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[Galatea]

Okay, this isn't like sex advice or anything but I need to figure something out and I know you kids are good at brainstorming and helping solve problems.

I have 2 dogs and a Kaylee (a 4 year old). This is not a good mixture for a happy household. And since I can't give the 4 year old away I have to do something about the other two. And I LOVE my puppies (one is a 2 year old male rat terrier and the other is an 11 year old male cocker spaniel) so this is a hard decision to come to. I want to cry just thinking about it.

Both of them are such good dogs but she is so mean that I can't keep them in the same room anymore. My problem is that they both are 'handicapped'. The cockerspaniel has cataracts in both eyes. One is so bad that his iris is white. The rat terrier is blind in one eye from being stung by a wasp about a year ago and that eye is smaller and deformed now. Also the cockerspaniel has a malignant tumor under his belly that is very gross looking and the rat terrier has sensitive skin that makes his skin flake and turn red unless you bathe him with sulfodene. Thus, they aren't 'attractive' for someone to take.

So, how can I get someone to take these dogs before she kills them without taking them to a shelter where they may get put to sleep if no one takes them? I've tried putting them in the classifieds but never got any callbacks.

I feel like I'm giving away my children and having to work this hard to get rid of them makes me feel even worse. I have tried all I can to stop my little girl from abusing them but for the last 6 months, the second my back is turned she is doing something else to one of them. Help!

[Fangtasia]

Well i'm a bit of a tough nut when it comes to animals....i love em dearly dont get me wrong...but

Realistically most arent going to take an animal with health problems...there are just too many animals available that do not require the specialist care that your spaniel and terrier do, unfortunately the spaniels age is against him too...if they were mine (which i know they're not) i'd have them humanely euthanised

As much as it would pain you to do the above...euthansia is (to me) more preferable than someone taking one or both and not giving them the love and care you obviously give them

[GingerV]

I have known rare but wonderful animal shelters (not government run, I imagine, but I'm not 100% sure on that) with a policy against euthanising animals unless medically required. That is, they won't just kill your darlings after a certain specified amount of time. I have no idea where you are, or if there's one near you, but if you google up your area with "no kill" animal shelters you might find one. Because of their policy, though, they can only take a certain number of animals. Still, they'd be a great source for ideas and options.

[Lilith]

Another thought is that by 4, it's not acceptable for a child to be harming (to the point of your needing to remove them to save them) pets. I'd concentrate my efforts on that first. I know you said you've tried but IMO this is not an area where you can afford to fail. Seek intervention or parenting help if necessary.

You could look for a foster situation. If you call the pound they may be able to tell you who does that in your area.

[Cheyanne]

I agree with Lil on this one...the behavior must stop - and sometimes it is easier said than done - but teaching your daughter to not harm pets now will enable her to socialize better with other children in the future. Also...will it be the pet's fault if suddenly one of them gets sick of being picked on and hurt and takes a bite out of the child???? To be frank, I wouldn't blame the pet, but why take the chance? Teach her to behave.....

[Cheyanne]

http://www.zerotothree.org/help.html
http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/teaching_children_to_be_kind_to_animals.html

A couple of links to give you some additional ideas....

[Incubus255]

I must agree with lil as well , although my first thoughts went to the dogs, it does seem strange to me taht a four year old could be that destructive, I mean this is a child that is going to be starting school next year and be with alot of other kids *assume you guys start at age five around there as well lol*

Now don't get me wrong I'm certainly not trying to come across as bashing your parental methods or anything like that , but it seems to me that if she can't get along with sick animals that it's pretty easy to foresee problems with other children in the future , so I'd definatly say the best idea is to focus on what is causing her to hurt them? Otherwise I think you'd be running into the same situation shortly down the road with the other children, and at that time it won't be an option to remove them

As to how to go about finding the cause of the problem that I can't help ya with mainly cuz I don't even know what you've tried so far and boy do I know kids can be hard to pry information out of if they don't feel like talking lol

Either way though I do wish ya the best of luck in things, keep us posted on whats going on

[Galatea]

Thanks everyone for the advice so far. I suppose I should have worded a little different what she is doing. I didn't mean "MEAN" as in agressively mean. Now that I read it it sounds like she's a little monster.

She doesn't do it to be mean MOST of the time. Especially the smallest one. She loves him to pieces and thats the problem. She carries him everywhere, 'dances' with him by swinging him around by his front paws. I have tried to explain that they don't like to be carried, picked up, ridden on, danced with, or all of those other activities she loves and drive them insane. Day in and day out. I have shown her how they like to be petted, taken away privledges, seperated her from them, put her in the corner but when she comes out it is a bee line back for them.

She's not showing much agression toward them. Its more like playful destruction. She does hit them if they growl at her and I think thats where it escalates because she hits them with whatever is handy, a brush, a broom, her hand, a shoe, whatever. I think that they have gotten afraid of being hit which makes them growl which makes her hit. Its one of those chicken or egg issues. I don't know if they started growling first or she started hitting.

And she is nothing like this around other children. Her preschool teachers have always bragged about how well mannered and good natured she is. She is extremely friendly and doesn't meet someone she doesn't like. Maybe she's jealous because I brought them into the house after her and she may feel like she has to share her parents affection now?

As for the euthanasia issue, I couldn't put down 2 perfectly healthy animals because I am tired of the fight. And they are both perfectly healthy other than a little cosmetic problem. They just have eyesight limited to one eye and thats not even that bad because it doesn't stop either of them. Even the 11 year old has a clean bill of health and the vet says he could live another 5-8 more years. I will just continue to try to keep them apart until hopefully one day someone will want them or she goes to college and continue to pull my hair out until I can get them all to get along.

OH! and I've looked into no kill shelters in my area and there are none whatsoever in Mississippi. The closest one is in TN and it has a waiting list.

[maddy]

If you have a PetsMart or Petco nearby I'd ask them if they can do anything for you - maybe they have a place to post "free" advertisements. I'd also check with a few vets in the area, or an animal hospital and see if there is anything they can do for your quest to find a happy home for the pets. I'd also check with your local SPCA or Humane Society, they may know of a no-kill shelter that you haven't come across yet.

I know when I had to get rid of my dog as a child due to a move and his aggressiveness, as my father dropped him at the Humane Society, a farmer came in looking for a "protector" for his milkhouse. It was a perfect match. My "Spot" never even made it in the door to be registered. He went right home with the farmer.

Also, as a last alternative, perhaps there's an elderly pet program in your area. I've seen various shows on tv where they speak of taking "unwanted" pets to the homes of elderly who want a lower activity pet to be a companion....

[BIBI]

Dogs are not toys. Sounds like your girl needs to learn that the dogs are not her toys. Maybe it's not too late to teach her this. It will take time patience and dedication for you to change her behaviours towards your pets. With kids and pets the parameters have to be set from the start and adhered to with no exceptions.

Someday she may approach the wrong doggy to play with and end up seriously hurt. Let's hope you can instill a respect for animals before she gets herself hurt or hurts a dog. If they are growling at her, I would bet that their patience is getting near the end and one day they may bite her and it wouldn't be their fault at all.....

If nothing else until you can find someone to help you out maybe you could keep her away from the dogs by placing them in a separate part of the house. Let her spend time with them only when you can supervise her and take them away as a punishment to her if she doesn't follow the rules you set in place for her.

[Mark Vieth]

I have to agree with BIBI on this. I have a 6 year old boy and I don't have any pets but when/if I get a pet, the first thing I will be doing is explaining certain things to him about how to treat the pet. If he doesn't do as he is told or forgets what has been said to him, then I'd take the necessary steps to make sure that he understands that his actions have equal reactions. Law of physics here. If your little girl continues one of the two dogs will take a bite out of her and frankly I wouldn't blame the dog nor would I have it terminated as a result.

Sometimes the only way kids learn is the hard way.