Irish
05-14-2004, 10:31 PM
> >
> > Subject: Two Lists WOULD IT NOT BE INTERESTING TO TURN ON THE OLE' TV
> > TONIGHT AND SEE G. W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH...
> >
> > My fellow
> > Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since
> > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
> > in Iraq is complete.
> >
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
> > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
> >
> > It is now time to begin the reckoning.
> >
> > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
> > which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
> > short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
> > some of the countries listed there.
> >
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
> > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> > distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
> >
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
> > nations on List 2 ceases Immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
> > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
> > Iraqi war.
> >
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
> > hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
> >
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
> > Call France.
> >
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
> > money toward solving the vexing problems we still have at home.
> >
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
> > will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> > of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
> > or
> > maybe China.
> >
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
> > deal
> > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
> > Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> > tables,
> > too.
> >
> > I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
> > France,
> > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
> > retiring
> > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> >
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
> > UN
> > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
> > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
> > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your
> > tickets tomorrow or watch your
> > precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the
> > finest
> > chop shops in the world. I love New York.
> >
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> > going
> > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
> > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox
> > and
> > his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I
> > have
> > a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
> > I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with
> > your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
> > treaty---starting now.
> >
> > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
> > citizens.
> > Some will accuse us of SEPARATISM.
> >
> > I answer them be saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to
> > help
> > folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the
> > undying
> > enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
> >
> > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
> > homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from
> > America.
> >
> > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
> >
> > To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> >
> > God bless America.
> > Subject: Two Lists WOULD IT NOT BE INTERESTING TO TURN ON THE OLE' TV
> > TONIGHT AND SEE G. W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH...
> >
> > My fellow
> > Americans:
> >
> > As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since
> > congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
> > in Iraq is complete.
> >
> > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
> > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
> >
> > It is now time to begin the reckoning.
> >
> > Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
> > which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
> > short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
> > some of the countries listed there.
> >
> > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
> > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
> > distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
> >
> > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
> > nations on List 2 ceases Immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
> > during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
> > Iraqi war.
> >
> > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
> > hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
> >
> > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
> > Call France.
> >
> > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
> > money toward solving the vexing problems we still have at home.
> >
> > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
> > will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
> > of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
> > or
> > maybe China.
> >
> > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
> > deal
> > now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
> > Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
> > tables,
> > too.
> >
> > I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
> > France,
> > Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
> > retiring
> > from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
> >
> > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
> > UN
> > diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
> > tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
> > crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your
> > tickets tomorrow or watch your
> > precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the
> > finest
> > chop shops in the world. I love New York.
> >
> > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
> > going
> > to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
> > pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox
> > and
> > his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I
> > have
> > a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where
> > I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with
> > your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
> > treaty---starting now.
> >
> > It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
> > citizens.
> > Some will accuse us of SEPARATISM.
> >
> > I answer them be saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to
> > help
> > folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the
> > undying
> > enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
> >
> > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
> > homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from
> > America.
> >
> > To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
> >
> > To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
> >
> > God bless America.