The Usual Pest Larry Who Just Can't Stop

[LarryL]

It has just now come to my attention that I have hurt and continue to hurt someone so very, very special to me. Imaginewithme, I am so sorry for being so callas as not to see the distress I was causing. If ever I felt foolish, this is in the top five. I have caused you worry and be concerned far beyond normal. I am now pounding my head into the table.

As is evident, I am a drama queen (opps, I mean King). I start writing and I embellish and build and dramatize. I always go way too far and say way too much. When I wrote about my nervous breakdown and plans for suicide, I should have down played it. Better yet, I should have kept my stupid mouth shut in the first place. I just have to jabber and jabber like some old hen. Imaginewithme, I did not intend to paint such a graphic and drastic picture. I’m sorry. This idiot internet has become my life and I just put too much into it.

I am OK. Sure, I have suicide thoughts as a new part of my Major Depressive Disorder, but I must just learn to recognize their warning signs next time and stop myself sooner. I promised you that I would not kill myself, and I will keep that promise. Please relax a little about me. I’m just some nut in Washington trying to get by and figure stuff out as I go. I will not, not, not be so damn honest anymore. It gets me in trouble. In this case, it got you in trouble, and the last thing I want for you to be in trouble. So from here on in, I’m truckin alright. It’s all cool.

Peace,
Larry

[Lilith]

Larry,
I must admit your brazen confession hit me very hard as well. Many of the members here were going through a personal hell trying to deal with the aftermath of the unresolved feelings Skipthisone's suicide wrought only to have to profess your consideration of it s an option in dealing with your personal issues. I walked a thin line between wanting to hug you and slap the living shit out of you. I want you to be well, if it is so intense that you need treatment to deal with your issues then I wish you to get it and be successful! We want to help you shoulder your burdens but many of us are also trying to heal a very fresh wound. So as we give you support, we also must require it from you. That's what being part of a community is about, When you are weak, I'll be strong, and when I'm weak, (it will piss me right off but) I will need to depend on someone else. I am glad you are beginning to get to a point in your pain where you realize that your pain affects more than just you. That's progress!!!!!

[PantyFanatic]

Amen! :cool:

[BIBI]

Amen! :cool:

times two :wine:

[flutelady]

ditto :wine: :wine:

[flywater]

ditto times three ...... LarryL, you dont know me, but, I do have a good ear to listen and a bit of experience to suggest things!!! Please feel free to call on me if you need!!!

[Pita]

Very well said Lilith.

((((larry we love you))))))

[Coaster]

Well put Lil!!!

There's absolutely nothing I could add to that...

Be well Larry!

[fzzy]

If you need us LarryL we are here for you .... even if you are feeling a bit of a Drama moment! :)

[cowgirltease]

LarryL You come talk to me. I've been there done that. Yeah these people are still hurting but, I've been on the other side of that coin too. I can handle it. I'm here for you as well as these other people. But I do hope you are also getting professional help. Hang in there bud.

[imaginewithme]

OH Larry!!!!! I, too, am a drama queen and that's why we feed off of eachother!
I am ok! Don't worry about me hon. I am just your friend here on the other side of the states who has grown to care about you. That's what friends do. When a friend is down, the other is there to help them out the best way they can. I am not in trouble here, I have a big heart and I care. That's the worst trouble I have and hey, that's not so bad. I do care about you, I want you happy, no matter what you do in life. I want you to be able to one day count your blessings. I see how you have touched our lives here on the internet and I can only imagine how the people around you feel in your presense. Please, don't worry that you've hurt me. The day I don't ever hear from you again will be the day I am hurt. But, that should be the least of your worries. I am not here to cause anyone grief or heartache in any way. This is my escape from "reality" so to speak. But you can't help but care about people you learn about. Like Lilith said about STO...I didn't know him long, but I grew to like him VERY much in a short time and then wham...he's not around. Thanks a lot is what I want to say to that or "what about us".
Don't you worry your sweet head about how I am feeling. I care about you and love you so just deal with it. You're an amazing man and you make everyone here feel good. We all care about you and you just need to understand that and hold your head up knowing you have touched so many lives. What a wonderful thing to be able to do!
I'd hug you so tight if I were able to.
C'mon give me a smile...please?
Love ya,
Leah

I NEED TO ADD SOMETHING TO THIS...I was told that you think I am worrying about you too much and not my husband. This is not so and you know that. My husband and I have an awesome relationship. We are the best of friends. He knows my concern for you. You and I have become friends, friends care about what the others are feeling and doing. So, don't even think that way! Please.

[LarryL]

Your reassuring words are so very appreciaged. My depression disorder twisted everything around and I got all scared and I thought Lilith was mad at me and you and everyone else. It was horrible. God I hope my head gets back on straight again some day. Is there a manual for getting over a nervouse breakdown. I never wanted to hurt anyone.
Lillith helped me see that part of my game is that I put myself down in my posts and people say, "no, no." She says I'm an attention whore. I will stop putting myself down and see what happens. Love,
Larry

[cowgirltease]

Zig Zigler calls it stinkin thinkin. :D It's easy to say I can't, selfish to say I won't, and a person that says I WILL is the kind of person I wan't as a friend!
You know life gets easier when you change your attitude. Don't let the bastards get you down! God didn't put you on this earth to suffer! He wanted you to enjoy what he's created. :)

[GingerV]

It's all part of the process, Hon. I remember it well. Your brain is trying to twist everything to make your pain make sense. Don't believe it. You may not be able to replace the bad with good, positive messages yet. But at least accept that your poor, ill brain is making things much worse than they really are just now.

Life will make sense again when the clouds clear, for now just trust the people telling you they care.

Hang in there! We're all pulling for you.

[imaginewithme]

Everything is fine and you know we all luv ya! We're all friends here! Simple as that.

Can't help but care about your friends!

:hug: