View Full Version : LotR humour
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:03 AM
•What do you call an absent-minded Dúnadain?
Answer :A Space Ranger! :D
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:04 AM
•How would you ask a Ringwraith for a date?
Answer: "What's a Nazgul doing in a place like this?"
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:08 AM
•What do you say if you bump into a wizard?
Answer: Saruman, I didn't see ya there!!!
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:10 AM
•What did Pippin say as he was carried off by the Uruk-Hai?
Answer: Ouch! You're carrying me in an orcward position!
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:13 AM
•How do Orc’s greet each other?
Answer: With an Uruk Hai five.
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:14 AM
•Who is Frodos favourite musician?
Answer: Sting
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:17 AM
•What did Pippin do when he got drunk?
Answer: He began to feel Merry :D
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:18 AM
•What did Gimli say when Rosie tugged his beard?
Answer: Lego-las!
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:22 AM
•Why did the one-armed Balrog cross the Road?
Answer: To get to the Firearm shop!!
Sharni
07-31-2004, 05:24 AM
•What did Legolas see when he looked into Galadriel's mirror?
Answer: A Bloomin' fine looking Elf. :D
Grumble
07-31-2004, 06:18 AM
what would you call a collections of orc's who play various musical instruments? :D
Sharni
07-31-2004, 06:24 AM
An Orchestra? :D:D
jseal
07-31-2004, 06:31 PM
Sharni & Grumble,
These are GREAT! I love them. Thank you!
Grumble
07-31-2004, 09:12 PM
An Orchestra? :D:D
got it :D
Sharni
07-31-2004, 09:19 PM
*LOL*....theres a heap of em eh
jseal
07-31-2004, 10:18 PM
Sharni,
When you get the time please post them. I've not heard any of these.
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:34 AM
•What would be Ned Flanders name in Middle Earth?
Answer: Tom Bom-didli-om-bom
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:35 AM
•Why did Elrond disapprove of Arwen getting married?
Answer: He didn't want any more rings in the family.
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:37 AM
•What would legolas be called if he lost a leg in battle?
Answer: Lasoleg (say it: less-a-leg)
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:38 AM
•What did Merry say to Gandalf after Pippin stole the Palantir?
Answer: Perigrin Took it!!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:39 AM
•What is Aragorn's favorite snack?
Answer: Orc rinds!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:42 AM
•How would one phone Sauron?
Answer: Dial "M" for Mordor!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:44 AM
•Why can't Saruman read his wristwatch?
Answer: Because his arm has grown long
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:45 AM
•What does a wild dwarf wear?
Answer: A Gloin cloth!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:47 AM
•Why is Sauron called the Lord of the Rings?
Answer: Because he never answers the telephone
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:48 AM
•What do a lemon and Curunir have in common?
Answer: They are both sour....man
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:50 AM
•Why did the Balrog cross the Bridge?
Answer: He didnt!
•Why did Gandalf cross the Bridge?
Answer He didnt!!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:52 AM
•What is the Witch King's favorite fruit?
Answer: The Grapes of Wraith
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:54 AM
•Why didn't Tom Bombadil answer the phone?
Answer: Because the ring had no effect on him.
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:55 AM
•What is Sauron's favourite food?
Answer: Eye-scream!!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:56 AM
•What do you call a elf with no legs?
Answer: Leg-o-less
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:57 AM
•What do you call a elf with out any toys
Answer: Leggo-less
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:58 AM
•What did Melkor said to Sauron when he was taken into captivity by the Valar?
Answer: "Keep an eye on Middle-earth!"
Sharni
08-01-2004, 01:59 AM
•What's the gooey stuff between a balrog's toes?
Answer: Slow orcs
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:00 AM
•Why are hobbit doors round?
Answer: If you ate 9 meals a day you'd want round doors too!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:01 AM
•How many Tolkien purists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: None -- the lightbulb was not in the book!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:03 AM
•How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Well, it takes twenty because:
Three to find a ladder that reaches up to the sky
Seven to find a lightbulb in the dark halls of stone
Nine to steady the ladder so the one on top doesn't die
One to install the lightbulb, on the ladder, all alone
In a land called The Shire, where very few shadows lie.
:D:D:D:D:D
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:04 AM
•How do you know an Elf is calling you?
Answer: Three rings
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:06 AM
•How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?
Answer: He tried to destroy the ring
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:07 AM
•Why did the Balrog cross the bridge?
Answer: To get to the other- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:09 AM
•There was an archery contest in Lothlorien and all the great archers were there. The 1st one comes up and fires his arrow right in the apple on top of an elf head and says:
-I'm Legolas!!!
The 2nd one comes and fires his arrow...he splits the 1st arrow in half and says:
-I'm Thranduil
Another comes and shoots the elf under the apple and says:
-I'm...sorry!!!
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:13 AM
Elf #1: "Did you see Treebeard standing still during the entire party?"
Elf #2: "Yes, he made quite an ent-trance."
Grumble
08-01-2004, 02:23 AM
Hows does Sharni make the answers Invisible?
Sharni
08-01-2004, 02:26 AM
They are written in white hun....so that when ya highlight the text ya can read it...but they are not immediately there for those that wish to try to guess :D
jseal
08-01-2004, 04:42 AM
Sharni,
A thousand praises madam! Loved them.
hmmm......guess ya had to see the movies eh?
gekkogecko
08-01-2004, 09:34 AM
No, actually, a lot of them made sense only if one read the books...for instance, Tom Bombadil wasn't in the movies at all.
And of course, some of them had nothing to do directly with The Lord of the Rings. It would take reading The Silmarillion & The Hobbit to understand those.
jseal
08-01-2004, 11:30 AM
BIBI,
If you can make the time, I think you'll enjoy reading the books.
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