Am I doing something wrong?

[fish4life2002]

I'm a young guy (20) who has a lot going for him. I've got an Associates Degree in Computer Network Systems and am going back for my Bachelors in Information Security Systems (yes computer geek here), I've got a good job working on computers for a large corporation here in Orlando, Florida and I've been told I'm good looking by a lot of older women. Is there something that I'm doing wrong or not doing regarding a relationship with someone around my age but of the female sex? I haven't had a good dating experience as of yet and have slept with one girl so far in life (it wasn't very good) so now I'm in search of someone; whether it be someone to have a relationship with for sometime to come or may it be someone to have a physcial relationship with. I don't understand what I am doing to "repel" or not attract anyone, it seems there is something about me that turns the switch to "OFF" and I can't turn it back on with any woman. Hints? Suggestions? Know someone who is looking for a good guy in Central Florida and likes to be taken care of in a genuine way? I would consider myself a good catch, yes I have my flaws but doesn't everyone?

Thank you for your help!

[Loulabelle]

You seem like a cutie to me, and are evidently a very intelligent guy, but unfortunately, in life, it's not about 'switches' and things you do to 'attract' and 'repel' other people.

It's important to remember that women are people, and are individuals too, so the fact that you appear to be looking for a woman who is attracted to you, rather than one to whom your attracted may be counting against you. If you go on a date with a woman and she gets the impression that you're only interested in her because she's female, rather than because she's charming, witty, intelligent, attractive etc she's not going to want to take it further.

It may be that the women you encounter you are genuinely attracted to, in which case, the important thing is to communicate this to them. While women will value the fact that you're a clever guy, and that you have a good job in computers, you'll not be surprised to hear that most women aren't interested in hearing about them when they're out on a date with you. What will engage their attention is your ability to be charming, socially adept and a little flirtatious. Guys who haven't mastered those things, come across as very nervous, and that's unnerving to a lot of women...it makes us uncomfortable, for obvious reasons and if we go on a date that isn't actually enjoyable because we feel uncomfortable, we're not likely to be coming back for more.

The thing you have to remember, though, is that you're still very young, and that most 'quality guys' your age are having a lot less sex and a lot fewer relationships than you think. I know so many guys who were still virgins at your age, and older, it's just not something that they broadcast about, so don't feel that you're the only one and take the pressure off yourself. The best thing to do is get on with enjoying yourself, single or not, and gain some life experience which will help to shape you into an even more interesting person, and then, when you've forgotten all about trying to attract women, is when one who'll come along who's just perfect for you.

[wyndhy]

hi fish4life2002 :wave: what ^^ she said :D (smart woman that lou, you oughta take her advice) plus this one question...what's your hurry? don't wish your life away or pine for things that, in the long run, you'll come to realize you ended up settling for. wait, relax, and most of all, don't look too hard. they always say you won't find it if you're looking and i think that's basically true.

[fish4life2002]

Loulabelle, thank you so much for your kind words! And your advice, it helps me a lot. I guess my main fiasco at the moment is that most of the people I associate myself with are older than I am, by 5+ years and they have education, career and significant other, I'm just jumping the gun I guess. Half of me wishes that I had someone but the other half is enjoying the single scene but I would enjoy an occasional date here and there to keep the communication up to speed. Wyndhy, thanks for your advice as well, I am trying to slow down and not worry about things, sometimes I go thru little spurts where I wish I had someone and dwell on that fact and others I'm perfectly fine. Pixies has helped a great deal and all the great people that post here are a huge impact on how I go about life. Thank you and keep the advice coming! I appreciate every piece of it!