Irish
03-06-2005, 11:30 PM
Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought
about;
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead
of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for
eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to
put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two
hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at
things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked
anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things
here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no
decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you
are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be
smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a
hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their
crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy
dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil
made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid
when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you
take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese ~
about;
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead
of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for
eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to
put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two
hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at
things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked
anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things
here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no
decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you
are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be
smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a
hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their
crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy
dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil
made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid
when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you
take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese ~