View Full Version : Silly Laws or Dumb Warnings
dicksbro
04-09-2005, 05:27 AM
I've seen some of these before but wonder what you've seen or found ..
Illinois Silly Laws:
The English language is not to be spoken. :rolleyes2
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. :eek:
And, out great city of Chicago has a few, too ...
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. (Good idea. :))
Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. (This is important)
Spitting is forbidden
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
Dumb Warnings
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost"
Sharni
04-09-2005, 05:48 AM
Dumb Warnings
Claymore Anti-Personal Mine: "DO NOT EAT"
Ansell Condoms: "Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail"
Trojan Condoms: "Use for sex only - not to be eaten"
Various Computers: "Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue"
7 Up: "Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening."
Bowl Fresh: "Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet."
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children"
On a helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you"
On a Taiwanese shampoo: "Use repeatedly for severe damage"
On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink: "After opening, keep upright"
On a New Zealand insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."
In an american guide to setting up a new computer: "To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening. (Sensible instruction was on the inside of the box.)"
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids: "Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected portion Like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool for Approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet."
On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."
On an infant's bathtub: "Do not throw baby out with bath water."
On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: "Not meant as substitute for human companionship."
On a Magic 8 Ball: "Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test."
On a roll of Life Savers: "Not for use as a flotation device."
On a cup of McDonald's coffee: "Allow to cool before applying to groin area."
On a refrigerator: "Refrigerate after opening."
On a disposable razor: "Do not use this product during an earthquake."
On a handgun: "Not recommended for use as a nutcracker."
On pantyhose: "Not to be used in the commission of a felony."
On a piano: "Harmful or fatal if swallowed."
On a can of Fix-a-Flat: "Not to be used for breast augmentation."
On a Pentium chip: "If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97."
On work gloves: "For best results, do not leave at crime scene."
On a palm sander: "Not to be used to sand palms."
On a calendar: "Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied."
On Odor Eaters: "Do not eat."
On a blender: "Not for use as an aquarium."
On a fax machine: "WARNING! Never attempt to directly fax anyone an image of
your naked buttocks. Always photocopy your buttocks and fax the photocopy."
On a revolving door: "Passenger compartments for individual use only."
On a microscope: "Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear."
On children's alphabet blocks: "Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive."
On a wet suit: "Capacity, 1."
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles: "Open Other End."
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins: "Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?"
cowgirltease
04-09-2005, 09:21 AM
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
AWWWWWWWWW Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p
LMAO Glad I don't live "in the Pulman area" :)
...imagine not being able to sit on a curb and chug your beer out of a bucket
Galatea
04-09-2005, 11:06 AM
In the town I use to live in you have to pull your vehicle to the side of the road and turn it off so as not to spook the passing horses and horse-drawn carraiges. And you can't drive motor vehicles down Main St.
Galatea
04-09-2005, 11:13 AM
:grin: In Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. :grin:
In Toronto you aren't allowed to drag a dead horse on Queen Street.
Lilith
04-09-2005, 01:41 PM
In Toronto you aren't allowed to drag a dead horse on Queen Street.
Can I drag a dead queen on Horse Street?????? :p
Can I drag a dead queen on Horse Street?????? :p
LOL............ WE ARE NOT AMUSED!!! :wave:
Galatea
04-09-2005, 02:01 PM
^^^^^^
Can't help but wonder if she got her hoo hoo woohoo'ed..... :rolleyes2
Lilith
04-09-2005, 02:13 PM
I believe that^^^ is forbidden by law in my state :p
Galatea
04-09-2005, 02:32 PM
lord don't get me started on outlawed sex practices in my state! That should be a whole new thread!
lakritze
04-09-2005, 03:51 PM
It is a good thing that Queen Victoria isn't around to witness the marriage of Prince Charles to Seabiscuit.
wyndhy
04-09-2005, 07:55 PM
omg...too funny!
LixyChick
04-09-2005, 09:49 PM
It is a good thing that Queen Victoria isn't around to witness the marriage of Prince Charles to Seabiscuit.
Don't get me wrong...Camilla <sp?> ain't the prettiest chick I've ever seen...but...beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!!!!
I take homage with your statement lakritze. Have [we] ever seen your face (in personals forum...for example) and judged you so harshly? I can't say as I've ever seen a single pic from you! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...why is that?
I am in awe of this longstanding love story of theirs! He married someone he didn't love, to bear heirs to the crown. He held the torch for Camilla throughout the marriage to Diana. He waited a substantial amount of time after Diana's death to marry Camilla.
It was ALWAYS Camilla! Love conquers all!
Sorry lakritze...but it's been a long time coming! *kisses*
LixyChick
04-09-2005, 09:51 PM
Um...sorry for the hijack db, hunny bunny...but it ^^^ had to be said!
Sharni
04-09-2005, 09:59 PM
It is a good thing that Queen Victoria isn't around to witness the marriage of Prince Charles to Seabiscuit.
Dont insult Seabiscuit *LOL*
Damn good movie by the way
cherrypie7788
04-09-2005, 10:01 PM
I personally think it's no matter of ours (though I know the media coverage is just crazy). I don't care if Prince Charles marries Camilla or Madonna or Britney Spears or anyone else.
dicksbro
04-10-2005, 04:21 AM
Ahem. Getting us back on topic ... :)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly" (Rats)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only"
... and ... some more Illinois laws ...
Crete
Cars may not be driven through the town.
Des Plaines
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
Eureka
A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
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