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View Full Version : God bless our reporters—and their editors!


PantyFanatic
01-18-2005, 02:56 PM
THE YEAR’S BEST
[ACTUAL]
HEADLINES OF 2004:


Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that’s taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[let’s see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have a bearing!]

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren’t they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors



And the winner is....

[B]Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[nuff said!]

sodaklostsoul
01-18-2005, 03:12 PM
Lmao

Lilith
01-18-2005, 03:37 PM
LMFAO The Governor is MINE!!!!! Damn girlie got stopped at my Walgreens passing forged scripts. :spin:

wyndhy
01-18-2005, 03:54 PM
:grin::grin::grin: ...that's what happens when they try to dumb it down for good ole john q.-they're the ones that end up sounding stupid

Lilith
01-18-2005, 03:55 PM
How can reporters help it when these are the stories....http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/18/balcony.death.ap/index.html

wyndhy
01-18-2005, 03:58 PM
OMG!! yet another brilliant darwin award nominee

WildIrish
01-18-2005, 04:01 PM
:confused: Second floor?

Obviously she didn't know how to tuck and roll. :D

Scarecrow
01-18-2005, 05:36 PM
:confused: Second floor?

Obviously she didn't know how to tuck and roll. :D



She didn't want to spill her drink in the roll :devilish:

cherrypie7788
01-18-2005, 05:41 PM
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

LMAO

Aqua
01-18-2005, 05:51 PM
Yup Lil, it's those famous last words... 'Watch this!'

thereIam
01-19-2005, 03:18 AM
Ummm, er, about that panda thingy ...

Whose name is the offspring going to use, the vets name or the pandas?

Just thought I'd ask.