopers here and I have never felt that I am

part of a tight little group. There are a half dozen here who I call friend, and a few

more who are damn fine acquaintances who will one day slip over the line.

Anyone who comes into my haunt and shares the spirit is welcome in my book,

but any who jump in and try to own the place in 10 seconds may feel a little reproof.

People either settle in or not, their choice, our loss or gain.

Wasn't that a big 2cents?

[AZRedHot]

AZRedHot

Just the Brits?



No, Oldfart. :) But it seemed to me that the London bombings thread was what brought much of this to a head, particularly in the case of CGT. That list of examples was not meant to be all-inclusive by any means. Were I to make a list of the positives of this bulletin board, and the acts of kindness and caring between members (so to speak ;) ), well, it would be not only longer than my arm, but longer than my very long legs.

[Loulabelle]

You guys are all great....you've said everything I was gonna say here, so I'm not going to bother.

I love you all.

Even the ones who don't love me because I happen to think that war is a bad thing. :D

[Teddy Bear]

Life is constantly changing. And Pixies, being made up of real people from the real world is going to experience change too. People can either adapt to the changes and accept them or not. Many, myself included, choose to take a little time away to adjust. When I return I find its still the same Pixies it always was, just different names and faces.

This is still the nicest place on the net. It'd be wonderful to think everything was always fantastic but thats not realistic. Thank you to all of you who make Pixies what it is: a gathering of liked minded folk where we can perv, laugh, ask advice, show support for people we've never met, disagree, have fun and stay or go if we no longer fit in.

(((((Pixies)))))

[lonelyarmywife]

Look, anyone that feels this joint is immature and clique-ish, WAKE UP! You obviously have no clue how bad it could be. I've moderated message boards where all people did was snip, gripe, bitch, piss, moan, whine, snipe, get their panties in a twist and work themselves into a snit. It gets old and retarded really fucking quick. people would make blantently rude posts for only one purpose - starting drama. Everyone on this board should thank your lucky stars that pixie's is not an online community that thrives on bullshit. If it's cliqueish, well tough shit. That what the world is - cliques. Find a clique and make a place for yourself - or be a loner. Either are acceptable. I have met very few people on here that will treat you with disrespect. Almost everyone will take your posts into consideration, even if they don't agree with what you have to say. I don't feel like I have any lifelong friends on here, and i certainly don't feel like I"M in the "inner circle." But guess what - I continue to post, sometimes just to get attention, I'll admit it. But usually it's out of genuine concearn for the Pixie's involved or because I need to vent, or i need an objective perspective of thigns. I have no need to be in the inner circle, becasue i'm secure with myself and my opinions. I will continue to post my thoughts, and I will continue to respect everyone else's thoughts, even though i might come across slightly harsh at times.

And SPEAKING of opinions...i hate to add fuel to the fire, but i feel like i might as well bring it up, since the issue is being addressed indirectly in alot of threads lately. Mr. Bush.
Now, I truly feel like I started a bunch of crap with my thread regarding my husband's contract extension with the army, and I'm sorry for that. I knew when i started it that people would have strong opinions about it, but when you're at home alone all day without no one to talk to, sometimes you just need to vent, and this is where I chose to do it. Apparantly some of the opinions that i shared are not shared by everyone on this site and that's ok. But the great thing about living in a country like the one I live in is that I CAN have those opinions, and YOU can have a different one - isn't that neat?
I stand by what I said about our administration in that thread. I will not back down from it without reason, I will not deny having said it. It doesn't make me AntiAmerican, it doesn't make me a terrorist. It makes me informed, and it makes me opnionated. I welcome everyone to debate with informed, respectful opinions - whether they are American, British, Austrailian, Canadian, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, black, white, yellow, or a little green man from Mars.

i guess what i'm saying is that if you are leaving because you can't take the heat, then it's probably best that you get out of the kitchen. I'm sorry that you feel your thoughts are invalid here, but I truly believe that, perhaps, your perception is skewed.

I sincerly think all this drama is just one big miscommunication.

The End - LAW

[osuche]

You know.....I think it's time for a group hug. :D

[Coaster]

You know.....I think it's time for a group hug. :D


Here here....... and start it here!

waltaja, I think you summed up your reasoning in your first sentence!

Good luck to you.......... and try to enjoy LIFE!

[Booger]

BTW Bush bashing is not anti American if fact being able to voice our dislike for our leader is on of the things that makes this country so great. there have been and still are a lot of countries where you can be locked up if you say something against the goverment.

[RandyGal]

Hm...lemme think here........GingerV, TinglingTess and uh.....lonelyarmywife made all the points I would have.


Go back and read their posts again, if ya don't mind. :p

I'm one who comes and goes, in and out, mostly out for the past year or more......but I'm always welcomed and FEEL welcome here. Anyway, too tired to type much but thanks to GingerV, TT and lonelywife, I won't have to. LOL


I wish you well at whatever site you end up. This is a nice home but sometimes the fit just isn't right for some reason. :)



.

[fzzy]

I hear the comments .... I think I'm much like GingerV ... I bring my own issues to my place in this forum .... I've been confronted with cliques most of my life in one form or another ... at 47 yrs of age, I've come to accept that has to do with the way we humans socialize ... if there's more than 3 people involved, then a heirchy seems to form .... you can accept it, you can work to change it from within or you may choose to walk away from it .... For the most part I tend to combine the first and second of those options ... I accept that each of us will pick and choose who we allow into our emotional proximity .... and the closer we allow them to be, the pickier we are likely to be about who they are and how they are. Pixies is a very large group of members .... for the most part only 1-2% are really active at any given time ... but that still means 100-200 people ... which is still a fairly significant number of people to deal with in a social situation. I share certain things in common with almost all of the people of pixies ... I am a member, I am a human, I am a sexual and sensual being..... after that I think we have more individualities ...

Sorry that some feel the need to leave, but that being the case, I wish you well in your life journey and hope you find happiness on the path you choose.

[moose]

I have been a pixies member since last year but I have been reading pixies for some time before I joined, I am sorry to see anyone leave a community because the don’t agree with another members opinion, after all if we all had the same opinions and beliefs we would just be robots and this would be "tin can place" and not "pixies". And for the record I have always felt welcome here and thank everyone for that.

[maddy]

oh boy! I can't help but say this... as this is the THIRD thread I'm reading on the same topic ... but ever notice how those that make the biggest production about leaving always resurface?