common courtesy

[wyndhy]

where did it go?

the thank yous, you’re welcomes and general acknowledgements of friendly gestures---seems they’ve been slowly disappearing and i wonder why.

does anyone else think that manners have gone by the wayside?

[Lilith]

It is one of the best things about living in the south...most of the time, people are still friendly and mannerly. It's a big hairy deal to me. My kids do such a good job of being polite and gracious. I talk to them about being chivalrous. If we as parents don't step up and try to make it important again then it will be lost.

[wyndhy]

yep. just like we do our letters and numbers every day, we talk about manners and courtesy, too.

[WildIrish]

Being courteous is a huge pet peeve of mine. When someone's behind you, you hold the door for them. And when someone does that for you, you thank them. I must hold the door 30 times a day and I can't tell you how many times people just walk right through without even a passing glance, like it's my job. Hell, even if it were my job...is there anthing wrong with a thank you?

I try so hard to instill that in my kids. It's tough raising them like that when so few others care enough to also.

[maddy]

I had always though the midwest was polite and courteous, until I moved to the South... I try to be polite, but sometimes my rushed ways get the best of me. It was pointed out by some Europeans that Americans have a terrible habit. Say for example, I hold the door open for someone and they respond with a "thanks", we tend to say "uh-huh", rather than "you're welcome". I cringe now everytime I find myself saying "uh-huh" when someone says "thanks" or "thank you". Of course the European interpretation of an American "uh-huh" was entertaining and made us all look like slobbish idiots. But hey, if it's their impression, I'll do what I can to fix it.

[cherrypie7788]

I agree with you, Lilith, about the South. That's another reason I love it so much here.

Men still hold the door for us most of the time here, at least that's my experience. People still say "please" and "thank you" and "you're welcome", and everyone is friendly. Women are respected.

I think it's still slowly changing here, too, however :( People aren't teaching their kids the same manners that we were taught.

Teenage boys seem to be the worst about it, maybe it's because they're clumsy and still learning the ropes, but in all my teenage years I've only dated one boy who opened the car doors for me, opened other doors, insisted that I take his jacket etc etc. If I have a son I hope I can teach him better, and hats off to you parents who are teaching your children better. More people should.

[sodaklostsoul]

I held the door open one time for a little old lady, she was shocked!!! Kept telling me thank you.........ended up leaving about the same time from the store and a young male, maybe about 20, in front of her just let the door go and it smacked her. I ran up and opened it for her and then went out and yelled and the dude to respect his elders. He gave me this deer in head lights look and I told him I hope he treats his grandmother better then this poor lady. I felt so bad for her I walked her to her car.


My daughter (8) likes to help people. Sometimes she is shy in saying thank you, but she will always hold the door open and pick up things people dropped for them.

[wyndhy]

i'm always shocked when a stranger holds the door open for me. the other day we were coming out of the library and the peson (no more than three steps) in front of me let the door slam back right into the stroller. baby's crying, books scattered everwhere---they just kept walking. didn't even look back and there is no way they couldn't have known.

[WildIrish]

I think it's still slowly changing here, too, however :(



Must be all the damn Yankees! :mad:



:D

[mayhem1978]

i wish parents would teach kids manners. I see it every day on the busses. THey get on, chuck their money in like its a major effort and walk off. Then when they get off they usually hurl abuse at each other, use the emergancy buttons to close the doors on each other. The one even pressed it to close the door and trapped an old lady in them then when she called after him he just swore at her and ran off.

BUT there are those that are well brought up and always say thank you. There aint many about but they are there.

[Irish]

I think that alot of it,depends on the way you were brought up by your
parents.I was amazed recently,when exiting from a store,I held the door,
for an old lady.She said Thank-You,nobody ever does that anymore.In my
opinion,it's too bad that nobody does.I was brought up that way.Evidently,
things have changed! Irish

[Steph]

We don't do courtesy too often in the big city. It's so densely populated that new rules apply -- get out of the way of the quick, the strong, the aggressive.

If the subway doors are opening, PLEASE get out of the way to let people off the car before you get on (same rules apply to elevators).

I was on the subway the other day and an elderly woman got on. Before I could give up my seat, a big dude (yes, he was black & dressed in "gangsta attire") jumped up to offer his.

Maybe courtesy has gone by the wayside to make me notice that but I dunno. A big ol' tough guy giving up his seat automatically brought a tear to my eye.

[Dubblz]

The death of manners was the birth of road rage is what I think on this,lol..It all leads back to just being a little considerate though..Nowadays though,at least around here,lol,people don't really expect you to do anything considerate..I opened the door for a lady once,and she informed me she was married..I dunno,maybe I shouldn't have had my tongue hanging out..jk..I was taught to ALWAYS open doors,and be thankfull when someone was considerate to me,and I always passed that along..If ya make someone smile everyday,you had a good day,and maybe they did too..

[fzzy]

Yes, I think in many places (at least here in the US - don't know about the rest of the world cause I haven't spent much time outside the states) the common courtesy things seem to be disappearing from our culture. I try to make sure that I am not included in that group as often as I possibly can ... it is a wonderful thing to bring joy to others by simply observing some courtesy ... "thank you", "please", "you're welcome" ... holding doors, smiling and looking people in the eyes when you pass them ... little things really do mean a lot to us when someone takes the time to do it ... I'm grateful that I get to do those things!

[Oldfart]

I have two takes here.

Manners are dying because we have a new generation who are so self-absorbed that

anything ouside their personal space is irrelevant. A lady fell over in a shopping centre

here and it took about two minutes for some-one (me) to help her up and see she was OK.

All the training in the world won't stop the kids from absorbing the generational imperitive.

Second take, road rage comes from people's inability to deal with their own frustration

fuelled anger. Self control? Why handicap yourself in this go-for-broke world?

We're living in some sad times.

[Aqua]

Manners are very important to my wife and me. When I first met her kids I was very impressed with their manners and I work hard to make sure my daughter uses good manners at all times.

[Kaelynn]

I agree with WildIrish, I open the door everytime I go to class for several other students, the ones that just expect it or walk on by piss me off... When I do get a "thank you" I always say "no problem" or "absolutely" probably not what I should say... but what I have fallen into the habit of.

I dated a guy once that opened doors for me when my parents were around and that was all. Then I saw another guy that would run to the doors and open then for the pretty lady walking ahead of us, and follow her in and not hold it for me... talk about frustrating...

[fredchabotnick]

Being courteous is a huge pet peeve of mine. When someone's behind you, you hold the door for them. And when someone does that for you, you thank them. I must hold the door 30 times a day and I can't tell you how many times people just walk right through without even a passing glance, like it's my job.

I hear you. Although I'm ashamed to admit that some of my manners have been slipping.
That being said, I've actually been yelled at for opening up a door. Back when I was in school, I opened the door for a young woman (my age) who proceeded to tear me a new one because "she was perfectly capable of open the door herself." I took the high road and didn't say anything, but all I wanted to say was that I could have closed the door on you, and what would you have thought of that? That and several words that I shouldn't be saying around impressionable youth.

[PantyFanatic]

Common courtesy, like common sense, isn’t very common anymore.

[maddy]

Amen! ^^^

[osuche]

I still use the word "sir." LMAO. I just started a new job, and the first time I said "Yes, sir" I got this puzzled look. I think the man thought I was mocking him! But I wasn't.

I hold the door for older people, and if I arrive first....I even hold it for a guy. SOmetimes it makes them uncomfortable, but I see that discomfort less and less nowadays.

I do, however, like being treated with the same respect.

The greatest mark of courtesy IMHO? Find something to compliment someone on -- their shirt, tie, jewelry, etc. And mean it. It's amazing how many people light up at the mere hint of a compliment. :)

Now that's courtesy.

[WildIrish]

The greatest mark of courtesy IMHO? Find something to compliment someone on -- their shirt, tie, jewelry, etc. And mean it. It's amazing how many people light up at the mere hint of a compliment. :)

Now that's courtesy.


Nice cans! :D

[PantyFanatic]

Nice cans! :D
:thumb: WI













:grin: :rofl:

[osuche]

Nice cans! :D


And you, my dear, have very sexy hands. :x:

[Lilith]

And you, my dear, have very sexy hands. :x:
funny I hear he gets that a lot ;)

[dicksbro]

While most people I encounter are reasonably polite, I've definitely noticed things aren't like they used to be. I grew up saying "Yes, Mamm" and "Yes, Sir" but have noticed that many of the kids today ... don't. If they answer at all, it's "Yeah" or "Uh huh." I should be fair, though, many young people are courteous and many older folks are not. And if there has been the decline that I perceive, maybe it's more to do with the training the current adult population (my generation) gave them, then it is their fault. :(

One time, my wife and I had been grocery shopping and when we came out I opened the car door for her and a lady parked near us shouted out, "Do you give lessons?" I said, "I'm sorry, mamm, what?" She said, "My husband never opens the door for me." Made me feel good, but I felt sad for her. I've opened the door for my wife or for other ladies for as long as I can remember. I thought men were suppose to do that. :(

I also agree that the times we've traveled south, we see manners improve dramatically the further south we go. Hope ya'll can hang on to that ... ya' hear. Thank you. :)

[PalaceGuard]

The loss of civility seems to me to be related to the growth in the cult of “I”. Civil behavior, manners if you will, are by nature about how we relate to others. OldFart commented about those who are too self absorbed to care about others; I’d guess that they’ve never been taught to care.

[Belial]

Manners are dying because we have a new generation who are so self-absorbed that

anything ouside their personal space is irrelevant. A lady fell over in a shopping centre

here and it took about two minutes for some-one (me) to help her up and see she was OK.

All the training in the world won't stop the kids from absorbing the generational imperitive.



Do you think self-righteous condescenscion is going to bridge, or widen this gap?

Did you ever wonder how my generation came to be self-absorbed? It's very easy to consider everything outside of your own personal space irrelevant when attempting to effect anything outside of that space gets you ignored, clubbed, or pilloried in the media.

But more on-topic, I leave doors open for those following soon behind me, help people if they drop things, and I say "thanks" when others do this for me. Doesn't matter how old they are or if they've got a dick or not.

[nikanik]

I am a Georgia peach and with each passing year I have noticed that things are changing down here too for the worst. My kids almost automatically say yes sir yes maam and use a Mr or Miss handle. What I cant stand is the people who insist that my kids call them by their first name and get up set when they dont. I tell my kids to put an Auntie or Uncle in front to show some respect. In the mall one day this lady was shocked that my 4 year old asked her if she needed him to hold the door for her when she was with her husband who had walked ahead and let the door close on the stroller she was pushing. He actually gave my son the skunk eye for it.

[WildIrish]

osuche & Lilith, thank you very much. I never really thought of anything about me as sexy. It was really nice of you to say that.

[1nutworld]

Just like everyone else in here I've seen manners and courtesy vanishing, but I am trying to fight it, by teaching my son, the "proper" way to talk to people.

As he gets older, he will be holding the door open for people, when leaving buildings, and doing as I do by opening the door for ladies who ride in my vehicle. (apparently one of my jobs as manager of a fast food chain, was to give rides home to my employees) :)