Huh?????

[kathy1]

For those who remember my earlier thread about my dating woes....thought you might get a laugh outa this. I recently put myself on a local dating site, just for the hell of it and not really expecting much to come from it. Anyway, got three "hits" on there recently....

1) A 19 yr old virgin college student looking for an older woman to "break him in".....(can't i just have one that's already housebroken?)

2) A married man who was looking for "looking for a little extra spice on the side".......(so what does that make me? Mrs. Dash?)

3) A newly seperated transexual who is going thru a sex change procedure and even tho he's technically still male, he lists himself (herself?) as a lesbian on his profile.......(now let me get this straight: he likes pussy, obviously wants pussy....his own and somebody elses.... oh hell, i'm so confused)


Sure beats the heck outa those "loves walking on the beach" ones, huh?

[TinTennessee]

Kathy, thanks I feel so much better now. I thought I was the only one that had "loosers only" tattooed on my forehead! lol

[joys]

Kathy, you are a beautiful lady and it is not surprising for a lady like you to get such comments.

[PantyFanatic]

......Sure beats the heck outa those "loves walking on the beach" ones, huh?
ROFLMFAO:grin:

Does that site have a link to the Jerry Springer show?

[wyndhy]

ROFLMFAO:grin:

Does that site have a link to the Jerry Springer show?
the transexual *was* jerry springer :rolleyes:

well, kathy1, i'd say you got your kicks. rotfl

[kathy1]

UPDATE: I politely messaged them all back saying how flattered I was (cough cough), and that I just wasn't interested. Wellll, lo and behold, this morning, I find an e-mail from married man.....he actually said he thought his marriage would be over soon and could we still get together :bang: :bang: ......*smacks self in the forehead*....oh give me a fuckin' break!!!!!

[Catch22]

A truck pulls up outside the Kathy1 house with Acme on the side. "Did you order a Fuckin Break Kit ma'am?"

[blkcat]

that's the break i like,most people want coffee or smoke breaks. :sex:

[osuche]

Kathy_1 ~ I understand. Why do you think I married Mr. Osuche? I realized that there were no other good men available who (1) had good sense, (2) had jobs, (3) weren't married or gay, and (4) had all their teeth.

Good luck finding the needle in the haystack! :D :D :D

BTW ~ I am just kidding......but I do understand your frustration.

[WildIrish]

So that "lesbian in a man's body" line doesn't work?

[Catch22]

Would a lesbian transexual shave their legs?

[Mercury_Maniac]

at least you get some messages,


i've gotten maybe 2 or 3 on Adult Friend Finder in the last year and only fags are interested even though my profile says i'm straight

i get a few winks from some ladies on there but thats it and they aren't even from this area :(

[Aqua]

[QUOTE=osuche]I realized that there were no other good men available who (1) had good sense, (2) had jobs, (3) weren't married or gay, and (4) had all their teeth.
[QUOTE]
Hmmmmm... *Goes through the checklist*
(1)Uhm... very debateable. The Mrs would say no.
(2)Check
(3)oops, Married.
(4)Damn... missing 1.

Soooooo... 1 out of 4 pretty much disqualifies me, huh?

What was the website called? :p

[WildIrish]

Would a lesbian transexual shave their legs?


Not a European one. :D

[Catch22]

So how does a redneck get a gal if he needs teeth and a job?

[WildIrish]

So how does a redneck get a gal if he needs teeth and a job?

Shake the family tree?

[Catch22]

Falling out of the tree must be how they lose the teeth!

[wyndhy]

Falling out of the tree must be how they lose the teeth!
lmao

[PantyFanatic]

Falling out of the tree must be how they lose the teeth!
No. He fell out of the tree whe he was told to go rake leaves. :rolleyes:





;)

[OzKristin]

when I registered at one of those places (more to find friends more than relationships) I got MANY older gentlemen..while I like older men, some just gave me the wrong impressions lol, and when I emailed with them, they were NOT just in it for friendship after all lol oh well

[WildIrish]

No. He fell out of the tree whe he was told to go rake leaves. :rolleyes:





;)

don't bring osuche into this :D

[osuche]

<-- Has seen TONS of men with bad teeth and VERY nice trucks in TN.....and might climb a tree to get away from one. ;)

[Belial]

Kathy_1 ~ I understand. Why do you think I married Mr. Osuche? I realized that there were no other good men available who (1) had good sense, (2) had jobs, (3) weren't married or gay, and (4) had all their teeth.

Good luck finding the needle in the haystack! :D :D :D

BTW ~ I am just kidding......but I do understand your frustration.

(1) Nope
(2) Nope
(3) Yep
(4) Yeah, but horribly crooked...

So that's 1.5/4?

[osuche]

(1) Nope
(2) Nope
(3) Yep
(4) Yeah, but horribly crooked...

So that's 1.5/4?

LMAO. Better score than the aforementioned men in TN

[Belial]

Oh yeah. I put myself on one of those sites. Sometimes I forget that due to the complete lack of correspondance. So call me a loser I guess.

[kathy1]

at least you get some messages,


i've gotten maybe 2 or 3 on Adult Friend Finder in the last year and only fags are interested even though my profile says i'm straight

i get a few winks from some ladies on there but thats it and they aren't even from this area :(

:hug: that surprises me

[kathy1]

Ooops...almost forgot to add yet another update....man, i need to do sumpin about my kharma on that site.....last night's "hit" was a 20yr old, satanic, goth, lesbian from NYC who's willing to relocate for the right woman......ya know, suddenly this bag of batteries ain't lookin' so bad after all LOL


(P.S. Sugarsprinkles has seen this stuff....I swear i"m not makin' this up....and that izzzz the really sad part)

[Sugarsprinkles]

That's absolutely true! I have seen the hit's that kathy1 has gotten on that site. Totally weird!! :yikes: She's definitely not making any of this up.


At the rate she's going the next response will be from a :baa:...........or maybe a :fish:

[Lilith]

At the rate she's going the next response will be from a :baa:...........or maybe a :fishy:
Pass either or both of those my way:D

[osuche]

Pass either or both of those my way:D


Big surprise...Lil has a love affair with :fishy:


LMAO :p :D :p WHat does one do with a fish in bed? ;)

[Catch22]

Big surprise...Lil has a love affair with :fish:


LMAO :p :D :p WHat does one do with a fish in bed? ;)


Feed it to pussy! Or stick it in the toothless mouth of a snoring Tennessee guy!

[WildIrish]

Pass either or both of those my way:D

LMFAO

[Aqua]

LMFAO next to ^^^^

Hey WI... is there any popcorn left?

[Lilith]

I'll pop your corn.....:fish::spank::baa:

[WildIrish]

LMFAO next to ^^^^

Hey WI... is there any popcorn left?


Maybe a little. :bite:

[Aqua]

You know... I am one of those people that like to stick out their tongue and let the popcorn stick to it before pulling it back into my mouth... *leans over for some popcorn*

[Lilith]

/me gets all tingly


:hump:

[WildIrish]

I can no longer read the message next to that AV.










Without gettin a stiffy! :D

[Aqua]

The thing with popcorn is... even though it gets stuck in my teeth, once I start I can't seem to stop unitl I am at the bottom of the bag. :slurp:

[WildIrish]

You dirty birdy! :D

[OzKristin]

someone say popcorn? *looks around* mmm, w/ lots and lots of butter drippin everywhere..this could get messy! lmao

[Aqua]

I noticed some butter here... but it was some kind of weird white/clear sticky butter... :eek:

[WildIrish]

That's the butter that comes in the pump style container. :D

[Sugarsprinkles]

Hey Kathy1!! Any new hits on that dating site? I'm dying to see how much worse it can get. :shock:

[kathy1]

Who cares? I'm waiting for popcorn!!!!

[Sugarsprinkles]

Damn this Low Carb Diet!!:rant:








I want popcorn too.....................................with lots of extra WI butter :D

[fredchabotnick]

That's absolutely true! I have seen the hit's that kathy1 has gotten on that site. Totally weird!! :yikes: She's definitely not making any of this up.

At the rate she's going the next response will be from a :baa:...........or maybe a :fish:

I'm not sure which is worse, getting no hits or the wierd ones. I'm good at getting none, I'm thinking the humor value of the whack-jobs would make it worth getting some of those...

[kathy1]

*smacks self in the forehead*....and i thought it couldn't possibly get any worse.....today's offering was a fairly nice looking fella....profile seemed ok....his message was friendly enough.......so what was bugging me?.....could it be the TALL fence with the razor wire stretched across the top? ....or was it the guys in the orange jumpsuits in the background?....or maybe the guntower?......or perhaps the guards standing off to the side? (least one of them had a cute ass LOL)

[WildIrish]

:yikes:

[Aqua]

Here kathy... *reaches into the popcorn bag*... can I offer you some popcorn?

It's got extra butter!

[Loulabelle]

Oh Kathy!

Personally I'd give my right arm to be able to 'train up' the virgin, but that's just me! LOL

I can sympathise with your plight - we've all been there, but don't worry, someone will come along when you're least expecting it. x

[Catch22]

*smacks self in the forehead*....and i thought it couldn't possibly get any worse.....today's offering was a fairly nice looking fella....profile seemed ok....his message was friendly enough.......so what was bugging me?.....could it be the TALL fence with the razor wire stretched across the top? ....or was it the guys in the orange jumpsuits in the background?....or maybe the guntower?......or perhaps the guards standing off to the side? (least one of them had a cute ass LOL)


Orange jumpsuits are so last year.

[sodaklostsoul]

perhaps the guards standing off to the side? (least one of them had a cute ass LOL)

How big was his gun?!?!?!?! Sorry could'nt resist. ( Goes to check on the case of batteries I need to send kathy for xmas) <------I could have it delevered by a man in a brown jumpsuit!! ;o)~

[kathy1]

^^^^ohhhhh could ya make it that UPS guy that delivers to the office every day??????? Puhhhleeeeezzzzzzzzzzz???????

[Catch22]

So you need something in your orfice.... er office in the morning huh? :D

[kathy1]

got a package for me, do ya?....funny, but i don't remember ordering from acme

[Catch22]

Acme orfice drawers cleaning kit is on the way.

[kathy1]

ah, sumpin to unrattle me, eh?

[kathy1]

So, wtf is this? This morning i find 4 hits....ALLLLLL from married men!!!! Funny, but i don't remember putting a note on my profile there about having a convenient hole to prop every damn wandering dick in :rant: !!!!!!!!!! Geez, Louise!!!!

[osuche]

Kathy, some men can't keep the hand out of the cookie jar. I'm sure it's no reflection on you. ;)

[WildIrish]

I love cookies! Oatmeal raisin are probably my favorite but a nice white chocolate macadamia nut works in a pinch. Has anyone done a study to verify that married men like cookies more than single men?

[kathy1]

This post is more for clarification purposes than anything else....due to a couple of comments since I made that rant about married guys prowling on dating sites....lemme just say....that rant DID NOT APPLY TO THE WONDERFUL MEN OF PIXIES!!!!!!!....I love love you all just the way you are, with or without your sexy other halves. :grope:

[WildIrish]

Does this mean you're not making cookies? :(

[sodaklostsoul]

Cookies? What happened to the popcorn!!

[WildIrish]

Cookies? What happened to the popcorn!!


Too much fiber :rolleyes:


lmfao

[kathy1]

i waaaaant coooookies aaaaaaand popcorn!!!!!

[jseal]

kathy1,

Hey there little girlie, want some cookies?

Heh, heh, heh...

[kathy1]

oooooo, what flavor ya got? :slurp: me realllly likes the cream filled ones

[sodaklostsoul]

Too much fiber :rolleyes:


lmfao
Then just give me the protien!!! :slurp:

[kathy1]

Kathy_1 ~ I understand. Why do you think I married Mr. Osuche? I realized that there were no other good men available who (1) had good sense, (2) had jobs, (3) weren't married or gay, and (4) had all their teeth.

Good luck finding the needle in the haystack! :D :D :D

BTW ~ I am just kidding......but I do understand your frustration.


Osuche, just wanted to let you know I found my needle.

[osuche]

Osuche, just wanted to let you know I found my needle.


((((((kathy_1)))))))) ~~ Girlfriend, you know you just can't say THAT and not give me any damn details!!! :D :D :D

Seriously, I am so happy to hear it. Now I want the info!!!

[kathy1]

Osuche, sometime or the other, you've said to me how it will sneak up on me when i least suspect it. Oh right, you are, gf!!!!! And to think I found him here at pixies!!!!!!

[BigBear57]

Hey, it couldn't have happened to a nicee woman either. Enjoy it Hon.... hell maybe I oughtta start lookin' here.

[kathy1]

Hey, it couldn't have happened to a nicee woman either. Enjoy it Hon.... hell maybe I oughtta start lookin' here.

If I started selling bigbear tickets, i'd have the women at pixies lined up down the street, around the block and most of the way to the outer banks to get at ya........hell, i could retire early.

[sodaklostsoul]

Osuche, just wanted to let you know I found my needle.
:line:

You've been holding out on us!!!!! :devilish:

[Catch22]

He is tall. Very Southern. Likes cats. Has most of his teeth. :sun:

[sodaklostsoul]

:devilish:

[kathy1]

He is tall. Very Southern. Likes cats. Has most of his teeth. :sun:

A real down-home sorta boy, is he, eh?

:x:

[Oldfart]

Kathy1

Love him dearly, but leave enough in reserve to survive him stealing the lifeboat.

Have as much fun and adventure as you can cope, and don't forget to send PHOTOS!

[kathy1]

Oldfart

TY for the wise advice and I do love him dearly and should he ever decide to bail out and swim to higher ground, I really will be alright. I'm an old redneck and one hell of a survivor. And believe me, he izzzzz the grandest adventure I've ever been on.....uh, as for the photo's, that may not be a problem, either. LOL