Would you be upset if i said this to your 12 year old?

[Hocque]

We just won a hockey game 15-6. We have a long history between the two teams. I told me kids in private after the game "We just kicked their asses" to pump them up for our playoff game againist the same team.

Would that bug you ? That i said the word asses?

Hocque

[Lilith]

LOL no but my kids have heard it. I accidentally told my kid..."Man, you kicked some serious ass today." after a particularily awesome well played soccer game.


Do I think it's a good idea to curse in front of kids? No. Will they live? Sure.

[Cassiopeia]

This may not count since I don't have children, but...

Perhaps I would see the term as slightly inappropriate but not enough to get upset over.

[MilkToast]

Considering the word in question is pretty much all over TV I would say that they have likely heard it before unless they lead a sheltered life. I'm not sure that it is good to be using it, but I do not think it is too bad. Of course "we just kicked their f'n asses" would certainly be over the line.

(disclaimer) I do not have kids, so this would be the opinon of one that does not have to deal with the repercussions of saying it :)

[Eros]

I really dont' see anything wrong with that....


Now if you said "we just kicked their FUCKING asses"...then ya might have a probelm..LOL

[osuche]

<-- Would say this to her kid, but is not a parent.

[Sharni]

No problem here....I would and do say that to my kids

[scotzoidman]

Why were they kicking donkeys? Isn't that cruelty to animals?

All seriousness aside, I've said it to my kids, but I'm guessing you're getting some flack from other parents...

[Loulabelle]

If the kids in question are allowed to watch 'The Simpsons' then they've already heard the word 'Ass' plenty of times.

The important thing, in my opinion, is that you teach your children when it is appropriate to use such language and when it is not.

[GingerV]

Honest to god, any tiny problem I'd have with what you said has more to do with the competetiveness than the swearing. I think, if it were my kids, I'd rather you emphasize how well they played than that they demolished some other team. Still, that's the squooshy liberal in me talking....I get that when trying to build up the egos of 12 year old boys, you gotta speak their language ;).

Any child of mine is gonna learn curse etiquette quick, when to do it and when not....it's not just me, it's my family....so it's gotta be done. That said, I understand that not all families are like mine, and kids from some of those families (ones that may not let 12 year olds watch the Simpsons etc.....it happens) may be on your team. Because you're in loco parentis, the standard is higher....you can't just make the choice you'd make for your own kids. You're the coach, they look up to you, they are likely to try to emulate you. ESPECIALLY if the word (and the intense emotion that went with it) is novel.

I guess I'm trying to say that you wouldn't have a problem with me, and I don't think you'd have damaged the boys in any way. But I can see why some parents are getting on your case.

[Casperr]

Hey Hocque - I'm also a coach and I do at times use those sort of words. I would normally censor myself without thinking to say "butt" instead of arse though. It just kinda comes naturally to me when I'm in "Coaching Mode".

However, I suspect there may be a degree of culture here - Australians are a tad more relaxed when it comes to language.

ANd GingerV you hit the nail on the head - the actual word itself isn't a problem to me. But as a coach (especially in my case with an individual sport, not a team sport) you have GOT to encourage kids to focus on HOW they played rather than the result. A win can be wonderful, but it's worthless if the kids don't know how they achieved it.
Better to say "Billly, you were dynamite in defense today - that's how you've gotta play. I want you to be on top of the puck all the time when it's in your half, never let up. Well done." instead of "Great kids, we kicked ass and we've gotta keep on kickin' ass, and then we can win the Championship!!"

Just my 2 cents on Coaching Philosophy. [NOT a criticism in any way! Just food for thought!]

Have fun and good luck with the coaching!
CasperTG

[lakritze]

That wouldn't bother me at all. A news item in a recent paper told the story of Former Los Angeles Mayor Richard Reardon (Republican) recently appointed by Gov.ARRRNOULD to a seat on the LA USD as meeting a young girl who told him,her name was ISIS.She asked Reardon if he knew what the name meant.His reply to her was,"Yes,it means stupid dirty little girl doesn't it?" No,the girl replied,ISIS is an Egyptian Queen." I think a remark like the one from our former Mayor would do far more damage to a child than Kicking Ass.....Come to think of it,a good ass kicking woud have been an approprate response to Reardons remark.

[gekkogecko]

The whole censorship thing is just an excuse to be a bunch of hypocrites in front of the children.

If something upsets an individual person (regardelss of age), the way to deal with it is to deal with it, not to suppress it.

The answer to the whole concept of free speech is more speech, not more oppression.

Or, as afriend of mine so succintly put it:
"Censorship? I don't my child exsposed to *that*!"

[Loren]

Not a parent here but I would have no problem with it. It's not going to hurt the kid. At worst it's going to cause the parent some uncomfortable questions, but that's their problem with reality, not the speaker's problem.

[WildIrish]

"Wow, you guys kicked their asses" in the car on the way home is ok in my book. With opposing team members and parents around isn't. No reason to disrespect them.

I think you were caught up in the excitement and you let it be shown. Totally understandable and no outrageous at all. You displayed enthusiasm without disrepect.

[darogle]

Oh good Lord! Political correctness run amok yet again. Yes, it would be fine if you said it to my kid. I have and will again. You said it in private, away from the opposing team so there is no bad sportsmanship, so no harm-no foul in my book.

[the_new_shaft]

Its a sad fact that the world is becoming 'PC' (politicly correct) personally i hate this undeniable fact but it is easy to see why people are quickly rallying around this new movement. they are scared. scared of what i hear you cry, well scared of offending peple for one. example the term half-caste, its used all the time with no thought to its history, well let me edify you, it comes from spanish colonial times & quite literaly means half of a caste, the caste system was black, white, rich, poor... etc, to be of half a caste ment you had no place in socity. sounds pretty bad right?, well NO!

Its term has changed over the years we all now use it as a mixed-race term, thats it! slightly off topic i know but sooner or later terms like this & swearing in public especially will become so un-pc theres gonna be a law suit sooner or later.

No seriously think about it, christians cannot celibrate christmas, you cant call people of a darker complection black & in some cases people of a lighter complection white, its ludacrous! well i say FUCK BEING PC, as long as those kids know its not an everyday word & you didnt mean any disrespect then tell everyone else to have a coke & a smile & shut the fuck up!

Boy venting it so good!

[JustSomeGuy]

No, I wouldn't be upset...what DID upset me (at first) was that you asked this question in the General SEX forum...! :jester:

[Hocque]

opppss sorry for it being in the wrong area.


It was in private in a locker room away from the other team. Except for the coaches wife of the other team that i found out later had her ear to the door listening in. After talking to all most all the parents. I cant find one that said they called. The letter i got from the head of the program said two parents called.

The funny thing is I dont curse at all. The word ass or hell is the worst i say.

It was also a motivator for our next game. Which is a playoff game againist the same team. These kids are 12 and 13 years old. I mean they are almost in high school.

My son is part of the team is the youngest by 3 years.

Thank you for all the wonderfull responses.

Hocque

[dicksbro]

This may not count since I don't have children, but...

Perhaps I would see the term as slightly inappropriate but not enough to get upset over.

I think I agree with Cassiopeia. I wouldn't worry much about it, but if other parents kids were around ... you might get some negative feedback.

[MilkToast]

opppss sorry for it being in the wrong area.
<snip>
Except for the coaches wife of the other team that i found out later had her ear to the door listening in.
<snip>

Sounds to me like you have a busy-body (?) with nothing better to do with her time than stir up trouble! I would let it go... heck if it were me I would make sure that I made some very odd remarks (just don't swear in them) when ever she was within earshot... that way she could really wonder what is going on!

[naughtyeddie]

as a former high school teacher i do not believe that it is inappropiate when used in the contex that it was.

naughtyeddie

[Scarecrow]

My only problem with what you did is that it may go agains someone else teaching. If an other parent is trying to change a behavor and you use words that are against what they are teaching THEIR childern you are undermining their authority. When in a position of authority you must act accordingly.

[Catch22]

I live next to a primary (middle) school. Some of the things one hears from the playground. Out of the mouths of 10 year olds.

[Scarecrow]

I work in a primary school (3-10yr) and children do say the darndest things.

[way22hot]

when that 12 year old goes home and tells his family "yeah we kicked their ass ,and coach say's we'll kick their ass agian next time" What message do they think your giving the kids?

[Catch22]

Well interesting thing today. The kids in the school next door were doing phy ed and the teacher shouted. "Run faster you little shits!' I heard it clear as a bell.

[Oldfart]

The expression is mild, milder than is normally used by average 12YOs.

Anyone offended by this is living in a perceptual vacuum, unaware of the "tide-mark"

of acceptability.

ISIS was a goddess, not a Queen.

I suspect there are school political overtones at work here.

[Grumble]

my kids have said worse things than that at 12.

Ass or arse is not something that is any more than colourful to me.

I do not use any sexual expletives around children but Ass is just normal stuff.