Meeting people

[wanderingsoul]

Okay, pretty much all my life I've lived in the country. Also, I've been EXTREMELY introverted the majority of my life, disabling so actually. Then I go up and help kaelynn move out for the summer and it was completely different. There, I had conversations and smoke breaks on a regular basis with people literally 24hrs a day. I went from being so introverted I couldn't even finish high school or hold a job to making friends by the handfuls and desperately seeking some human interaction.

Since I've gotten back from ohio, I have been going fucking ape shit! Where the hell is everybody!?!?! Where I'm at, there's basically no body around my age or at least I don't know about them. And that's the problem. The days of me just rotting away at home are over. I've been busy as hell for weeks on end now and I love it. The problem is, out of all the stuff I'm doing, nothing is giving me the opportunity to meet people.

I'm not looking for a regular job right now. My uncle and cousin have more than enough work to keep me busy for as long as I'm willing to look into the future that is. I at some point want to go to some community colleges to get some classes for electrical, trim carpentry, etc under my belt. But any type of college cost money, usually lots of it. Right now, money is anything but at a surplus. I'm planning on checking out some parties at the local college but I gotta wait for the summer to end for that.

My basic question is, in a situation like mine how in the hell am I supposed to meet people? I've thought of damn near everything. I don't want to be this freaky dude just hanging out at a college I don't even attend looking for people to talk to.

The reason I'm like this is mainly because of my upbringing. My family and I are quiet people and we keep to ourselves. That's how everybody I've ever known has been. I mean I never even had sleepovers or anything. Transportation has always been a problem and so I just adapted to the idea of friends at school and family at home. Well now that I'm not in school any more and was uncapabale of making any friends while there, what the hell do I do now?

All I ask is for you to be gentle and paitient. It seems that in growing up, everyone but me learned how to talk to people and make friends and stuff. Well I gotta learn sometime so why wait? Thanks for any and all your help.

[fzzy]

You might check and see if they do adult education classes in your local school district .... most of those cost a very minimal teacher fee and the cost of materials .... call the local high school and see if they can give you info on something along those lines .... then see what they offer and find something you think would be interesting ... that should give you a chance to get out at least once a week or so and meet with others with similar interests to what you have. You might also check if there is a local YMCA ... call and tell them your situation and ask if they might have suggestions for groups in the area that you could investigate and possibly join.

If all else fails, check into some of the local charities and see if you could volunteer (for a few hours a week) at something that would allow you some time to meet others .... there are all kinds of organizations that you can volunteer with ...

Best of luck in your search!!!

[Cjack]

The best way to grow up is to get away from the family. They don't need to be taking care of you at your age. Get your own job and do some "Net working". Soon you will have plenty of friends.
:jump:

[GingerV]

It's great that your uncle and cousin can keep you busy, but getting a job away from family could be a great way to meet new people.

Other than that, I really just wanted to applaud you on your new attitude...you sound like you're doing great, really taking control. Fizzy gave you some great suggestions, hope they work out for you!

[wanderingsoul]

Okay Orange County High School is like one of those schools that literally hasn't changed in 50 years or so. If fact, my grandmother went to the same high school which is the same building now there. Because of the location of the school, there's only like 1 community college in like 50 miles or so. Because the school is so short staffed and everything they now just take all the trouble makers and everything and throw them into an after school program. So any spaces or teachers that they had available for something that is already taken. Not to mention OCHS is famous for a little thing called jail bait.

I've lived basically in c'ville all my life and me nor my family know of any YMCA's around here. It totally sucks.

I've tried volunteering at all the local libraries and everything and I was told two things. One, any volunteer positions that they have available are already taken by either school age kids or senior citizens. There's actually a waiting list to be a volunteer book shelver, can you believe that? Two, with my mental history, they basically told me flat out that I'm not the least bit welcome unless I can come up with some type of refrences, which I can't.

The thing about working is, I want to work some type of construction and the only people I will likely run into is middle aged guys with a mile deep plumbers crack. So I seriously doubt that I'd run into any girls or guys that are anywhere close to my age.

I'm planning on just doing some searches just to find out what kind of education courses are available around here. I for like the first time ever wish that I could actually afford to just stay in college, try a little of everything, and party every night of the week. You ever seen van wilder - I actually want that now!

I'm a member of this thing called OkCupid which is basically just a free people place type thing. But there's not too many members in driving distance and those who are I either am or have talken to them by now. There's not a whole lot who really are what I'm looking for.

If anyone has any experience with other people finder places (like adultpersonals.com or something) but that are actually free to the point of actually being able to talk to people without upgrading.

Thanks everyone and wish me luck.




Update:
Did a search on www.search4college.com and got nada. One of the reasons I want to go construction is there's a good chance I won't need to get my GED before taking those classes. Electrical and electronics have always intrested me but a GED is most definitely a requirement for that. I really don't want to have to get my ged, I've got a lot of common sense but with me missing so much school because of my mental problems and everything I missed out on all the basics. For me getting my GED is like trying to write a book without knowing all of the alphabet. It sucks.

[fzzy]

Getting your GED is something you should look into .... especially if you want to go to college ... I haven't tried getting into college for several years, but assume the requirements have only increased .... and in my day you had to have a hs diploma or a GED .... at least to attend and get credit for the classes ... you could however ask any comm college about attending a class or two without getting any credit ...

I didn't mention this the first time, cause from what I've read, I don't know that it would fall under what you have an interest in ... but you could check with local churches to see if they have any groups for those in your age range to meet and mingle ... ask some questions so they understand that you aren't necessarily interested in joining their church ...

Do you know a couple of people close by in your same age range ... maybe contact them and set up a monthly meet and greet with them and others they know .... have everyone invite at least two more people and see how many turn out for the first couple of times .... start out at a local park on a Saturday afternoon or something - pot luck. It may be that you would become the best guy around to a lot of people if there is no other socializing currently happening ... again, best of luck!

[Lilith]

One of the areas I have an interest in is GED education. Most community colleges or vo-tech schools offer courses designed to support learners who are more likely to be successful in a less populated, shortened, semester. If you call you may find that they offer a short refresher class to help solidify the skills you may have missed out on. With a GED you would be accepted at any Jr or community college.

[fredchabotnick]

Good luck! Keep that attitude and don't be afraid to try new things and you will meet people. It may be hard and take a while, but it can happen.

[maddy]

If you have a Home Depot or Lowe's in your area ... check out the do it yourself clinics they hold... they are typically free or cheap. It might help you learn a few things, and likely there will be other people there for you to interact with. I know you say you aren't looking for a job right now, but picking up a part time at a hardware store might be a good place to find people who share some of your interests.

[maddy]

OH! And if you have a Habitat for Humanity in your area ... it would be a great opportunity. I know WildIrish is very actively involved, he might be able to give you pointers.

[RandyGal]

There are a lot of wicked wonderful suggestions here so I don't have much to add.

I just wanted to commend you though, on your good outlook and attitude. Yes, it'll be a bit of a struggle initially, but keep walking forward into your future. I've seen some wonderful things happen in the lives of the loved ones I know....they were so lost for such a long time, and with mental problems as well. But they hung in there and didn't lose hope....

I wish you all the best in your endeavours!!

[wanderingsoul]

Thanks for all the advice y'all. To be honest, I've been thinking a lot about the military lately. I know I'd need to get a GED for that and to be completely honest I don't know if they'd let me in even if I wanted to. But it's something to think about.

It's really hard ya know, I literally don't know ANYONE around here. If I could just meet a couple people near by it'd be all downhill from there. Thanks again and I'm going to keep the mindset going.

[bare4you]

For me - the Air Force was a God-send. Going into the military now though is a whole lot different than it was back in the early 70s. The Army might be the best bet if you need the GED. If I had to do it over again, I would have been leaning more towards the Navy or Coast Guard. Volunteer work is a great way to meet people plus it will give you the chance to work on some other skills you may not realize you have right now. Good luck and keep us posted.

[wanderingsoul]

Well basically, I don't think i could go into the military even if i wanted so right now I'm just planning on getting my ged at some community college. Hopefulyy I'll meet some people there