Friends with Benefits then Become Lovers?

[CunningLinguist]

So hey I was talkign the other day with this girl at work and she was telling me how she was just sick and tired of dating a guy around a few times only to find out that not only does it not go anywhere steamy, but he just winds up meeting some other girl and she is left alone and horny.

Her solution is that leatly she is just finding a guy she likes and jsut randomly has sex with him, but then well he just won't commit.

I confesed that I hve the same problem with women, and that the two times I had a serious relationship were both were with girls that I had started out being a freind with benefits and then wound up being their boyfirend and eventually fiancee in the case with my last gf. I just fell in love with them becuase after the sex I realized there was jsut a whole lot more to the relationship.

She was like see that's what I would love to happen, but she was told that love never happens that way. I said well I thought so until it happend to me twice.

So anyone else have a friend with benefits become lovers?

[BlueSwede]

I had a platonic friend, who became a friend w/sexual benefits, who eventually asked me to marry him. I think it helped that we knew each other well and were friends before we became sexually involved. He didn't ask me to marry him until he learned that someone else had asked me, and I guess he did a lot of serious thinking about our friendship.

[jennaflower]

I would certainly love to find a friend with bene... :)

[imaginewithme]

I am too sensitive...I would fall in love.

[osuche]

Have had friends with benefits, with and without love...both were nice...

Oh ~ and I tend to believe that friendship IS a type of love...

[CunningLinguist]

Well it is good to know I am not the only one then.

I was brought up Southern Baptist and even though I have not been to a Southern Baptist Church in years and barely attnd my own Episcopalian church it is funny how I still have those beliefs that I have held on to sine a child.

Like how you can't have a relaionship based on sex so having sex with someone will ruin the relationship. The simple fact of the matter is that well even if you had sex with a person the first day meeting them, then later on find out they wewre junst an all around fine human being, then no harm no foul.

Likewise, sometimes you jsut have sex with people who just wanted to have sex with you no strings attached. Of course my problem is decerning whihc girls jsut wanted to be fuck buddies and which were falling in lvoe with me :-(

[krzykrn]

Originally posted by osuche

Oh ~ and I tend to believe that friendship IS a type of love...

I totally agree...as for me, I have had friends with benefits twice, currently in a relationship like this at the time, and couldn't be happier. Sure, maybe it would be nice to have a "conventional" relationship, but I will take what I can get.

[Loulabelle]

Fussy and I started off as online friends, but then became online friends with online benefits, we then met up and became real life friends with benefits, and now we are living together and planning to marry.

In my opinion good relationships come from ones which start with a friendship - it means you get to know the person without being blinded by sexual attraction, status or the other things which come into the picture when you're 'dating'. I think relationships based on friendship are usually more honest and more respectful and are entered into more seriously as there is more at stake.

[Nice Guy]

I've had one friends with benefits, suprisingly it worked out well. I knew she really liked me but I didn't want a relationship, so when she finally wanted to get into one we went our seperate ways. All of the others were my gf before we started anything.

[Mackenzie]

I had a Fuck buddy once....but it turned out he wanted a relationship with me and I didn't....we really aren't even friends anymore because of it. It's sad....but I couldn't reciprocate his feelings and it hurt him. I was up front with him from the beginning, but he still got emotionally attatched. I don't think I would do that again. It was pretty bad when it all ended and it's just too easy to confuse sex with a relationship.

[quisath]

I think Sex among friends is wonderful. Love can sometimes complicate it but only if you let it. I have Loved and been Loved by some fantastic friends. (and we still talk ................ imagine that)

[nikki1979]

jeeping and i started as friends w benifits about 5 years ago got married 3 yrs ago ................ he was my only FWB i had fuck buddies before but thats dif, i really didntlike them in person but there was atraction and that was it , we hated each other wud go to each others place for a booty call then leave LOL was so dif w jeeping we actually liked each others company and like to be around each other , it just grew to be so much and no matter how muc i bitch about him i do luv him to death!

nikki

[Mercury_Maniac]

i need a friend with some benefits myself!

[SuzyQ]

I was friends with my hubby before we had sex....then it was friends with benefits...and then marraige...but I have had a lot of people just with benefits before that..some were not friends..just passing in the dark...

[pepsigirl]

i have a friend with benefits, but i have fallen in love with him. and i told him so, and after about 3 months, he told me he loved me too. we're both married to other people, and he will not leave his wife as he loves her too. but he does know how i feel. if he hadn't payed such special attention to me and treated me just like a sex toy, i probably would of never fallen for him, but he was and always has been very sweet and loving, and i fell head over heels...

[SuzyQ]

I did that with a married man when I was 20..was a good experience , cause he taught me how to enjoy sex without guilt...

[CunningLinguist]

Pepsi Girl,

That sounds really sweet. My problem is that with all the fuck buddies I have had I did care for them outside of my own interests, and I think they all kind of fell in love with me too, but too many of them would go insane thinking this was some kind of exclusive relationship.

Not that I am a a cheater. I could never hurt someone like that intentionally, but still I try to avoid the friends with benefits thing becuase I know I do not want an exclusive relationship and I probably never will.

[Hitchhiker]

I read this forum/thread with interest and some thoughts that you may or may not wish to hear.

First off I adore and love my wife. Secondly I'm a randy bugger with an active imagination and a very full past.

With my wife we are truly best friends and lovers to.
We base our relationship on the adage of friends first lovers second. We give each other space and privacy allowing each other to explore relatioships with friends without jealousy. As we are both confident in each other and the love and respect we have for each other. We also make time for quality time together and that is the best time for each other.

Friends and benifits well now thats a story. Whilst at college I was friends with to bestfriends. we became lovers 3 now that had benifits:hot:

And before I close. I'm getting back to writting again and would love to find a friend to share ideas with. See ya all:slurp: