gettin' the jit-t-t-ters (guys, you may want to avoid this thread)

[wyndhy]

so I’m making room in the linen closet for the crib sheets and those mini towels with the built-in hoods, and even though I’m ready for another child to love and guide (…I can’t wait really), it suddenly hits me: I’m scared. not because we’re going to have another child but because I’m going to “have” a baby. our daughter was born via c-section, and an emergency one at that, so I never did experience the “real thing” and I’ve got to say I feel the strangest contradiction inside; to already have a child and yet not know what to expect. I’ve never felt an intense contraction or had to time them and then wait and wait and wait…. of course I’ve heard from other moms and I’ve asked the doctor all kinds of questions but I still have nothing to compare it with. plus most of my questions are of the personal decision nature, anyway. like…should I take drugs?… I’ll admit the c-section was pretty damn painful (I had an epidural but opted for pain meds after surgery so I could see my daughter and remember. suffice it to say I associate the recovery room in the OR with some brief but very awful pain) but I made it and I think I’d like to be able to feel what’s going on. and also…how bad is the pain, anyway? how long will my labor be? and the big one… how will I feel after? will I want to hold him or sleep or cry or rant or…or WHAT? I didn’t have any choices the first time around. I was in recovery while our baby was taken away to be washed and weighted and all that jazz and I missed it. by the time I saw her I was too drugged to do anything but touch her while my husband held her in the football hold like he’d been carrying babies around since he was 10. and that is the extent of my memories of our first day in the hospital. I feel unprepared and I don’t like feeling unprepared. :dizzy:

< ----thanks you for listening :)

[dicksbro]

God bless you Wyndhy. Will be thinking of you and pray all goes super smooth. Just remember you've got a lot of pixie hugs holding you when the time comes! ;)

[Mackenzie]

I've never had a baby so you may want to skip my advice....however.....I was in the delivery room when my friend had her baby (coolest thing I've ever seen). And one minute she was screaming, and crying.....then the epideral was administered and she never made another negative sound. I mean she pushed the baby out like it was nothing. I thought she was so brave, and she credits it all to the epideral. I always thought that WHEN I have a child I would try to do it natural, but watching her made me think twice.
That is the only advice I can give!!! Good luck & God Bless!!!!!

[TinTennessee]

Wyn...I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, contractions hurt like hell!! However, there is absolutely nothing and I mean nothing that is as wonderful as pushing your child into the world. If at all possible I would suggest that you go with an epidural. I wasn't fortunate enough to have one, but I still wouldn't trade the experiences of giving birth to my children for all the money in the world!!! Yes, you will be tired after giving birth, but not too tired to hold and love on your baby. I was up walking around, slowly that is, within a few hours. Yes you are sore, but I can guarantee it will be nothing compared to the soreness you experienced with a C-section.

I had a friend who had an epidural during her pregnancy and her mother thought she had lost her mind as the friend laughed through the entire delivery!

I'm here if you ever need to talk. My e-mail addresses are on my profile.

Love ya sweetie

[Lilith]

wyndhy~ I wish I had the perfect words to calm your fears but I don't. Every single solitary birth is a uniquely personal experience as I am sure every death is as well.

I read some good hippie midwife books I got at the library that helped me to re-evaluate my way of looking at the entire process. With the first child, the fear of the unknown left me in almost an observers role. I was not making choices or participating in the event. I was just dealing and having stuff done to me. Second go round I wanted to "give birth" not simply deal with labor. I tried my best. Hell yeah I was scared but I knew what was coming, and you have that advantage now as well. (((((hugs))))

[wyndhy]

db... thanks for braving my warning and dropping me a line of reassurance. :)

mackenzie... any info is good info. i'm always thinking twice and thrice and fourthice :D ... thank you

tt... puhleeze...i'd never dream of asking you to sugar coat anything! :rolleyes: i count on your uh...forthright manner *cough* thank you, dear! big(((((HUGS))))) ^^^misses chatting with you^^^

lilith... i hadn't thought to look at midwifing books. that is a fantastic idea, thanks! leave it to you to have all the research done and catalogued :jester: (((hugs)))

[LixyChick]

My opinion...

They make drugs to help with all kinds of pain. We take them because we don't want to be in pain anymore. Then, "the book" says women must bear the pain of childbirth for something that happened so long ago it should be forgiven by now. Some feel that everything in life should be natural...but if they were truthful, they'd admit their life is enhanced on a daily basis by man-made amenities. The epidural is considered safe now...and the possibility of participating in such a precious event (your childs birth) and being able to remember it all...all without pain and exhaustion, seems so right to me. If it were me, and considering what you had gone through last go-round...I'd request the epidural.

Any way you choose...I wish you the very best!

[Steph]

There are towels with mini-hoods?

Yeah, I'm probably not the best to give advice on something I've never experienced. :D

I wish you luck!

[Lilith]

I agree with Lixy 100%. I just read the books for knowledge not because I thought I would go natural. I had a problem with my epidural so it turned out to be helpful in the long run. One of the things I read discussed the "contractions". That makes it sound like the focus is cramping or getting smaller. This book suggested they were "expansions" and that with each one you should concentrate on the period just after and visualize yourself opening not contracting. Gave me a completely different focus.

[scotzoidman]

I prob should stay out of this one since I'm a guy, then I was about to share my personal experiences (I'm the modern guy who was in the room for both my kids, including the 2nd one, c-section...) then I realized the stories I had to share were NOT reassuring...so I'll just share 2 things...the epidural is not like other drugs that leave you doped up, it's more like a local applied to the area around the spine...no one would say you were a wimp for having a local to get stitches, that you should be EXPERIENCE the moment :eek: 2nd point, wife shared a room with another lady, a preacher's wife, who had just had her 3rd baby...she had gone "natual" for the 1st two, then given in & had the epi on this one...her words: "I don't know why ANYONE would want have natural childbirth again..."

[Steph]

Yeah, why do people choose natural childbirth? I figure if there's a drug that doesn't harm the baby, I'm all for it! :D

[Oldfart]

wyndhy,

I was there for my three, and am totally inappropriate to comment here

beyond the simple idea that you need to do what you need to give birth to a healthy

child without damaging yourself in the process.

Drugs, epidural and "au natural" all have their negatives.

Read broadly and choose.

[huntersgirl]

I could probably write a book on this topic! But I will try to keep it brief, so I don't bore anybody! There was 10 years between my 2 children so I was just as unprepared for the second as I was the first. I had read everything I could get my hands on and still had no idea what it would feel like, even had no idea if I was really in labor. I know what your going through hun and I feel for you. The unknown is so difficult! As Lilith said every birth is unique, so as prepared as you can be it still isn't enough. I went natural on both births, by the end of 17 hours on the first one I was begging for drugs, but it was too late! I survived and as exhausted as I was all I wanted to do was hold that beautiful baby in my arms and never let him out of my sight. Natural brain chemicals kick in and give you what you need to do what you need to . I have been told that sometimes the pain medications can hinder some of those natural responses, but since I have not experienced it I wouldn't know for sure. In my opinion you have to do whatever is best for you. The second baby came so quickly which scared me incredibly. I remember saying "its too soon, I'm not ready!!!" But low and behold there he was! I had a water birth with that one and I could be a "poster person" for that method. It was absolutely amazing! And so very different than the first time around. I had a doula, which is a service of volunteer birthing coaches available at our local hospital and she was phenomenal! Sometimes it helps having someone that you don't have to "worry" about being a coach. She massaged my back and neck while I was in the water, during each contraction. She supported my back so I could arch and almost float which really helped with the pain. Both my Aunt and my Mother were also present, but I didn't want them to talk or touch me! Go figure! I was so much less tired with the second, probably because the labor was so much shorter. Anyway hun, all I can say is the pain is bearable and the healing is quick,(in most cases). I know there are a ton of books available about going vaginally after a C-section, and I would advise you to read whatever you can get your hands on! Good luck girl! And aren't those towels just the cutest! If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free!

~hg

[lakritze]

I was a c-section birth.Back then,once a c-section,always a c-section.I don't know how things have changed since then.Is it possible to have a "normal" birth after a previous caesarian? Your willingness to procede shows your ultimate bravery dispite your fears.The best of luck and keep us all posted.

[bb@po9]

Well, I really and most sincerly hope that all goes well for you and your baby.

[wyndhy]

lixy…when I think about it I’m pretty much a man-made amenity junkie. I could survive on berries and my wits for all of about 3 hours. lol I’m becoming convinced an epi is the way to go. thank you!

steph… yep, an there ain’t much cuter than a baby all wrapped up in one. thanks for the luck :)

lilith…I can dig that idea... it makes so much more sense that way.

scotziodman…bigbad was there for the c-sec also and watched the whole damn thing and I’ve wondered many times how he did it. I’ve made myself nauseous just cleaning out a chicken carcass and filling it with stuffing :) hats off to you for doing the same. not to mention the fact that you had to choose whom to watch over: your brand new fragile baby or your wife who just went through major surgery.

steph…i don’t think pot counts :rolleyes: :p :)

oldfart…you were there for THREE? that makes you wholly competent to post here…thanks

huntersgirl…a water birth huh? I’ve read about them but never spoken with someone who’s done it. fascinating! and thank you lots and lots

lakritze…thank you, doll. and yes, nowadays you can go for what they call a VBAC if the c-sec incision was transverse across your belly. the temptation to just schedule another c-sec was huge. “I will have this baby at 9:30 am on aug 18th” lol

bigtone…I really and most sincerely thank you for your wishes :)

[scotzoidman]

I was a c-section birth.Back then,once a c-section,always a c-section.I don't know how things have changed since then.Is it possible to have a "normal" birth after a previous caesarian? Your willingness to procede shows your ultimate bravery dispite your fears.The best of luck and keep us all posted.
I don't know how long ago "back then" was, but I do know that in recent years they've changed the angle of incision, to going with the grain of the muscle instead of across...the old way took longer to heal, & left a weak spot along the scar that made subsequent normal delivery too risky...I know the new method is at least 13 years old, when our 2nd was delivered c-section as a footling breech.

[imaginewithme]

I am just here to wish you luck and that your nerves can get calmed soon. Easy for me to say I know. But we all are thinking about you!

I have the jitters too....I am going tomorrow to have my first ultrasound to begin artificial insimination.....

HUGS ARE BEING SENT TO YOU!

[sodaklostsoul]

IWM, Good Luck tomarrow!!

Wyndhy I wish you luck also. I was not allowed to have anything, so when the contractions hit right before lunch, it was turning off the lights and cold wash clothes that help me. The labor part I thought was easy. But like Lilith said each person is different. It will all work out. With your family and all the docs and nurses, you'll be just fine. ((((((((((wyndhy)))))))))))

[wyndhy]

imagine... thank you and i wish YOU the best, too!!!!!

sodalostsoul... thanks!! (easy labor...you lucky girl! :) )

[Steph]

steph…i don’t think pot counts :rolleyes: :p :)

LOL For a change, I wasn't talking about pot but the epidural. :D

Keep us posted!

[Grumble]

I was there for the birth of both my children, they were born naturally and both came quickly.

My wife (we are now separated) certainly had pain but she was full of joy after the birth.

I am sure you will make the best decisions on what is right for you.

Wishing you all the best for a safe delivery and a lovely healthy baby.

Hugs from Grumble

[scotzoidman]

scotziodman…bigbad was there for the c-sec also and watched the whole damn thing and I’ve wondered many times how he did it. I’ve made myself nauseous just cleaning out a chicken carcass and filling it with stuffing :) hats off to you for doing the same. not to mention the fact that you had to choose whom to watch over: your brand new fragile baby or your wife who just went through major surgery.

:)
I said I was there, but I never said I watched anything ;) they had the tent up, so I was there to give moral support to the wife...& of course I wanted to be one of the 1st to see my son, right after they wiped him off a little ;)

[wyndhy]

thank you grumble!

[wyndhy]

quick update...i'm in the final weeks now so i had my last ultrasound and we are in a "go" position, lol, so hopefully i won't be havin another c-sec. i'm gonna go for the epi, too. thanks again to all of you!