Divorce

[Gilly]

My husband and I have two friends who got married. She is my best friend, he is hubby's best friend. They've been together since highschool, around 11 years now. They went to school together, college together, shared interests... they are both fairly easy going people, and accomadate each other.

Last weekend, they flew to Vegas for an Everquest convention, and my friend told him down there that she needed space, and wanted him to move out.

-sighs- He stayed, and fought for the marriage.

Today, she told him she doesn't love him anymore, and wants a divorce.

We've talked to him about 5 times in the past 2 hours, and to her twice. He ended one conversation sobing, driving, and saying, Make sure she knows I love her. :( Thankfully, he called back later.

She's more worried about him, he's more worried about her. It's just... so unexpected, I suppose. I was crying right along side her on the phone, and kept asking if she was all right, then she started asking me the same. This whole week has been a roller coaster of emotions from this.

I know, people grow apart, people fall out of love. But... I still feel torn apart about this.

[huntersgirl]

((((((hugs)))))) Sorry hun, It sounds like a difficult time for you and your friends. I wish you all, the best, and the romantic side of me hopes they can work things out.

[LixyChick]

((((((Gilly))))))

It gets tougher before it gets better. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's sad and true. Hang in there hun. You're a good friend to both and this is gonna be a tough ride for all involved! Do what you can to be there for both parties, and try and keep in mind that "he said/she said" shouldn't come between you and your hubby! As time goes on it will be like climbing a steep hill. But when you all get to the pinacle and look back...you'll be able to sigh a sigh of relief that you all made it to the top and now comes the easy part.

Hang in there hun...and vent here or PM me if/whenever you need a shoulder!

[BigBear57]

Gilly Darlin' my heart goes out to you. I'd say the most important thing is just to be there for them. Don't place blame or choose sides. Sometimes nobody is to blame shit just happens. I know it isn't a lot but my prayers and thoughts are with you. Been there myself a few times. Hugs.

[Gilly]

What the hardest part is, is that I am at a loss as to what to even tell them. I know it'll get better eventually, but how do you tell them that right now? Talking to them both had both of us in tears, and wanting to just snuggle together in reassurance of our own relationship.

It's just really hard hearing them both so heartbroken right now.

[GingerV]

You're absolutely right, it'll get better eventually....but you can't possibly tell them that. They're not ready to hear it. But it's not about what you have to say....it's about being there to listen, give hugs...and help them remember how to laugh when they're ready.

Relationships are gonna change all around, if my life's anything to go by. You won't know how the chips are gonna fall until the end. And at some point you're going to have to remind yourself that as much as it hurts, this isn't about you or your hubby....that you can't fix it, can't control it, and shouldn't get drawn into blaming anyone for it. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault.

(((Gilly))), I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hang in there.

[Gilly]

I went shopping today, and picked up a cute easter basket, and filled it with bath fizz balls, face masks, chocolate, shimmering lotion, candles, and a giant fluffy white bunny to snuggle. And lots more chocolate. Chocolate is good. -nodnod- She needs a chocolate and ice cream day, that's for certain.

-sighs- I hope this will help her, at least for a few hours.

[mayhem1978]

i may be new here but i am going through a divorce at the moment and it is getting messy. Belive me that the best thing you can do for them is to just be an ear for them to bend when they need it.

And be a friend. The worst thing that you can do is offer advice because if you say to do sommat and it dont work it will come back and hit you in the ass.

Just be there for both of them Dont offer any advice regarding the situation but listen to them both. You will find that the problems that they come to you with they already know the answers to and just want to vocalise it.

Its gonna be hard for them and you but probiding you never leave them they will both thank you in the end for it.

Mayhem