Sexual Coming of Age

[Lilith]

This thread does not refer to the time in your teen years when you are figuring out where your parts are and what happens when you play with them. I'm wondering if other members have ever reached or seen someone they know reach a period in their lives where they have become more sexually aware and attractive to others possibly due to that awareness.

This is what got me thinking about it....

Mr. Lil is most likely the most shy reserved person I have ever known, yet over the past year we have been extremely communicative sexually and really delved deeper into exploring. In the past month there have been 3 very visible situations arrise where women have seriously came on to him in front of me. I love this because it sends him flushing and blushing like maddddd :D The fun part is that he responded to them, jokingly, sweetly, but without his usual reservation. To me it is as if he is exuding a new sexual confidence that I'm not sure he possessed before and others are taking notice of it.

Does this make any sense? Have any of you ever seen it our experienced it before?

[osuche]

Mr. Osuche is still oblivious...but I know what you mean. I was kinda going for this angle when I posted this:

http://www.pixies-place.com:81/forums/showthread.php?t=22887&highlight=sexual+awakening

On a seperate note, I am so happy for you and Mr. Lil :D

[imaginewithme]

That is very exciting Lilith!

I think that when you are more sexual, you seem to be more confident with yourself. I have noticed that of myself anyway and people pick up on it.

[WildIrish]

I think it was around July of 2003. I discovered Pixies, and some of the people here have encouraged me to see that there's a side of me that can be sexy. It does make a difference in the way I interact with others.

[OziJuggalo]

i use to have a very low self asteam still do to a point but i found this site and another and started posting and i think it starts with just posting in a forum that help me then i took a shot and posted a pic or 2 and with th comments that built me self asteam so hi that ppl did notice my mates noticed i started chatting to more ppl even got my self a girlfriend cause of it i carried my self well and with pride but my girl had no real low self asteem not good 1 and thinks the way to build that up is to let guys have sex with her and she brought mine down and dumped me cause of it but its back up now and im building my confidence back i did some growing up last year but every year is a new learning lession but im not as shy as i use to be thanks to forums like these

[cowgirltease]

Yes I'm seeing it every day in Darogle. I just kick back and watch and see how he reacts. I see him smile more, walk prouder, and this gorgeous man is coming out of his shell like a lil kid who has just gotten permission to play with the fun people. I see him laughing and having a good time with out me, meeting people I don't know.It great! I hope he as a blast. I see hi let go of his inhibitions

[Loulabelle]

This phenomenon definitely exists.....it's the same reason that as soon as you get into a relationship with someone new, all of a suden every guy on the planet seems to want a piece of you.....the only times I've ever been whistled at on the street was when I'd just lost my virginity and I was feeling like a goddess! :D

[cowgirltease]

Well I'm sure you couldn't understand the last part I wrote. :rolleyes2: I fell asleep after taking a sleeping pill. What I meant to say is he's letting go of his inhibitions. He's more confident now and I hope he's having a blast. :p
(Sorry I was on night shift.)

[GingerV]

Oh absolutely. It's the proof to the oft made assertion that NOTHING is as sexy as confidence.

[LixyChick]

Awwwwwww! This is a fun thread! I don't have a personal experience to share...but I've enjoyed reading all of the above! TYVM for sharing the moments...and TY for the smile Lil!

[OziJuggalo]

i think being in a realationship with some 1 you love and care about and some 1 you know feels the same way about you does build your confidence as well i know mine did alot but then you brake up and it all gets washed away to a point

[osuche]

As far as I am concerned, it's all inter-related. A sexual feedback loop, really. When I feel sexy, I am more outgoing....and I am aware that I also walk in a certain way, and dress in a certain way, and look at others with a certain sexual "challenge" in my eyes.

I am not ~ by any stretch of the imagination ~ the most gorgeous woman. But when I act in the above manner, I get noticed. A lot. By whole ranges of men, some of whom are surely out of my league. :) Just last night, I got asked out at the gym (by a real muscular hottie who was surely younger than me) and (slightly less impressive) the Chipotle guy. :D Probably because I wasn't wearing my wedding ring (it was being cleaned) ~~ but it happens more than you'd think.

Of course, being noticed pumps up my self-esteem even more. :D Hence the positive feedback loop. I have whole weeks ~ even months ~ when I am "on." Then something happens (I get tired, sick, stressed, etc) and the loop breaks. But after a few weeks, it's normally re-instated.

[OziJuggalo]

yeah thats how i feel when im going ou and i realy get dressed up for it i feel like i have power and self confidence when i wear a shirt and tie but i dont get the chance to wear them much but i feel like if im dressed nice i feel better about my self and it does boost my self asteam up more but Im a Juggalo so most the time im dressed pretty scrubie and i sit around the house alot so forums and posting posative stuff builds it as well

[Mae]

After pondering this thread, I think you could say that I'm still pretty sexually naive. I know of things and have done some racy things...but it is in the past, and I feel like I'm in a limbo of non-learning. Does that make sense?

[Lilith]

After pondering this thread, I think you could say that I'm still pretty sexually naive. I know of things and have done some racy things...but it is in the past, and I feel like I'm in a limbo of non-learning. Does that make sense?
Perfect sense Mae. I think for me there was the young "oooooooooo this is how my parts work and damn, I can really do a lot more than I thought with them". Then I too went through a dormant period. I had good sex and enjoyed it. I consider this my "practice" phase. But there was a point when all of a sudden I started feeling confident in my sexual abilities, and being curious about my personal desires. I think Mr. Lil is there now too.

[Mae]

That's wonderful Lil! :)

[cherrypie7788]

I didn't become confident in my abilities until just recently...but I think I had a sexual coming of age around 17/18 or so. During my earlier teen years I think I saw sex as more of a game, something to do to make yourself seem more like an adult. :rolleyes2 of course that's a completely absurd thought to me now, and I hope that if I ever have children that they don't go through that.

Around 17, I realized that you didn't have sex or give boys blowjobs to IMPRESS people, and at the same time I began to view sex as what it really is and SHOULD be. Does that make any sense?? That was my sexual coming of age.

I have a very relaxed and natural attitude toward sex and always have, so I'm able to keep a more innocent attitude about the entire thing.

[kathy1]

Unfortunately, my "coming of age" (or is that cumming of age?) didn't happen until last year with the split. Da ex was about as sexual as a bowl of oatmeal!!!! In my head, I was the sexual creature i am now, but i think years of oatmeal sorta squelched that. And add to it, his obvious abuse....and top it all off with the way he acted about my bisexuality......it was all just a mess.
Early last year, I was lucky enough to have a brief relationship with a man that let me be me between the sheets......come to think of it, he let me be me in everything and that right there may have been the key. Since then, I no longer hide my sexuality and with that, both the confidence and the attention from others has increased. Osuche is right, there is a loop to it all. And sumpin else i've noticed, the more that you are a freely sexual creature (and i don't mean by screwing everybody in sight, just in attitude), the more open and comfortable others become around you. A couple of months ago, four of us girls from the office went away for a weekend to a beer festival.....after the festival, we went to a bar and started playing truth or dare... and all the questions were of a sexual nature.....one of the questions asked to me was if i had ever been with a woman....man, oh man, did they all get real interested when i quite freely said yes and that i loved it......asked alllllll kinds of questions about it, wanted some details.......but up till then, i woulda sworn that they would have been of the "ewwwww" variety about same sex stuff.