how's my writing

[silentsoul]

As some of you may know, my life has been filled with obstacles of one kind or another. Since I've never dealt with other people all that well, I found that I can figure things out better through writing stories of one kind or another. These next couple of stories are basically ones that I've written over the years to help me deal with one thing or another and I'd like you alls opinion.

Just so you know, none of these are all that sexual, that's why I put them here.

This first story is the first story I ever really wrote. The only title I could come up with was "Sally Jessup"

Sally Jessup was a normal 17 year old girl. She had a ‘89 dark green Volvo. She had a few friends and she loved to hang out at the mall and go to parties. She wasn’t exceptionally popular but most of the kids in her school knew her by face at least. Her home life wasn’t the best but not out of the ordinary, her parents didn’t get along too well and were on the verge of divorce. She was really close with both her parents, especially her dad though. See Sally was a tom boy. She knew more about cars and engines than pretty much any mechanic a Jiffy Lube. She was the kind of girl who looked great in grease and could probably kick your butt.
Well even though she seemed normal from the outside, she was completely different inside. She was unfortunately suffering from depression. Yeah most of the time she seemed normal but inside, she just couldn’t understand why it was worth living. One day she had been having a really bad week. It was a certain time of the month, she’d flunked two tests, and her parents were arguing almost constantly. Well the next day it had been going down hill since the get go. She’d had a terrible night’s sleep, overslept, stubbed her toe on the door , and to top it all off her boyfriend broke up with her. That made it unbearable.
She raced home not stopping or even slowing down for stop signs or red lights. It was a miracle she wasn’t killed, but she didn’t care. When she got there, her parents weren’t home. She went to the knife drawer in the kitchen, got the first knife she saw and cut both her wrists. She then went up to her room and laid on her bed, her back facing the door and cuddled up with her favorite teddy bear and prepared to die. She quickly passed out due to the loss of blood.
The next time she opened her eye’s she was in a hospital. Sally quickly heard the unmistakable sound of her parents arguing. She saw their shadows through a curtain. She called for her parents and they quickly came running in and Sally asked what had happened. Her parents explained that her mom had come into the house and saw the blood traced it into Sally’s room. She had quickly found out what had happened and rushed down stairs to call 911. Just as she reached the bottom of her stairs her father had come in and she explained every thing and her parents rushed her to the ER. Her parents explained that she had come very close to dying and that she had to have three pints of blood put into her.
They then asked why she had done it and she explained that she had been feeling depressed for close to a year and it had been gradually increasing the whole time. She explained that she had been having a really bad week and that day had pushed her over the edge. Well about now a doctor had come in and he explained that she was very lucky to be alive even though Sally completely disagreed with him. He told her the usual stuff. She had four stitches on her left arm and three on the right. He explained again that she had lost enough blood that she had been given some.
He then, suddenly got very serious and explained that when she got better she would not be going home; she would be going to a crisis stabilization center or in simpler terms a mental hospital. Sally got very scared and very nervous. The doctor told her that was going to be ok. Sally screamed out that it wasn’t him that was going to be locked up in a “nut house.” Her parents quickly told her to clam down but she wouldn’t do it. After a while she did eventually calm down but unfortunately she had sunk into her deepest depression yet.
One of the nurses came in to check on her and Sally noticed that there was a pair of scissors in the nurses pocket and without another thought, almost by reflex she grabbed the pair of scissors and cut the stitches on both arms all before the nurse even knew what had happened. The nurse quickly grabbed the scissors and threw them on the floor. She frantically called the others nurses while holding onto sally’s arms.
The next day there was an emergency meeting to determine what to do. One doctor raised the issue that she was obviously a threat to herself and that extreme precautions needed to be taken. The rest of the group also agreed. By the end of the meeting several possibilities had been discussed but only one idea had been completely agreed on. Sally was to be moved to the secured psychiatric ward where she was to monitored constantly and no sharp or other harmful objects were to be within her room.
While this was going on, a therapist was meeting with sally but she refused to cooperate and constantly pleaded to let her die. It was obvious to everyone that she was going through the roughest time of her life. Well the next day Sally was moved to the secured psychiatric ward. By now medicine that calms you down had been approved. Sally was on a high enough dosage she stayed asleep most of the time and, when she was awake, she was quiet and calm but still very depressed.
A few weeks went by and the cuts on Sally’s arm had mostly healed. Sally still refused to cooperate with the therapist. The day that she was to be moved to the mental hospital had finally come. Sally was very nervous and expected the worse but luckily that was not what she got. The hospital had four locked wards, different ones for different ages. Sally had her own room, and the other patients knew what she was going through. Although a lot of the patients were there because of suicidal feelings, there were some that were there because of behavioral problems. Pretty much every day there was a point where one of the patients would curse the staff out. Every couple of days though, it would go to the extremes and the patient would be restrained. Now with Sally not being a behavioral problem, this made her fairly sad that other people’s lives were so messed up that this is how they behaved. Luckily, Sally quickly got close to another patient named Aliesha who had been there for a while.
Aliesha was one to hide her meds and sell them to other patients. Usually Aliesha got something for the medications but she felt sorry for Sally and gave them to her for free basically in hopes that she wouldn’t see Sally being taken out of the hospital in a body bag. The pills helped for a while but soon after taking them she was as depressed as ever. Aliesha may have been a bad influence about some things, but she knew that Sally wouldn’t get better if she just clammed up.
Sally’s depression had been getting worse the whole time. Sally was now desperate to die. A day didn’t go by without her trying to kill herself, she had long since opened up the cuts on her am again and she now had to be watched constantly but she didn’t care, she just wanted to die. A few days after she got in there they had put her on the strongest anti depressant that was allowed and about three weeks and dozens of suicide attempts later things started getting better. Sally began to talk to her counselor. It wasn’t much at first but it began to gain progress. See, Sally had always been a very considerate person. Most of the time, she put someone else’s wants and needs in front of hers. She started to suspect that was the reason for her being depressed.
She gave everyone so much freedom that when she wanted some of it back; they fought her for it. Now, Aliesha was the kind of person that basically was the opposite. She was gonna do whatever she wanted and if you didn’t like it then you could go to hell. Sally had begun to look up to Aliesha and admired the control that she seemed to have over people so she began having that same feeling. She began to act out what she was really feeling. When someone pissed her off, she made it obvious. With the help of her counselor, she learned to have the best of both worlds and with the antidepressant working fairly well (after some minor changes), she actually began to smile.
After being in there for a month or so, the staff and patients began to see a big change. She would smile, laugh, and joke with the other kids. She began to eat right again and she started to socialize and make friends. The staff soon realized that she was one who could be trusted and that underneath that shy, depressed, follower. She was actually and outstanding leader. Best of all, Sally began to see the beauty in life. How the sky looks in the evening with the sun setting behind the mountains. How peaceful it seemed when you could hear the rain hitting the window. How things that most people would take for granted, seemed magnificent to her because for a very long time, all she had seen was darkness.
After about a month and a half, she was up for evaluation to see if she was a threat to herself or others in a way that would make it dangerous for her to be on the streets. Now the meeting was basically like an informal court hearing. There was a long table with many people discussing her progress. There were of course Sally’s parents, a social worker, Sally’s counselor, and a few other of the staff members that had worked with Sally. There was not a main person who decided her fate even though there were a group of people who did make the final decision.
The meeting started off with everyone introducing them to make it clear who they were and what relation they had with Sally. After that, the main talker of the group began to choose people from the table to give their opinion about Sally. All the people who actually had anything personal to do with Sally said that she had made tremendous progress and that letting her go home would help if anything because the simple and basic fact was that she was in a mental hospital and that was beginning to take effect on Sally.
As for the people who didn’t know her personally, they did not want her to get out on the streets. It seemed that way, but after the over powering influence of everyone there, they had no morally sane choice but to let her go free. Now this is not to say that everything was all fine and dandy. Deep inside, Sally still wished she was dead but at the same time, she didn’t want to kill herself. She still did have minor relapses when things went really bad and she did not really feel that she was “normal” but she did feel that she was well enough that she would be safe outside of the hospital.
After a short talk, the main group of people decided that she was ready to leave but she was not stable enough to go without intense counseling. But if she would agree to being counseled and to continue taking her medicine, then she would be allowed to leave the next day, Sally gladly accepted their proposal and began to pack.
That night the staff didn’t really push for the patients to do anything as long as they were respectable. Basically, they had a small party and stayed up a little late to celebrate her success. They all knew that she had gone above and beyond all of their expectations. Sally exchanged addresses with the rest of the patients, but she knew that she’d probably never speak to any of them again.
Tomorrow came and she was extremely thrilled. In a matter of only a couple of months, she had gone from laying down preparing to die, to laughing or at least smiling at even the small miracles inside the hospital. She loaded her stuff into her parent’s car and rode home. She had to go over a small mountain to get home. It was fall, and the trees were beginning to change color and for the first time in the longest time, she saw the true beauty that the tree’s truly hold. In a way, it was almost funny.

To this day, Sally is still looking for Aliesha and dedicates this story to her help through the good and the bad.

[silentsoul]

The Most Challenging Time of My Life.

By: Gary Wyant


“You know, sometimes I think I’d be better off dead.” I guess that’s the sentence that started all this. That’s the sentence that should have set off alarms in my head. That’s the sentence that should have told me that this wasn’t normal. That sentence should have been many things, but in the end, it was nothing more than a sentence.
Danielle always seemed a little different from most people. Her mind always seemed to be off some place other than in her body. Our friends and I would be talking and then say something that related to her and when we would look at her for her response, all we would find is her staring slightly upward with a glassy look in her eye’s. She always snapped out of it though, but she always seemed like she was halfway between this world and a world of her own.
Danielle and I met when we were fairly young, around 6th grade. Even then she seemed slightly distanced from the rest of us but we were all changing about that time and I simply dismissed it. When the rest of our friends would go to the park and play, she would just sit on the swings. She would rock slightly back and forth staring just above the point where the sky and the tallest point of the horizon met. She could find that spot so easily. I, on the other hand could never seem to find that spot.
She was picked on by a lot of people during the middle school years. Everyone was very self-consciences as well as very eager to exploit any difference one person may have from another. This made her seem to drift off even more often. Her teachers thought she was one of the student who didn’t care about their education because of this. This was only half true. She was concerned, but like all other things she cared about, she eventually lost interest.
I didn’t stand idly by and let all this happen. I always stood by her side and in a way tried to get people to pick on me just so they would leave her alone. Everyone soon learned that if they messed with her, they messed with me. This seemed to help ease the picking, unfortunately, it didn’t seem to have any effect on her mood. I asked her several times if she was all right and every time she denied everything. Every time but once that is.
Since we didn’t live too far away from school, we usually stayed late to watch the sunset during the winter months. The sunsets always seemed to brighten her spirits, and that was worth more than any amount of times that we could have ridden the bus instead of walked in the rain. We followed the same routine that day, walked to school together talking slightly but mostly thinking, meeting each other for lunch in the cafeteria, sitting next to each other during our last class of the day, then meeting on the porch of and old building used mainly for storage now. That however, is where the similarities end.
Usually, when I met her on the porch, she had that same glazed look in her eye but somehow she just seemed to radiate complete contempt. She once admitted that when she saw the first of the sun start to disappear behind the horizon, she always felt an urge to run so that she could try to seize that moment in time forever. I found that suited her very well; wanting to hold on to the brightest moment of the day even though she knew she never could.
That day however, I found her crying hysterically. I had often seen a tear or two run down her cheek but never had I seen her crying like this. I immediately dropped all my books and ran toward her. I frantically asked her what was wrong trying to find out what had happen. She obviously had not heard me coming for when I reached her she immediately tried to cover her crying with lies about how a bug had gotten in her eye. I was still in a great deal of panic and practically yelled at her, saying that I would have no more lies of bugs or allergies and that I wanted to know what was wrong. That is when she said that single sentence. That single sentence that would forever change both our lives.
I held her in my arms that night. I simply didn’t understand her and simply hoped the sunset would calm her. I sometimes think that you could have put the sun out with all the tears that fell that night. I sat there holding her, not daring to even utter a word hoping that at least some of her pain would flow out with her tears. I was to find that those hopes were futile. The next time and last time I saw her was at her funeral. I stood there silent as I could, wishing that I could have understood her. I wanted to run to her coffin and beg her for forgiveness but instead I whispered my final goodbyes.
After the funeral I wandered around town simply remembering Danielle. I wished silently that I could be with her one final time. At that very moment, I looked up and found the spot that had been invisible to me until now. I knew at that exact moment that no matter what happened, I would always be able to be with her.

[silentsoul]

This story is when I was going through a bit of a redneck romantic stage in my life and I was basically fantasizing about what I wish my life would be like when I'm "all grown up" bassically.

I awoke as I always did to the sight of a rising sun. My wife has already awoken and is freshening up in the bathroom. I go and kiss her on the neck and say good morning and she nods knowing that if she were to try to reply with words, toothpaste would come out of her mouth. It’s now seven in the morning and time for Billy to get up. Both Tanya and I know that it’ll be a busy morning and won’t be able to kiss passionately again before the kids leave so we give each other a deep romantic kiss.
While Tanya is cooking breakfast, I go wake up Billy by tickling his feet. He is now old enough to complain and almost fuss but I just smile and tap him on the head and tell him to get up. Baby Chloe has now heard the commotion and is standing in her crib waiting for me with a smile. I pick her up and make baby noises while taking her Tanya. She hears the distinct sound of Chloe’s giggle and turns around to hold her baby. Seeing them together makes me so happy. I fall into a trance marveling how I could have gotten such a beautiful family. Billy’s asking me if I knew where his shoes were took me out of it and got me into my daily routine.
I knew I had a lot to do today seeing as how I had to clean the stable. I put on my wranglers that fit snugly against my skin and my shirt that had stains of mud and grass on the elbows but still respectable. I then put on my favorite boots. I’d bought them on Tanya and I’s first date and swore never to throw them away but she constantly insisted that I buy a new pair.
As I walked into the kitchen, I saw that Billy hadn’t gotten dressed yet and told him to hurry his tail up which he did so after teasing Chloe with a toy for a few minutes. While the kids weren’t looking, I snuck behind Tanya and kissed her on the back of her neck and tickled her sweet spot which was her belly button area. She playfully slapped me on the butt in return. About then breakfast was ready. I called Billy in to see if he was ready for school which he was so I asked him to help me set the table. It was a privilege for him to be able to set the plates because he was still small and clumsy but I had set most of them and he was happy to finish the job while I set out the knives, forks, and spoons. We shared the glasses and he looked at me for approval and I shuffle my hand in his short hair and said playfully “A good job son, pretty soon you’ll be the man of the house.” Billy smiled and ran off with pride in his heart and with a smile on his face to gather his books.
Tanya had set out the biscuits, ham, eggs, and orange juice by the time I’d told everyone that it was ready. I set the baby chair up and poured some baby food into a bowl and orange juice in her sipper cup while she walked/stumbled into the room with the help of Billy. We all sat down and pretty much dug in.
Breakfast was finished and Billy was just able to grab a baby wipe so he could wash up a little and get on the bus. Tanya and I stood holding each other watching with Chloe leaning on our legs as the bus went down the road as we often did, saying how great that little squirt was.
After that it was down to work for me and Tanya. I went out and started working on cleaning out the stalls letting the two stallions run free for a while in a small field, they knew not to go too far. About the time that I had finished cleaning out the stalls and tidying up the barn itself a bit, Tanya came out with a cup of water. We both needed a break so we went into the house and just held each other as we listened to some soft and slightly sensual music. After about a half hour, we decided to get back. I had noticed that she had cleaned the living room and I thanked her for that, my reward for noticing was a kiss.
“I’m gonna take the Chevy and go get some hay, we’re running a little low on that and some feed, shouldn’t cost much” I said while putting my gloves int the truck and I replied that it probably wouldn’t take that long and that I love her. As I was driving off she yelled playfully “and remember, you’re MINE so don’t be looking at any other girls.” I just smiled and waved out the window.
I went down to the local co-op to get my order and to socialize with some of the guys. I put in my order and said for them to take their time loading it that I wanted to talk to the guys a little bit which was fine with them. I said the usual greetings and asked the usual questions, just to find out what’s been going on lately. I found out that an ole friend of ours George, who was a pilot that always complained about the cost of renting spaces at airports and such was gonna build himself a small strip.
This struck a chord with me seeing as how I had the same problem but I didn’t worry much because I had sold my plane a few years back but sort of regretted it ever since. So I ask where he was and they said probably over at the bar just hanging out. “Your order’s finished being loaded” a new kid called from inside and I decided to head on over to get George. Luckily I had just caught him before he started drinking and asked him if he could take me up and give me his opinion on something. He agreed that if I paid for the fuel and helped with the pre-flight then he wouldn’t mind heading up. I called home and she mumbled something about how she was always alone but just be home in time to finish the stalls.
Well George and I took his plane up and circled over my land. Since I too, was an experienced pilot he just left the controls to me. We circled a few times trying to find a good spot for a small strip of my own. We decided on one and agreed that we’d help each other out if needed. After that, I happened to glance down and see Tanya standing in the back yard and me knowing there weren’t any power lines or trees or anything, I asked George if I could push the envelop a little and he said “Sure, I need something to wake me up seeing as how I ain’t drunk yet!” I just laughed and swooped down pretty low and tipped the wings for the wife, I circled around and she waved.
After that, I headed home and finished up with the stalls. Billy decided to go sing on the swing set about the time I got home which gave time for me and Tanya to talk. “Have you checked with Robert lately to see how the houses are doing” I asked? “Yeah he called last week and said that everything was fine and that he didn’t suspect there would be any problems until winter.” Tanya said heading into the kitchen “Randy, what are you thinking about? I know you, whenever you start asking how things are doing, you plan to do something” she said almost frustrated that I wouldn’t get to the point. “My God!” Tanya yelled as I had snuck behind her and wrapped my arms around her in hopes that she would calm down. Well all that needs to be done tomorrow really is feed the animals, right?” She only replied with a soft moan as I kissed her neck slowly. “Well how about we ride out to the lake and discuss my idea out there” I suggested kissing again and again slowly toward her bra strap. “Mmm, that sounds good.”
“It’s kinda late, what do you say we put Billy to bed, check on Chloe, and go to bed ourselves.” I suggested in a romantic voice. “Billy, honey, I think it’s time to go to bed, come on, hurry, hurry!” Tanya said as she almost shoved Billy under the covers. I could only Laugh.

“Wake up sleepy head!” I heard right before I felt Billy trying to tickle my feet and Tanya getting my armpits. “I SURRENDER! I SURRENDER!” I yelled trying to get them off me. Tanya had let me sleep in and Billy just wanted to say goodbye and that he loved me before he went to school. Pretty much everything had been done. Tanya was ready to go to the lake, I could tell.
“Okay sleepy head, Billy’s off to school and Chloe’s in her rocker, let’s take a shower together and get ready to go to the lake.” She said excitedly. “How about you go take a cold shower while I get some breakfast” I laughed. “Okay but you’re not getting away without this” Tanya said just before she grabbed me by the elastic in my jockeys and kissed me passionately and pushed me away. I tilted my head slightly and laughed but then jumped as I felt her grab my butt.
Knowing no one would see me. I walked downstairs in just my jockeys which felt good for a change. Also knowing that Tanya couldn’t see me, I decided to drink orange juice from the container instead of a glass, something that for some reason, men love and women hate. I looked around the kitchen and ate some of what was left and decided to get another gulp of orange juice before Tanya came down. “SHAME ON YOU!” Tanya screamed and I knew I was caught and I slowly raised my eye. I almost choked when I saw what she had on, or what she DIDN’T have on I should say. “I should be saying the same about you, standing in plain view of most of the house with only an open robe on.” I was able to say in a half-serious exclamation. “Party pooper” she pouted as she closed it after having her breast brush across my chest. “Now if you don’t behave, we won’t even make it to the lake” I said running upstairs not daring to turn around and show the effect she had just caused.
We finally did get cleaned up and fully clothed by about 10:00AM. “Whom do you think will watch Chloe while we’re out” I asked, straightening up the bed? “I set that up already, I told Melissa that we were going to the lake today. She immediately offered to watch Chloe. She loves her smile and apparently, I become a bore when my husband is all work and no play for too long” I replied with a smile.
Well it was around 11:30 by the time we got on our way to the lake. The lake itself was beautiful but the area of woods that you had to go through to get to was also beautiful. We tool our time, often stopping just to listen, or to point out a woodpecker. The ride was very romantic in itself, but when we reached the lake you could’ve sworn it was stolen from the Garden of Eden.
We dismounted the horses and stripped off our clothes down to just my jockeys and her panties. We cleared off our rock and started to unpack “Oh Randy” Tanya said disappointedly “why did you bring the rifle?” “There are creatures who might want to have this lake today as well, you know. It’s just in case.” Tanya moaned but wouldn’t let a thing like that get in the way of the fun they were going to have that day. Finally after everything was unpacked, we were able to talk (which seemed pointless by the way Tanya was acting but I went on nevertheless) “You see, the way that I see it, we don’t really need that area of land, I know we had decided that’s where we were going to teach Billy how to ride but we’ve got plenty of room for that some other place” I said while throwing a pebble into the edge of the water.
“What about the plane, we can afford to level some earth but can we really afford a plane” Tanya said with a questioning look, losing the desire for sec. “Well” I said “I thought about that and was looking through our accounts last night and I don’t know about you but I forgot about the $25,000 we put in a savings account for that week long trip to hike up to the Rocky’s. Remember, before Chloe was born?” “Oh yeah” she said with a surprised look “I did forget about that!”

“Well I figure it should have easily doubled since then” I said with a questioning of an acceptance look on my face. “Okay. . .now let’s get wet!” she said rushing into the water. I ran in after her and splashed around. For the next couple of hours we did a mix of splashes around in the water, skinny dip, and made love.
I checked my watch and saw that it was almost 3:45 and that Billy would get home alone. “We’d better hurry” I said excited. After packing up most of the stuff I realized that Tanya hadn’t done anything but squat down and start giggling and said with a loud questioning voice “What are you waiting for?” She replied trying to hold back from busting out laughing “I’m waiting for you to put some clothes on or do we still have some business to do here?” Her laughing grin was a devilish one by the time I had went after her for a final time.
After our final lovemaking session, I said, still slightly out of breath “Can we do the cuddling at home, our kid is gonna arrive with no one to watch him in like two minutes!” “Sure” she said in the same condition but still with a devilish grin on her face but a different one from before.
Our stallions proved themselves with the speed that they made it home. It also was majestic. I could see myself as a young man racing home on his stallion with his lover by his side. The trees flew by, you tried to capture the moment but you knew that at these speeds full attention must be on guiding the horses or else they and/or you might get hurt. By my watch, we made it home in fifteen minutes, a couple minutes faster than ever before but it still put us at getting there about quarter-after-four. I ran in the house frantically calling Billy’s name. When Tanya came in laughing, I asked why she was doing so and she said with the fresh love for me in her voice “He’s not home yet, don’t worry, I knew the stallion I married would come back and loose track of time so I set your watch back.” I started at her again and she said “Whoa! Slow down, I only set it back by a half hour, we only got about twenty five minutes to get cleaned up cause we’re a mess.” She said with a strong tone to her voice. I looked down and agreed that we were a mess so I ran upstairs to take a shower. “You Know, the only way both of us is gonna get clean in time is to take a shower . . .” “T o g e t h e r” I slowly said interrupting her. She laughed at the size of my smile on my face when I said it. She slapped my butt and told me to get out of the way or start moving. I thought to myself “No wonder we got two kids.” I laughed and ran up the stairs to take a shower.

[silentsoul]

well there they are. Tell me your honest opinion. Thanks

[LixyChick]

They are great ss! I especially liked the last one...I feel like I know those people! Good job hun!

[silentsoul]

thanks, would anyone else like to reply on one or all

[dicksbro]

They are terrific, silentsoul. I enjoyed them all but, like Lixy, I especially enjoyed the last one. Thanks for sharing them. Hope we'll have a chance to read more one of these days!

[moonbabe]

you are talented silentsoul. if i could write that............. :)