Irish
12-13-2004, 12:25 AM
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta
it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan'sIsland can make a radio
out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for
the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask
where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!
11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by
a mouse?
16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
17. Stop singing and read on ...
18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in
your butt?
20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?
I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta
it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there
a song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan'sIsland can make a radio
out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for
the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask
where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours? They're both dogs!
11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by
a mouse?
16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
17. Stop singing and read on ...
18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in
your butt?
20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?