Defining Moments...

[osuche]

Hypothetical situation:

If you had 18 months left to live, what THREE changes would you make in your life? Think about the things you've always wanted to do....but never had the guts to carry out.

What would you do?

[osuche]

I'll go first:

1. I'd have kids....and videotape my next 18 months so they had a little piece of me. Think "My Life" ~ except Michael Keaton is sexier :)

2. I'd quit my job and start raising money to found a for-profit company whith a dual mission of generating a profitable product and improving lives

3. I'd teach a class at the local HS and community college on career planning, resume writing, and job skills.

[Lilith]

no changes really...I live everyday gratefully

3 things I would do???


1) Record stories, songs, and books for my children and their children.

2) Write letters/journals to the people I love but most of all be with them, in the moment, in the here, in the now.

3) Make sure Mr. Lil and the boys had closer relationships with extended family.

Funny this thread....tonight I laid with my little one who earlier in the evening had asked me to marry him and be his mother forever, in his bed, discussing death. He is realizing I will die and leave him some day, no matter how much neither of us want that. Such a scary time. He mentioned a teacher, my grandmother and even STO having died and that he hopes scientists will hurry up and find a way for people to live longer. Kids amaze me. They wrestle with things that are beyond the grasp of adults yet their solutions are often the most practical.

[osuche]

He is realizing I will die and leave him some day, no matter how much neither of us want that. Such a scary time. He mentioned a teacher, my grandmother and even STO having died and that he hopes scientists will hurry up and find a way for people to live longer.


Exactly, Lil. I was thinking of my father tonight...who died at 36...an age that I am rapidly approaching. I was wondering (1) what would he have done if he lived longer? and (2) what would I have wanted for myself when I was his age?

I think so many of us live inside our heads and not actively in the world around us....and I am guilty of that upon occasion.

[lizzardbits]

This is a great thread that made me really think.

1. I would spend as much time as i could with my kids and we would travel around spending time with my grandparents, parents, other relatives and my friends. i would write all our adventures in two books for each child.

2. I would travel outside of the USA and see all the places in the world i have always wanted to see. (I would pay extra special attention to England, and my man :D )

3. Then, with what time i had not being occupied with the above, i'd hotrod and customize my 1964 Ford Galaxie 500 that is currently waiting for some attention from me. It is sitting, sadly waiting, in my grandparent's barn.

[LixyChick]

I'd absolutely hate knowing WHEN I was going to die because I know, no matter how brave I tried to be, I'd waste some precious time on a pity party...and that would be a pity!

That said...

I'd give all my worldly material possessions to the people I love. There would be a will if I didn't know WHEN I was going to die...but, since I do, I'd like to give them the stuff while I am here to see them accept and enjoy it.

I would travel with my husband to a few of the places we know and love, and then on to the places we've talked about visiting.

In order to pay for the aforementioned trips, so as not to burden my husband when I am gone, I'd finish that book I've been working on for ages, and with my last strengths and efforts, I'd find a publisher to market it. The monies would, of course, go to my husband.

[WildIrish]

I'd spend my remaining time surrounded by the people I love. We'd all laugh, cry, toast marshmallows & stay up past our bedtimes.

And I'd have people from Habitat build my coffin. I think that would be fitting, don't you? Someone remember to put a sheepskin inside for me? And a bucket of beach sand & some sea glass?

[wyndhy]

am i still broke?...cause that would change things. could i be dying but i won the lottery, maybe?? :D

[imaginewithme]

Oh my gosh, I am crying reading this thread. I dont know what I would do. I would say that in the last 4 years, my life has revolved around feeling better health wise and then trying to conceive without any luck, but if I had a baby, I'd hate for it to live it's life without me. So, I won't pick that to be one of things.
I just can't stop crying! What a baby I am!
1. I would for sure, want the people I love to realize how much I love them and what they mean to me, so when I do leave, they'll always have that special moment to carry with them.
2. I would want to travel to meet someone I am close to and thank them and hug them for every smile.
3. I would want to make sure Mr. IWM will be taken care of and not be sad.

I have a simple life, I am a simple person. I don't want much of anything. I guess it's just all about love with me.

[osuche]

That's what I wanted to make you all do....THINK. The first two were easy for me. The third took some soul searching to reach. Now, the next question is:

**If those things would make you happy, why don't you do them now?** (and, no, Lixy...I am not advocating you give up all your stuff. ;) )

[osuche]

Lilith and lizzardbits: When my father died, I discovered that he wrote weekly letters to his best friends, a couple who he grew to love when he was in college. They have shared those letters with me, and those stories, poems, jokes, and thoughts have been the closest thing I had to knowing my father as an adult. I highly recommend you spend some time putting your thoughts down for your kids.

Lixy: I've never much been into posessions, and giving mine away would be one of the first things I'd do, too. Some pieces are just "meant" for certain recipients, and I'd love to give them personally.

WI: Now you'll understand why I say we have some common philosophies. My ideal wedding would be to invite a small group of people I love (some blood relatives, some not) to a set of cabins by the lake for a long weekend of late night chat sessions and lots of hugs.

wyndhy: You can't take it with you. :)

imaginewithme: When you boil it down, the world is really about people, and love. You obviously know this.

[imaginewithme]

imaginewithme: When you boil it down, the world is really about people, and love. You obviously know this.


Wow, thank you very much. That means a lot to hear. This really got me good not having an answer or knowing what I want.

[wyndhy]

wyndhy: You can't take it with you. :)


no, but I can leave the little I have got to my kids ;)
1. i would write the novel that's been rattling around in my head.
2. i would build something, a tree house or a play house, with my kids. even though one is certainly too young to remember and the other may or may not be, and neither would be much help. it would be fun and feel...satisfying and i would know that i played a part in their childhood even though i missed it. .
3. this would have been to visit Wales so here's my new #3: i would paint and draw and throw clay and try to get shown in a gallery.

(i’m seeing some kind of immortality theme here...interesting)

[Cobalt]

1. Fulfill every fantasy that I can think of.
2. Do the things that I have always wanted to do, but could never afford to(don't have to worry about paying it back)
3. Free up some valuable oxygen for those that are worthy of it, if you get my meaning.

[maddy]

This is a tough one, I read this before I headed out to work in the morning and it tossed about lazily in my mind much of the day, but here's what I've come up with...

1) Sit for and pass the CPA exam so my Dad could always having bragging rights to his CPA daughter .. it was my goal at 17, and at 30, I'm not quite there yet, but closer now than I've ever been. It would also allow me to know that I've accomplished a major goal and dream within my lifetime.

2) I would at a minimum write a letter to each person that has touched my life at some point to let them know that they are still thought of and that I hope they are well... given the time and money I'd make an effort to hand deliver each letter.

3) Really an extension to #2, but when I wrote #2 I originally was not thinking of family members but others that have passed through my life... so... I would try to have a face to face conversation with my sister and let her know that while we have gone totally opposite directions that I often needed her for that big sister advice, and while I'm disappointed that she's accepted that she doesn't need her family that I would really want her to realize that as nice as picking your relatives seems, you must accept those you have and encourage her to mend the relationships that she's ruined.

{edited to add an attempted response to the follow up question from osuche} ... why haven't I done these things... excellent question! I've been working (and continue to) on #1, and know that I will accomplish this soon enough. As for the other two, I don't know, I guess for #2, I pray that those same people know that they were important for what ever purpose to me and that I'm thought of by them from time to time as well ... and #3, I've not been able to compose myself for the confrontation and know that I would remain rational and unexplosive so in the meantime I've just hoped she would come to her senses. I've attempted at this ... though it was 8 years ago, I'm probably a small bit wiser and patient now.

[Lilith]

For the first 7 years of my children's lives I wrote love letters to them beginning at the moment I knew they existed, sometimes daily but mostly 2-3 times a week. I have no qualm about letting the people in my lives know how important they are. I would write the letters for them and not for me. I see two main lines of thought here....things people would do for themselves and things people would do for the other people in their lives. I also think that speaks a lot about people's philosophies.

[Oldfart]

1. Meet more Pixies and revisit the other.

2. Like most here, write "my" novel.

3. Spend more time with family.

[lizzardbits]

you are right, i do need to do some of these things now, such as write down the kids stories. Sometimes the ol' baby book isn't enough. But i am spending more time with my daughter than i used to, and we travel a bit more frequently than we used to, since her brother lives with the kids' father. So we drive 201miles to visit at least twice a month.

then traveling the world, i get to make my first big trip this summer to England! Yea! *does the happy dance* so that will be happening with in 6 months

but, alas, my '64 has to continue to wait until i am back out of college and into the workforce for real. poor college student

i actually have a nice little mental list of things that i would like to accomplish in my life, that i seem to be checking things off of regularly! But then this list also leaves me time to get them done by the time i am 90. so this thread was great to make me think of shortening my time line and work a bit faster at getting them done way sooner! Love, Lizz:D