threesome rules

[silentsoul]

Ok, at this point in my wife and I's relationship, a threesome is still in the good ole spank bank, that's it. However whenever we get on the subject she somehow reminds me that the 2nd girl going to be there to please her and only her.

So my question to you all I guess is say that you are going to have a threesome with your s/o and someone else, how far would you want your s/o to go with someone else.

I know that I wouldn't exactly want to see some other guy nail my wife so I can totally understand that she doesn't want me to fuck the chick that we'd be with. Personally, I don't have any desire to be with anyone else so that doesn't bother me. What about you? Would you want to have your s/o go down on someone, I could handle that.

peace

[Lilith]

It is my opinion that when you feel the necessity to make rules and restrictions on what is and what is not permissible based on your own baggage then it's best for the idea to remain in the "spank bank".

[Cheyanne]

It is my opinion that when you feel the necessity to make rules and restrictions on what is and what is not permissible based on your own baggage then it's best for the idea to remain in the "spank bank".


Ditto!!

[osuche]

No rules. No harm, no foul. However, I can't say Mr. Osuche agrees with me.

I've never been a jealous or posessive person ~~ if anything I tend to err in the other direction. ;)

[cowgirltease]

If I thought he was gonna go chase another piece of meat, no I wouldn't go there.
But if you TRUST one another and he knows who's he's going home with and waking up with in the morning then HELL YEAH!

[PantyFanatic]

Sorry folks. :( It just doesn’t sound like you’re ready for it for only each others pure pleasure.

Give it time until then.

[Loulabelle]

I'm with Lil on this one, too.

And it's probably the reason I've never had a threesome.....the time people and mental mindset have never all been right at the same moment. Perhaps one day.....

[lonelyarmywife]

I kinda disagree. i think there need to be clear rules set up between the two of you in advance to eliminate jealousy that could ruin alot of realtionships. This kind of thing takes alot of trust between you and your partner.

[Oldfart]

It takes an arrogance I don't have to think that your SO is going to rub naughty bits

with someone else and not make comparisons.

After making comparisons comes thinking on comparisons.

After the thinking comes the behaviour modification.

Who do I prefer? Will I be with that person again?

Who does my SO now prefer?

Will this have any effect on global warming?

[Sharni]

Discuss what you both want from the 3sum.....Ya gotta be set on the rules before hand....that is a must...and do not deviate from them

We did a MMF 3sum years ago and gotta say thoroughly enjoyed the experience....and we are all still all bestest buddies with no jealousy at all

I do not compare Bilbo and the other....never have...i enjoyed the experience for what it was.....sex...nothing more...nothing less

[cherrypie7788]

It seems to me that your wife is being pretty selfish, actually. If she trusted you, it wouldn't be an issue. I have to agree with everyone else, maybe you aren't ready at this point.

[Sharni]

Selfish....hmmm well i must be too.....because initially that is what i'm looking for too

Bilbo is quite happy to watch or touch me only....trust nor selfishness is not anyone elses place to judge....you do what you both want to do....your the ones that have to be involved and deal with it afterwards

[cherrypie7788]

And BTW--NO I would not be comfortable with watching my SO "go down" on someone else if he told me the other person was there for HIM and HIM only. Not that I would necessarily even want to be with the other person, just the idea of him telling me that would kill any possibility of a threesome.

[Roostah]

not that I've ever been in one...

but I think that if I were to have one, the important part is sharing - I don't think it would be fair to use this third person as some kind of sex toy for just one of you... I think it'd be better to try to include everyone at all times or at least take turns everyone with each other...

[cherrypie7788]

I wasn't trying to step on your toes, Sharni :x: That's just my opinion. Only you know your relationship with your husband and how it works for you guys. In my case, though, I just wouldn't be comfortable with it and I would see my SO as being a bit selfish. That remark wasn't directed toward you, sorry if it upset.

[Sharni]

it would be fair to use this third person as some kind of sex toy for just one of you....
But thats what they are...well for me

I'm in a long term relationship...i dont want to really want them permanantly involved in that....i'd want them there for sex and thats it

The important thing for me is that everyone knows their part BEFORE the 3sum gets going

[Sharni]

I wasn't trying to step on your toes, Sharni :x: That's just my opinion.
But you did...no biggie

You assumed and stated that you thought his wife to be selfish :)

[Roostah]

But thats what they are...well for me

I'm in a long term relationship...i dont want to really want them permanantly involved in that....i'd want them there for sex and thats it

The important thing for me is that everyone knows their part BEFORE the 3sum gets going


that's a very good point that I never thought about...

so then is it better to have the third person be a friend or some random person? (taking copious notes :-P)

[nikki1979]

ive had a few 3 somes and moresomes, i never had rules, but i also wasnt in love wanyone involed just dating / screwing them . id LUV to have one w hubby but i wuddnt want to be the only one recieving, i wud LUV to see him down on or in another girl. actually id luv to go down on the girl while he was in her !!!! now that wud be fun , i think u only need rules if theres a specific sexual thing u dont want don to urself , i sont think its fair to say well let a girl in but she can only do me and not u.

~nikki

[Pita]

Oh a topic I know something about. :D

Like everyone says it takes lots of trust and talking. Every couple is different and they better know what they are wanting before they go bringing in another person to their "bedroom."

With the couple we play with the woman doesn't want her man playing with me. We knew their rules before hand and totally respected them. I have no jealousy watching my man do anything with her but that is me.

We are currently looking to do some MFM fun. We talk alot about what we will and won't do. Like Stud doesn't want to see me kissing a man and I respect his wishes and won't do that.

To us we see adding another person or couple into our sex life as a way to enhance what we already have with each other. Much like sex toys or watching porn. Granted we are talking about real people and we would never just use someone without taking into account what they are wanting and making sure we are all compatiable and comfortable with each other.

Again make sure you both really want this. Years ago I tried to do this just to please my hubby and that backfired on us both. If you both don't really want it its best to just keep it in fantasy. :)

[Gekko]

Silent, I was where you are now, about 6 months ago. Since then, we decided to just "go for it" during a drunken night of debauchery with my gf's friend. Before that, I had posted threads similar to this one. But it was fun, and as someone else said, the other person that you're adding wont (or shouldn't) come between the 2 of you if you're in a sound relationship. I know for us, it was a lot of fun, we can say we did it, and we do plan on doing it again, although with a random girl, not her friend. (We just put up an add at a local dildo barn for swingers) They can be fun, but I say be secure and confident of your relationship before doing it.

[wyndhy]

as long as i was cool with it in the first place, felt sure that i would not loose any love or respect for him and vice-versa, there would'nt be rules. i have a feeling that if we ever did try a threesome it would be pretty tame the first time around anyway; the more we did it the bolder we would get. the progression of its' beginning as an experiment to becomiing a more frequent...er... part of our sex life (and as i typed that wording i realized i think that's the key here. that's a threeesome is part of your sex life not your home life) anyway, it would give us the chance to get a feel for our likes/hates along the way.

[silentsoul]

Well the situation with my wife is a little different than what would normally be called a 3sum. Like I said, I have absolutely no interest in being with someone else, neither does she. I wouldn't mind being with someone enough to experience a big breasted woman. One of her previous lovers happened to be "damn near as thick as a soda can" (in her words) which she has admitted to liking. The thing that we BOTH want though is for her to be with a woman. I would be there just for comfort, support, and a second set of tongue and fingers for her enjoyment.

My opinion personally, a threesome is a death sentence for a relationship if entered into without total and complete trust. I'll be the first to admit that my wife and I aren't ready for a threesome.

[WildIrish]

(We just put up an add at a local dildo barn for swingers)



Dildo barn? :confused: :D

[Archon]

The thing that we BOTH want though is for her to be with a woman. I would be there just for comfort, support, and a second set of tongue and fingers for her enjoyment. What was the problem again?

[Stinger]

My wife swapped partners 5 years ago for a week. You need to set boundaries and have full trust in your S/O.
Some rules we had were.
1. HAD TO USE A CONDOM and the men were not allow to cum being inside the wife incase the condom broke anyway.
2. No anal. That is something that we only want to keep for each other.

Other than that....anything was open if both parties agreed. It is something that we have discussed again and I am hoping that it would be something we could share together this time. We will see.