Friend is thinking of becoming a stripper...good/bad idea?

[phelan]

Here's her dilemma, student loans are catching up with her, she just recently got outsourced on her evening job and rent is coming up so she needs to find something quick to get income again. She currently lives with me, my friends and my g/f so I told her that I think I can cover her rent for this month and maybe next, at the very least someone else can cover for her but for day-to-day living expenses i can't cover at all.

So naturally she thought about becoming a stripper as she hears stories online and things like it's easy money and you can make 300 a night or something or rather.

My concern is obviously the health issue, your in a strip club with lots of smoke, alcohol etc...next thing is that i keep hearing stories about stalkers stalking dancers at night...last thing i want is some big guy comin to my door and bustin it down and etc.

so what's a friend to do?

[Lilith]

what was her degree in for the loans?

[fzzy]

I'd say that what often sounds like easy money ends up being the hardest money you'll ever earn!

And $300 a night might be possible ... even more, if she's working at the right location, if she's got the outfits for it (not cheap) ... etc. ..... Where's Lixy when we need her ... she would know many of the pros and cons re this choice since she used to do costumes for exotic dancers.

Like anything else you do in this life, you just have to remember that you have to live with that decision for the rest of your life ... (not live it necessarily ... but live with it). Hope she finds a job that she enjoys and meets her various needs financially (stripping or otherwise)!

[GingerV]

At one point I wanted to print in BIG PERMANENT LETTERS on my brother's hand the following words: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EASY MONEY!

Stuffing envelopes is not easy, selling things door to door is not easy, what I do for a living is not easy, what you do for a living is not easy. Exotic dancing is not easy money. It may be fast money, or good money....but I think both of those things are less true than internet urban legend would have them be. If was something she'd thought long and hard about, investigated, talked to people who had been on the inside and left for some reason, looking into specific clubs where she might work....and STILL wanted to do it, I'd say get out of her way. But if she's diving into this in desperation and on the recommendation of "everybody says"....then I'd worry she's in for a few unpleasant surprises. Mind you, I'd say the same about ANY important job choice...it's a close match to what I tell people when they're looking at colleges/grad schools. It's a big deal, know what you're getting into.

In her case, if she's just panicing for cash...I might find her a few phone numbers for temp agencies. It might make some of the quick money options other than dancing easier to think about.

G (on going back...I ought to point out my brother wasn't necessarily thinking of dancing....more the "make money selling from home" sort of thing)

[flywater]

As a male of the species who has been suspected of frequenting those type of establishments (I plead the fifth!), allow me a few words. Being in construction and due to weather, I have had the opportunity over the years of being in strip clubs at different times, day, dinner, night, etc. The more senior the dancer is in the club, the better shifts (read night) she gets. The newbies get the day shifts and I have spoke to some who are lucky to make $25 for a 6 - 7 hour shift. Keep in mind that the club also charges the dancer for music, food, drinks, etc, so it is possible for a dancer to work a day for free. I am not trying to scare, just a nodding aquaintance with reality from one who has (supposedly) been in such establishments. Hope my $ .02 helps.

[Stolen Kisses]

Youre a great friend. She is lucky to have you.

I dont know a thing about stripping. So I cant say good or bad.

But, what I can offer is that she can defer her student loans. The reason is not cked. My husband has had to defer his while he was being treated for his cancer. It will go for a yr even if you dont need it to. She just needs to tell them she is having hardships due to hours being cut- or loss of job or illness- whatever. It should be effective as soon as she submits the request and it is approved. Just tell her to call and get all the details.



Good Luck
Hugs,
Barb

[phelan]

lilth - i'm not sure on that as she didn't convey that to me

gingerv - I pretty much told her the samething the other night, if she's dead on getting into it there's nothing i can do bout it. But I told her to do some research into the industry to find out where to work, how much approx. new people make and etc. (she got the idea recently because my g/f and i just visited a strip club for the first time not so long ago, and she was surprised at $20 for 3-5min song)

flywater - there's no filth in visiting a strip club from what i saw, personally I can see my g/f and i visiting them every month or so as she got quite turned on by the pole dancing and the lap dances ;)

stoken kisses - thanks for the comment. I'll bring up your advice when she gets back as i'm not sure if she's looked into that. She's a finance major so i would've expected her to already considered "all" options

[Steph]

I've been where she was quite recently. I've done some dark things & it hasn't killed me but if you want the "easy money" you really do have to deal with the consequences.

She should bring a streetwise man with her to a club or two and sit there and check it out. She should talk to some of the women who do it and see if she's ready for it.

I know more women who sell themselves every day for a $5 piece of crack cocaine than I know women who have paid off their student loans with stripping, however.

If she's led a sheltered life, she will be eaten alive in the clubs.

[GingerV]

One other thing occured to me phelan. You need to make sure you know where your responsibilities end. You've bailed her out as far as rent goes, and you've tried to help her both think through her plans and find alternative solutions. You've already done enough to qualify as a good friend. But you're neither her parent, nor her guardian angel. And if she makes a decision she later regrets, the results are in no way your fault. Don't take on guilt for not being able to stop a grown woman from making her own mistakes.

Hope it all turns out for the best.

G

[PantyFanatic]

FlyWater has seen behind the curtain. Funny how an exciting dip in the pool with the dolphins can turn into a swim with the sharks.

[mayhem1978]

i know a stripper here in the uk but it has not done here good at all...yes she has a lotof money but she works all hours and everywhere..... dont know if its the same in the states. BUT they do look after her.

[LixyChick]

Haven't read all the replies...for lack of time (not ignorance), but skimmed over them and the concerns that arose.

As in many jobs, there are dangers. I've heard the horror stories of dancers and the problems they can have with unruly customers. I think the problems stem, not from the customers becoming unruly, but from the establishment allowing the freedom for the customer to become unruly. If you work for a place that has no, or very few bouncers and the rules aren't stated or posted...there is going to be trouble. It's important to know what you want from a job like dancing. Do you consider yourself a strong enough woman with as strong a personality to "keep the bad boys in line"? Or, would you prefer to have the establishment you work for handle all the dark scenes?

Here's what I mean...My baby sister used to dance at an "Adult Book Store" (that's what they are called in Jersey). She was one of the girls behind that glass that when you put money in, the curtain rose and she danced for the time alotted for the money you gave. There were several girls that danced on the same shift. Per every 2 dancers there was 1 bouncer. She came to trust these guys for her safety...as these types of establishments are considered a bit more seedy than a club. The bouncers take their job VERY seriously and are very good at what they do!

I worked as a bartender at a bar who hired an agency where we'd get our dancers from. The agency supplied an escort to bring the girls to our place, unless the girl felt secure enough to drive herself. When they got there, our bouncers took over responsibility for them till there shift ended. If they were brought by an escort, he was there to see her safely home. Otherwise, our bouncers escorted her to her car and stayed in the (well lighted) parking lot till she was safely on her way.

Almost all the girls that I made costumes for would use the escort on many occasions...like when they were booked in Philly or something like that...but when they came to our club they drove themselves. It takes experience to know your own safety level. But, it takes homework to find out that safety level as well.

Yes! Dancing can be very lucrative in a very short period of time! My sister made several thousand in a few short months. The "classier" the place and the neighborhood...the better the clients who frequent it. That's not to say there won't ever be trouble...just that it'll be a better class of trouble...lol! Sorry...it had to be said!

Initially, you'll have to ask questions as to how each establishment handles their safety measures. Only she can decide if she'll be comfortable and feel safe there. It won't be necessary for you to stay to make sure of her safety if she chooses a place that is secure...but it might be fun to watch her blossom from a new (awkward) dancer, into an exotic swan!

As to smoke...some places are actually smoke free now. So if that's a concern, look for places that don't allow smoking.

PM me anytime phelan! I worked for and around the seedy and better places for quite some time in my day!

[joys]

Here's her dilemma, student loans are catching up with her, she just recently got outsourced on her evening job and rent is coming up so she needs to find something quick to get income again. She currently lives with me, my friends and my g/f so I told her that I think I can cover her rent for this month and maybe next, at the very least someone else can cover for her but for day-to-day living expenses i can't cover at all.

So naturally she thought about becoming a stripper as she hears stories online and things like it's easy money and you can make 300 a night or something or rather.

My concern is obviously the health issue, your in a strip club with lots of smoke, alcohol etc...next thing is that i keep hearing stories about stalkers stalking dancers at night...last thing i want is some big guy comin to my door and bustin it down and etc.

so what's a friend to do?

I haven't read all the replies either, but would like to contribute. 300 a night is a very attempting thing. But rather than the health issues think about what she would think for herself. If it is ok with her, she could try for it but of course some pimps would come over too.

If she is willing to do this, make sure it is a reputable bar with no pimps. The smoke and alchohol is a part of that job

[LixyChick]

Sidebar:

We can't get away from second hand smoke...but the alcohol is our own doing! If we choose to drink...we drink. If we choose not to smoke but it's a smoking establishment...and we chose to work there...we take the secondhand smoke.

It's ALL about choices...and we ALL make our own choices in situations like this! You can't blame the establishment for what you choose to do! Not all dancing clubs allow smoking or serve alcohol. Some ban smoking except in designated areas...and some allow the customers to bring alcohol, but don't serve it themselves (they are usually the totally nude places).

Tell her to do her homework!