Arrrrggggh!

[CunningLinguist]

Been getting meds for my depression now, and well one of the meds has this neat little side effect of killing my sex drive.

No seriously, I want that side effect because well here is the story.

I am 25 y/o. I live with my parents. I work at a McDonald's which is like the 7th job I have had in the two years I have graduated from college with an engineering degree. I won't ever use my degree and will always be working minimum wage. I have a mild form of autism where I can't learn social skills or read social skills despite being intelligent which causes everyone to think I am just a lazy prick. It's only a matter of time before I get fired again for saying the wrong thing to someone.

I have no money to go out. None of my friends have ever seen a girl of legal age that is single with no kids. All my friends agree with me that it is futile I try to seek out love. (Funny they didn't thing that until about two years ago when I just went down hill and became a total fuckup.) I don't believe in God so I don't go to church, and really would you believe in a God who created your mind to be intelligent in useless things like math and science, but you can't learn social skills and unlike someone who is retarded you aren't innocent and retain a normal sex drive. In short, I will never meet any women let alone the right woman.

Despite all this I am horny and no amount of praying or devirting myself can do it. The pills miraculously cure my sex drive and I can go on with life ignoring beautiful women as I should to begin with.

I ain't got them in yet though so I have to fucking vent what is wrong with me.

[Lilith]

As someone who has worked extensively with kids with Asperger's, I know that depression can be an issue but instead of hating the mind you have been given, you could focus on the gifts you have.

I have had quite a number of professors who walk the PDD line as well. Have you considered teaching and tutoring? You could also be tutored in return on how to behave in social situations. I realize the task is much more involved with a 25 year old than with a 7 year old but intensive behavioral therapy works.

To a stranger, like me, I hear depression screaming much louder than the social disorder. Are you sure your meds are adequate? Do you know anything about the GFCF diet? You may want to look into it and see if it helps you feel beter.

[fzzy]

My boss has Asperger's ... she's an attorney and also has no social skills in the real world, but it does well for her in the career side of things ....

Like Lilith ... I hear more of the depression in your comments than the Aspergers ... Sometimes with those meds it can take awhile to get the dosage/mix right ... make sure you let your doctor know it all ... even if you want the side effects, they need to know all of those details to work out what is best for you. Best of luck!!!

And Lil ... is there anything you don't know about ... you amaze me with your insight and knowledge of things!

[CunningLinguist]

Lilith,

Well, let's see I could see very little in being a useless storehouse of information, good at math, and well in general interested in religions. (See I can no longer believe in a Christian god and well Paganism doesn't pay their clerics well.)

I was going to teach, but a few months substitute teaching in the inner city and all the obsticles that came with me getting a teaching certificate (money) just really killed that career path. Plus, as a person who has no social skills, I will probably be fired my first year as a professor or teacher for saying the wrong thing to a student. Trust me, I have been fired three times in six months and only keep my current job at McDonald's because a family member is got my back.

I don't have the money to seek counciling in learning social skills, plus there is nothing I have seen that social skills could be taught to someone my age.

Yeah I am depressed. Yeah I am getting the best treatment a person who works at McDonald's and has no health insurance can get. And once I get my meds refilled all desire for human interaction will subside. I don't think there is a person on this board who actualy believes I should seek out a relationship.

[CunningLinguist]

fzzy,

I see a state psychiatrist once every 90 days and its a different shrink.

I only see them for 15 minutes, they ask if I am still suicidal, any side effects and they refill my prescriptions.

In and out, no time to sit and pontificate, but I specifically asked to stay on the Remeron becuase it killed my sex drive, and we can all agree guys like should not have a sex drive.

[maddy]

It saddens me that you have such a dismal outlook on your life. If you have desire and passion you can use those emotions and the drive to overcome anything. I truly believe that. I'm not familar with your affliction, but there are always ways to find coping mechanisms, no matter the age. I'm not sure where you are from, but surely there are governmental programs that can aide you and help you on your road of discovering your potential and dreams.

All the negative self talk is very self serving... if you want to be nothing you can talk yourself into that and live up (or down) to the expectations you have set for yourself. Turn the attitue around and have some positive self talk and you just might find that you can turn your expectations in another direction.

It's all up to you, you need to decide what person you want to be, and how you want to live your life ... just know that it doesn't have to be the picture you are presently painting in this thread, unless you choose it to be.

Good luck.

[CunningLinguist]

Maddy,

I live in Texas, I am 25 y/o and I work in fast food.

There are no governmental programs other than getting medication to stop the thoughts of killing myself. The Remeron doesn't do anything about that, but it stops the thoughts of wanting a mate.

I see all my passion and desire to be a waste of energy.

I justy want to be happy being alone and working for minimum wage the rest of my life.

[maddy]

Well if being alone and earning minimum wage is what truly makes you happiest then who am I to stop you or stand in your way. Best of luck with that.

[Jude30]

What exactly was your purpose behind starting this thread?

People have given you solutions to your problems yet you don't want to take their advice. It's easier to sit here and bitch about how much your life sucks and how you will always be stuck in nowhere dead end jobs. There is only one person who can change the way your life is going and that person is you.

People don't just think you're a lazy prick you are a lazy prick. There are people in the world with larger problems than yourself and they make their lives work because they want their lives to work.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as a prick here, but I can't stand it when people aren't willing to fix their lives but insist on bitching about it. If you hate your life and keep quite I'm perfectly happy to let you live your quiet miserable life. If no matter how hard you try life keeps beating you down you have my sympathy. But if you would rather just bitch about how hard things are and not do a damned thing to fix them then you don't get much sympathy from me.

[Lilith]

While I can understand your deep feelings, name calling won't help. People who seek negative attention thrive off of posts like that^^^. He needs that to prove that even strangers have a poor opinion of him so he need not even try. I responded to him knowing full well what his response would be. There is a sense of learned helplessness that is prevalent in a select group of people, I think we have seen similar signs from other members in this demographic here before. He will shoot down every suggestion because they would require effort on his part and he is of the mind that this is his lot in life, the cards he has been dealt, a victim. All we can do is wish him well. Nothing we say will make him miraculously see that he is responsible for what his life becomes.

[Jude30]

I know, Lilith and I know I shouldn't have bothered since it just makes me a troll, but I was feeling pissy last night. I debated about adding the "lazy prick" line and in the end decided to use it since that's how he said others saw him.

[Lilith]

Is ok...I was really just looking for an excuse to :spank: ya;)

[Jude30]

If that's the case all you have to do is ask. I'm an open minded kind of guy. :)

[calihotguy]

just get in therapy man....there are tons of low-cost or no-cost clinics and counseling centers out there. Med's alone will not work for you, they will balance you out a little better, but they won't do it all.

My point is, there is no quick fix....even therapy could take years. It is very common for me to see patients I have taken over who have had several years of previous therapy, especially when the symptomology of the clients pathology includes a dysfunctional social dimension.

Fact is you are depressed, and that needs to go first before you can get enough energy to deal with your other circumstances.

You are seeing the world through some bad goggles, take my advice and then you might be able to take those goggles off. I know how hard it is and you have my empathy.

[IAKaraokeGirl]

What ^^^ said...medication, while wonderful in a number of circumstances, can't do it alone. Medication and therapy can't even do it alone. Keep taking your medication, find a therapist you like (and, no, you won't necessarily find him/her the first time you see someone--shop around until you find the perfect fit), pull on the support of your friends and family...and, eventually, even if you can't take the goggles off, maybe they won't quite be so dirty.

There is a stigma, unfortunately, attached to therapy, when in all actuality the world might be a much better place if more people took advantage of therapy and therapuetic resources available to them. If your experiences and background lead you to believe that being in therapy is a sign of weakness, has no value, etc., think of therapy as you (or the state or government or whatever) paying someone to be your friend for an hour a week. :) As calihotguy said, there are many low- or no-cost alternatives available out there that are just as good as the highest-priced Beverly Hills psychobabbler.

Granted, I don't know all the details of your situation or problems, but I do have some background in depression. Medication is great for taking the highs and lows of life and mellowing them out to a tolerable level, but without therapy and self-motivation to work on the issues that heighten the depression, progress cannot be made.

Best of luck.

[scotzoidman]

As Lil & a few others here may know, I have a deeply personnal experience with Asperger's, & I can say that it can be a very pervasive affliction that often leaves its victims looking for sympathy and/or "someone" to blame, & sometimes no amount of meds & theropy will "fix" them...one does not "grow out" of AS, tho it is possible to learn to be high-functioning with it...I know of 2 examples for either outcome myself...
One interesting bit of info relayed to me by a family member was that some experts believe Michaelangelo may have had AS, based on a few historical records of his life...anybody know of a church ceiling that needs to be painted? I may have a good candidate for the job...

[rockintime]

anybody know of a church ceiling that needs to be painted? I may have a good candidate for the job...

Uhhhhhh, don't know of any church ceilings in need, but the ceiling in my house sure could use some work, particularly the vaulted ceiling portions...would like some crown mouldling added at the same time, please.

:D

[boilergirl1]

w/o the want to, you'll always be stuck so quit blubbering about it and pick yerself up by the boot straps if necessary and get on with the living part of your life whatever you decide to do just do it. good luck and i'll light a candle for you sometime.

[cherrypie7788]

^^^ Good advice

[Cjack]

I think there has been a lot of good advice given here.