Expectations

[Belial]

Ever feel like you'd done nothing to justify the expectations people had for you? Ever been afraid people had built an image of you that you didn't feel you were living up to? :(

[imaginewithme]

Yes, Just about every day. People on here probably think I am a walking sex machine,,,,in real life, I love to have sex but would never just go up to some guy and start flirting with him or talk sex. I would be too embarrassed. So, yes, I am definately just a tease and I like it.

[Cookie]

Yep i've felt like that!!
The point is sweety you cant always try to do something about it, people see in people what they want or what they dont want to see, expectations are just a little part of all the thoughts they built upon us, Think about it, sometimes they have great expectations and that makes us happy, sometimes they just missunderstand or they just thought of something stupid, i think it happens to all of us and i think we all pretty much do it at some point. cheer up!! who ever expects something from you that is not even close to what you are will only get dissapointed, you might too but i am sure eventually those who get to know you will realize they need to change those expectations.

[denny]

Originally posted by Belial
Ever feel like you'd done nothing to justify the expectations people had for you? Ever been afraid people had built an image of you that you didn't feel you were living up to? :(

I'm sure it happens all the time. People in here are pretyy free wheeling and may project images they don't care to live up to. I never quite meet what people think of me. Not necessarily living up to but rather just somewhat different than expected. Isn't it true for you all?

[Steph]

I didn't take the thread to be about Pixies. I was thinking of working on self-improvement which usually takes enough time so you don't care what others think of you.

[flutelady]

Expectations are things I would love to be able to eliminate from my life. Unfortunately, they're part of the human condition. Would be nice to do away with them, there would be alot less hurt and disappointment.

[Loulabelle]

Belial honey,

I've often suffered from this, particularly when it comes to memebers of my family. I think the problem is that people close to you can often see your potential and build expectations based on that.

Unfortunately, what they don't see is that in order to live up to that potential and fulfill those expectations, you have to want to do it, and often people aren't willing to sacrifice other aspects of our lives (such as love, friendship, sex, and fun) in order to make those dreams come true.

[Belial]

Thanks for the responses so far.

What I meant was that people think of me as having certain skills or abilities, etc, which I don't believe I have to the extent that they seem to think I have, and for that I feel like a fraud. I guess it's a case of knowing enough to know I know nothing in certain areas.

[rockintime]

Belial, you must be coming across pretty good to people for them to feel you're so capable...and in fact, you probably are very capable. There are always things other people think we know or can do, that we really don't and other things we wished we knew or could do but can't. That doesn't make you a fraud, just a normal person. The good thing is that you realize that you don't know everything...and if it's important, you'll learn it; if it isn't imporant, so what--don't sweat it!

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by Steph
I didn't take the thread to be about Pixies. I was thinking of working on self-improvement ... Now THAT sounds like a CAN'T-MISS todo for today. :rolleyes:

[Irish]

Originally posted by Loulabelle
Belial honey,

I've often suffered from this, particularly when it comes to memebers of my family. I think the problem is that people close to you can often see your potential and build expectations based on that.

Unfortunately, what they don't see is that in order to live up to that potential and fulfill those expectations, you have to want to do it, and often people aren't willing to sacrifice other aspects of our lives (such as love, friendship, sex, and fun) in order to make those dreams come true.
I agree!Unfortunately,if you are a perfectionist(like me),things are
never good enough for you,because you think that(with time) you
could do it better! Irish

[CunningLinguist]

Of course, why do you think I am so distruaght that I am unable to support myself much less be an actual contributing member of society and making tons of money while I am at it?

[WildIrish]

Originally posted by Belial
people think of me as having certain skills or abilities


So you can't leap tall buildings in a single bound? You may wanna scratch that big red S off your chest. :D

Believe me Belial, I'm used to it too. My parents ask me to do all kinds of crap that I'm not really qualified to do. Most recently, they asked me to run a new circuit from their circuit breaker box to feed the electric outlets they want me to install in their new home office. WTF? :confused: Ummm, just who do you think you gave birth to? I'm just a dumbass, you know! I know...I could figure it out and it'd probably work fine. But there's damn little room for error! They'd burn the friggin house down and it'd be blamed on my "not quite code" wiring! ha ha

[boilergirl1]

..............and i'm with Irish my own expectations are so hi that i am a constantly failing perfectionist who just knows that if only she'd try just a bit harder she would achieve it
it's a vicious thing to do to yourself and i have to remind me that i'm just another one of the human beans lol take care and pay attention to your heart for it's rarely wrong when you follow what your heart tells you to do you can bet on the rightness that is.

[LarryL]

Originally posted by Belial
Thanks for the responses so far.

What I meant was that people think of me as having certain skills or abilities, etc, which I don't believe I have to the extent that they seem to think I have, and for that I feel like a fraud. I guess it's a case of knowing enough to know I know nothing in certain areas.

As usual, the root is self-esteem, and perception is the source of conflict. You do not see what others see. You seem to be giving yourself a low letter grade on a Yes/No or True/False test. "People think of me as having certain skills or abilities, etc..." (True) "...which I don't believe I have to the extent that they seem to think I have..." (Letter Grade = C, maybe D) For example, when someways says, "You did good on that," do you think or is your reply something like, "I could have done better," or "Thank you, but I should have done it quicker."
Also, much of what you originally said is not diamond-cut truth; it is assumptional. Look at how often you use waffle phrases like 'I don't believe, they seem to think, and I feel like. This is clearly a difference of perception, not of fact. Therefore, you can not be a fraud. You do have what others say you have; you just don't see youself as using it well enough. Hence the low grade.
Somewhere in your life, probably early on, your were taught either directly or indirectly that you are either never good enough always or not good enough often. The saving grace here is that you do know you are good.
Damn, I need to stop jabbering so much. One final thought though: You are probably fantastic, wonderful, excellent, stupendous, etc. You just don't see it, which, by the way, reflects the positive quality of humility.

Hoping I didn't say too much, the wrong thing, or at an inappropriate place,
Larry

[LixyChick]

^^^^^^^^^ Nuff Said!

*walks away mumbling..."Why can't they be like we were...perfect in everyway...Whatsamatter with kids today?"

[souls_cry2000]

Recently I had to deal with peoples expectations. People I thought were friends and cool with me told a lady I was semi-interested in that I was "a great guy but a freak/lech/etc. and that they shouldn't date me". I may be many of those things but shouldn't the lady have had the opportunity to decide for herself. I don't just walk up to ladies and ask them to drop trow and service me and that's how it was made to sound when I was informed of my "friends" advice.

[cowgirltease]

So you can't leap tall buildings in a single bound? You may wanna scratch that big red S off your chest. :D

Believe me Belial, I'm used to it too. My parents ask me to do all kinds of crap that I'm not really qualified to do. Most recently, they asked me to run a new circuit from their circuit breaker box to feed the electric outlets they want me to install in their new home office. WTF? :confused: Ummm, just who do you think you gave birth to? I'm just a dumbass, you know! I know...I could figure it out and it'd probably work fine. But there's damn little room for error! They'd burn the friggin house down and it'd be blamed on my "not quite code" wiring! ha ha


Or it will shock the piss out of you! LOL

yeah ..... Belial, Im not near as tough as people think I am. :rolleyes:

[BamaKyttn]

CLEAR!!!!!

Okay so all my conversations allude to or involve in some way sex. My DW seems to think that means that my libido (or is that libida?) is in overdrive even tho I sleep only 6 hours a night and work 9-12 hours a day...... damn I think thats expecting a bit much for that and she wants me to clean house when she's home all day.........


>sigh<

Kyttn