Greeneyed Monster

[souls_cry2000]

What is the best way to get over your feelings of jealousy? I'm finding it harder and harder to stay my :cool: cool self in certain situations. Any advice on how to "get over it" and just "deal" so I don't make an ass of myself :moon:?

[Lilith]

LOL...sits back and waits for the answer, with Souls.

[Aqua]

Hmmmm... can't say I know of any solutions. All I can offer is... You're not alone. I'm overcome by said monster at times and I just breathe deep and try my hardest to keep cool.

[Lilith]

and Aqua;)

[MilkToast]

I guess I'll pull up a chair and wait here for answers as well :)

[souls_cry2000]

I've kept :cool: cool but my face is easy to read. My gf just looks at my face and asks, "what are you thinking?" If I answer "nothing" you kinda know where the conversation goes from there. I don't like being jealous of her friends which are mostly guys. She says her friendship with them isn't like that and I'm not an insecure guy but you can't keep your head clear with logic all the time.

I don't want to be at some party have a few drinks and then be branded the asshole because I blew up at some innocent bit of flirtation that I would do and would usually never bat an eye at.

[PantyFanatic]

Well souls,………. You could kill something……………… but you’d just get to see the same green-eyed monster on Bubas’ face when Leroy took you for HIS own. :rolleyes:

Maybe you’re dealing with two different CORE issue that just required time and a deep look to see. If after the pleasure of going through the feathers, you find it has webbed feet and quacks, perhaps be grateful for the feathers and move on until you find the Chick you are looking for.


*shruggs*

[Irish]

What is the best way to get over your feelings of jealousy? I'm finding it harder and harder to stay my :cool: cool self in certain situations. Any advice on how to "get over it" and just "deal" so I don't make an ass of myself :moon:?
souls-cry2000---The only person that you can really satisfy,is the person
that looks back from the mirror.If you always worry about the consequences,
you don't do anything & then people walk all over you.The last time(Aggravated Assault)that I was sentenced,to prison(3yrs&1day)everyone else
,in prison,had already been warned to leave me alone,by a person that had been there already.Was I scared?One word- YES!You have to decide,how
you want people,to remember you.Many will disagree,with me,but I had to
look in my mirror.Analise your situation & do what you think that you should!
Irish
P.S.Advice:Bubba doesn't want to be "rearranged" so he will,sensibly,leave you alone!

[osuche]

I think that you have to be happy with yourself to make someone else happy. If you are truly happy in your relationship with your S/O, don't you think you make her happy too? Perhaps she is just as happy as you are. NEVER assume the worst -- she deserves more repect than that. Most likely these guys are just friends and no more.

Some women get along better with guys than girls....I am one of these....I just have not been able to find more than a couple of women who I can get along with. Women are complicated, and their relationships are complicated ~ you can sit down with a guy, drink a beer, shoot the shit, and just BE. Women are more intense.

It's unhealthy not to have friends...everyone needs friends outside of a relationship. Something for themselves ~ a sounding board, some free time, someone to relax with. Most likely these guys serve this purpose. If these frineds make your S/O happy....then they're good for your relationship. "Cause she can't make YOU happy if she isn't happy too. :D

[Steph]

I left two big relationships because of jealousy & would do so again in a heartbeat.

For me, I feel like a possession of sorts if he's being possessive. I don't feel respected or trusted if someone is jealous for no reason.

If you've been hurt in the past, you can't let that cloud your feelings for your current love.

[Irish]

I think that you have to be happy with yourself to make someone else happy. If you are truly happy in your relationship with your S/O, don't you think you make her happy too? Perhaps she is just as happy as you are. NEVER assume the worst -- she deserves more repect than that. Most likely these guys are just friends and no more.

Some women get along better with guys than girls....I am one of these....I just have not been able to find more than a couple of women who I can get along with. Women are complicated, and their relationships are complicated ~ you can sit down with a guy, drink a beer, shoot the shit, and just BE. Women are more intense.

It's unhealthy not to have friends...everyone needs friends outside of a relationship. Something for themselves ~ a sounding board, some free time, someone to relax with. Most likely these guys serve this purpose. If these frineds make your S/O happy....then they're good for your relationship. "Cause she can't make YOU happy if she isn't happy too. :D
I have to agree with that.In my life,I always could talk to women,better then
men.It's almost funny,because the men that I got along,the worst with,turned
out to be my best friends.We didn't get along,initialy,because we were so much alike! Irish
P.S.The main thing, is knowing yourself & being happy with yourself!

[WildIrish]

If after the pleasure of going through the feathers, you find it has webbed feet and quacks, perhaps be grateful for the feathers and move on until you find the Chick you are looking for.


*shruggs*


What is it with you and the duck analogies? :confused: :D

Some people are inherently jealous while others are not. I think the most important thing for jealous types to remember is their level of jealousy. I get defensive about some topics, and before completely losing my cool...I need to shut up for a minute and say to myself "you know how crazy this gets you...don't be irrational". Recognize that you are naturally jealous and step back & take a look at the situation. Is she flirting with them? Are they trying to subvert your relationship? Or is she just being her usual innocent flirty and fun self?

So bottom line...you can't get over it. You don't really need to. Just understand that it's a part of you and realize when it's causing you to act crazy. If she comments on your reaction to something just tell her "it's just me being jealous again...don't sweat it".

[scotzoidman]

I think WI has got it about right...I'm not the jealous type myself, & I tend to think it's either a part of your makeup or not, so I guess it's really a question of how you deal with those feelings...

Sorry, I'm babbling coherently again...

[flutelady]

I too would love to know how to not be jealous. There is quite a large green-eyed-monster who lives in my skin. I know that I'm insecure, but I also know that being somewhat possessive (which is one of the roots of my jealousy) is part of me, just as much as being short is part of me.

It doesn't help that I've had legitimate causes to be jealous, either... in the past, I mean. I do know that this is a huge reason that I could never EVER seriously consider a threesome.

Yes, I too babble. I would love some real advice as to how not to be jealous. It's just that I've seen firsthand what "innocent flirting" can lead to. Personally, I don't really believe there is such a thing.

[sweetlady]

In my experience, jealousy comes from insecurity, or a lack of trust, or a combination of those. You need to decide why you feel you are not enough for her, why you think she'd be wanting someone else.

Has she earned your mistrust? Because jealousy is mistrust, and that's unkind towards her. If she has not earned your mistrust, then you need to CHOOSE to trust her. Work very hard on keeping your mind OFF of the "possibilities," use another focus. When you start to feel jealous, for example, deliberately change your mind to your favorite fantasy of you and your partner.

If it is earned mistrust, then you need to examine why you feel that she would repeate the behavior that created the mistrust.

But above all else, realize that you do not feel secure. Either in your own "charms" and ability to satisfy her, or in your relationship. THAT is the essence of what jealousy is. Knowing that, work hard to find a way to feel security with your relationship and with your self.

[denny]

So call me insecure at the moment, or maybe I just want to limit temptation. It is a powerful thing.

[imaginewithme]

I get jealous wayyy too easy....I wish I knew how to overcome it too. And it's not just my husband I get jealous over (he reassures me all the time) :rolleyes: ......

[BamaKyttn]

Okay so I'm the queen of enjoying jealousy....... I like to see it on a strangers' face........ I guess I saw that it was only a tool for preventing people from becomming friends so I just ignore my feelings of jealousy, remember that jealousy makes everyone feel LOUSY hehehe


>kisses to all<


Kyttn

[Lilith]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bama))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So nice to see you!

[BamaKyttn]

missed you too darlin!

[Grumble]

((((((((((((((((((((((((bama)))))))))))))))))))))))))) my first friend in Pixies Lovely to see you post again :)

[LixyChick]

She says her friendship with them isn't like that
So...you either trust HER...or you don't! Lot's of women have more male than female friends. Least, they think of them as just friends...and only friends. I can't say I believe that the male friends only want to be friends. Usually, if given the chance, they'd take it further. But...you have to trust that your g/f means what she says. If you don't trust her...the greeneyed monster will get you everytime! Trust me when I say...if she is sincere and she keeps her intentions with her friends known to them...she can handle them should a more friendly situation arise!

[BamaKyttn]

Okay so perhaps 3 years post relationship isn't the best time to think, you know you either only remember the bad stuff or only remember the good stuff. The worst thing I remember about my last boyfriend was that he was overcareing not overbearing. Yeah he was a bit cautious when I was hanging out with the guys but not usually out and out jealous unless I molested or was molested.... and rightly so. (especially considering my track record...) A certain LOW level of jealousy is needed in every relationship, wether you see it or not. It helps you realize what you have or what you had, it keeps your eyes from straying from one another long enough to set your sights on another.....
So unless you've changed a lot Souls, maybe you should ditch the bitch and switch!

Kyttn

[souls_cry2000]

Kyttn

I'm no longer with her. It ended some months back. After we broke up and I started to deal I realised I don't haver time for her brand of drama. I enjoy some drama from time to time but that brand of drama I can do with out.

love ya!
Souls

:d:

[Oldfart]

Sorted.

Still didn't answer the question about jealousy in general, but really sorted one

in particular.

Knowing how hard to hold on is an art, not a science. It takes effort and sometimes works.

[BamaKyttn]

Sorted or Sordid? >grin<

:box: