Starting all over

[silentsoul]

Say out of the blue some life changing event happens and you find yourself alone. Where would you go to find a new love. I am far from the "club" type and would never believe myself to have any luck in them. Yet at the same time, I could never find myself getting excited about an internet relationship.

Give it a good think and get back to me.

[Sharni]

I wouldn't actively go looking anywhere.....love tends to pop up in the most unexpected place anyway...

[cherrypie7788]

^^^Ditto

I'm not into the club/bar scene either. I'd feel like anyone I met in a bar or club was just there to pick up a girl to fuck her.

When you meet someone you want to be with, though, you don't care WHERE you meet them, whether it be school or work or online...Trust me ;)

[Pita]

I agree with Sharni but at the same time I wouldn't give up on finding love through the internet. Its a great way to meet people that you normally wouldn't run into in your neighborhood and one just never knows when true love will occur. Of course you have to be careful but I think its possible. I know very happily married people that met on the net.

[nicole2309]

I agree... you don't so much have to go out looking, just open yourself up to the possibility. And, if you have any guy friends who are married or dating, you could always ask them if their S/O's have any hot friends to set you up with.

[TinTennessee]

I have been divorced for eight years and have had the occasional "serious" relationship here and there, but nothing that ever lasts. I think I must be meant to be alone. After you are hurt enough, you tend to just give up and begin to think you are worthless. Besides, there are really not many men out there who want to take on a 44 year old woman with a 16 and 12 year old son. If a man couldn't love my kids as his own, he isn't worth it anyway. I definitely don't go to clubs, outgrew that!

[BIBI]

Yet at the same time, I could never find myself getting excited about an internet relationship.

Never say never! There are many couples who have met online and have good strong relationships.

The only time I "met" a nut online was when I first got a computer. I of course had ICQ a guy from my city messaged me randomly. The chit chat was nice, normal and interesting and then he excused himself to answer the door.

Coming back he asked me why I sent the internet police to his door. He was sick of me doing it! LMAO.....I exited stage left really fast :)

[Lilith]

I think I might be inclined to look online ;) There have been people online that I have become closer and known better than people in my everyday. I like the intimacy (yes I said intimacy) of getting to know a person cognitively, spiritually before visually, that the internet allows.

[cherrypie7788]

I think I might be inclined to look online ;) There have been people online that I have become closer and known better than people in my everyday. I like the intimacy (yes I said intimacy) of getting to know a person cognitively, spiritually before visually, that the internet allows.


You have a very valid point Lilith :) I couldn't agree more.

[Loulabelle]

I was always positively scornful about online relationships, until I met Mr FussyPucker and the rest, as they say, is history. :D

[Mark Vieth]

Hey, silentsoul. Well I can tell you love can pop up in the most unlikely of places or when you least expect to find it. The more you try and look for it, the more you are likely to get duds. So don't go looking for it, let it find you. Let this new person discover you for themselves so they accept you for....you.

[LixyChick]

(((((((ss))))))))

I hope you are ok! I don't want to assume anything from this thread...but I guess I did.

I'd take a break...get my head together...and then go about my everyday life with a new awareness of availability. Everywhere I go, I'd look at people in a different light. I'd put the vibe out there and I'm sure I'd have to do some weeding out...but I know I'd meet all sorts of new people!

[WildIrish]

People see the real you when you're not looking for love. And odds are, you'll be more honest with yourself at that time too. How many times have we all heard "As soon as I gave up dating and trying to find a boy/girlfriend...I met the most wonderful person!"? I've had two friends that said something similar.

At any rate...there are people all over this planet, in every corner of the world. At work, the grocery store, gas station where you buy your coffee. It's a casual and relaxed, innocent environment where people are themselves. And yes, the internet. Safety first and protect your privacy. But letting your guard down for people that you get to know can be enlightening and enchanting. I have 20 year friends from high school that I don't know better than some I've met online. And I doubt they know me as truly and deeply either!

[Loren]

I'd probably look on-line.

The bar scene is absolutely out of the question--I'm a non-drinker.

[Scarecrow]

The bar scene is out, the hate it when you bring your walker inside. :hair:

:rofl:

[boilergirl1]

i like what lilith said alot here's my 2$ worth(inflation):

when you make a point of working on you and are truly focused on that alone things do happen. In my case i had just come off of a really dreadful marriage and was still in the process of assembling myself and my heart. I truly and most definately was NOT, i repeat NOT looking to find anyone at all. furthest thing from my mind, at the time. then due to some circumstances beyond my control (or fate/destiny)whatever) i found myself in the care of a very real human being who asked nithing of me and whom offered his tiny trailer as a temp refuge for my daughter and my self. I was at bottom as they say and so i took what was offered in the spirit it was offered as. Let me just say that at that time i did not find him even remotely attractive and that other than being grateful for the help had no thought of anything other than a possible friendship. As the next few weeks/months passed and i came to know this human bean i found that he was unique in so many ways that were highly unusual for the male species(no offense pixies guys) And he backed up his words with actions that would speak to anyone who was paying attn with their hearts. And the rest as they say is history that was ten years ago and although we have had our downs and our ups the middle ground seems to take up more space we live sleep and work together as well as working on the road if you can live in a motel room the size of a postage stamp and still come out friends then i suspect that it will last forever. i don't know if any of this will help you but stay strong and walk tall for yourself for you are a rightous human bean and ."....no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Rock On boilergirl1







ps-man typing with fingernails on is hard i don't know how those high maintenance gals do it but they do. lol

[osuche]

i like what lilith said alot here's my 2$ worth(inflation):

when you make a point of working on you and are truly focused on that alone things do happen. In my case i had just come off of a really dreadful marriage and was still in the process of assembling myself and my heart. I truly and most definately was NOT, i repeat NOT looking to find anyone at all. furthest thing from my mind, at the time. then due to some circumstances beyond my control (or fate/destiny)whatever) i found myself in the care of a very real human being who asked nithing of me and whom offered his tiny trailer as a temp refuge for my daughter and my self. I was at bottom as they say and so i took what was offered in the spirit it was offered as. Let me just say that at that time i did not find him even remotely attractive and that other than being grateful for the help had no thought of anything other than a possible friendship. As the next few weeks/months passed and i came to know this human bean i found that he was unique in so many ways that were highly unusual for the male species(no offense pixies guys) And he backed up his words with actions that would speak to anyone who was paying attn with their hearts. And the rest as they say is history that was ten years ago and although we have had our downs and our ups the middle ground seems to take up more space we live sleep and work together as well as working on the road if you can live in a motel room the size of a postage stamp and still come out friends then i suspect that it will last forever. i don't know if any of this will help you but stay strong and walk tall for yourself for you are a rightous human bean and ."....no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."



(((((BG)))))

Your story made me smile. Thank you for sharing it. :D

That reminds me.....It's always seemed to me that some of the most generous and caring people in the world are the ones that have seen lots of hard times. They may not have two nickels to rub together, but they will go out of their way to help someone else. That gives me faith in humanity.


SS -- The people above me have good advice. Focus on making *you* happy, and the right relationship will come along. You're young. Have patience. You'll find someone special, I have no doubt.

[Steph]

Work on yourself first.

[LixyChick]

(((((((((silentsoul))))))))))? Where you be?

Just a bit worried for you is all...so say hi, or something!

((((((((bg1))))))))) TY for sharing from the heart! Great story of "love conquers all"!

[silentsoul]

okay, I just don't really know what to feel right now. It's probably better that my wife leaves me. I thought that I could keep her happy, I obviously can't. She deserves the best and she's never had any problems finding guys before me so hopefully she'll find someone.

Okay, let's do another one of my what if dealies... Say I am actually able to pull myself together enough and to force myself to go out and get a job with little or no involvement with the public (the only type job I'd be capable of handling). I was thinking of working in a parts department or something. I used to work at a local mortocycle shop's parts department and shipping/recieving department.

My point is that even if I push myself BEYOND my current level of ability in an effort to put myself out in there in the world. How many females period am I gonna come in contact with, much less a single 20 something hopeful hottie. Either way, I'm just really finding it hard to think of ANY situation in which I'd have the chance for anymore than the occasional one night stand based on lust. That's not what I want.

I'm just really down in the dumps right now and feeling just really conflicted. It's weird, even though I'm pretty depressed, I'm still horny as hell. I mean yeah it's been a while, maybe a couple weeks since I'd had sex. It's just the fact that I thought about my wife's "play parts" alot when I knew that I'd be able to at least see if not play with that night. Now I'm alone and facing being that way for a very long time, yet all I wanna do is just fuck the living hell out of someone.

Thanks for everyone's concern, if you know any sweet little 20 something's that are in central va and looking for a good nameless lay, then I guess send them my way but other than that, I guess all I need is time.

[cherrypie7788]

Sounds like you might be in shock, SS. You do have a good attitude about her though, it seems (hoping she meets someone). I don't really know what to tell you except that I can (sort of) relate to you.

One thing that does disturb me a bit though, sweetie, is that your wife has just left you and already you're thinking about how you're going to meet girls. Maybe you should just slow down a little. Getting a job is probably a good idea, and you never know..you might meet someone. You meet people when you least expect it.

I'm really sorry this happened, SS, and I wish you all the best.

[silentsoul]

I'm not actually planning on how I'm gonna go out and meet girls. Right now I wouldn't exactly turn down a one night fling but meeting someone is the last thing on my mind. I'm just trying to get through this one day at a time and usually that means just thinking about how life would be if you changed one of it's limitless variables.