A little advice,

[smithy020]

hey, this problem is'nt about me, but a friend.

Recently a good friend of mine has started seeing a 25 year male, while she is only 16. Now i find this a little worrying since this guy has in the past had a sexual relationship with a minor(15yo) and i'm very worried about my friend, I have a horrible feeling that she will get hurt by this scum bag, as he will either once again find a younger model just use her for sex and leave her when he bets bored, any idea's on wot i should do????

and Yees i know it's really none of my business who she see's but,

[Gilly]

Tell her parents. It's statatory rape if he does anything, with or without her consent.

[erotic51]

Totally agree with Gilly, If he is genuine about a relationship with her, then he will have the maturity to wait and openly court her with parental consent.

[Loulabelle]

Originally posted by Gilly
Tell her parents. It's statatory rape if he does anything, with or without her consent.

Gilly, no it isn't. The age of consent in Britain is 16.

Smithy020 - I have some friends who were in a similar situation about 2 years ago. When they first got together he was 30 and she was an 18 year old virgin.

All their friends could see that this was going to end in heart ache for the 18 year old eventually, and although many people tried to warn her, it made no difference.

Two years on they have just split up (he instigated it and she's, of course, heart broken). The thing is that broken hearts do mend, and some people just have to learn the hard way.

If you've made your concerns known to her, so that she's aware of this guy's reputation, then that's the best you can do. Be prepared to support her emotionally should it all go wrong, but at the same time hope that you are proved wrong.

[Steph]

I agree completely with Lou.

If people gang up against him (the way she might perceive it), she might become defensive and stay with him.

[GingerV]

I had a friend in college who was in a totally toxic relationship (not an age difference, but I daresay I was just as worried about her). I finally came clean and told her that I thought she was making a horrendous mistake. She and I fell out over it...had a hard time maintaining the friendship over the next several years. But when they did finally break up (the guy was a class A asshole), she said that she appreciated my being honest with her...even if she didn't like what I'd been honest about.

What am I trying to say? If this is your friend...and you care about her....and you think this could really truly be a big time mistake....you're gonna have to go with your heart. If you get nowhere talking to her, and you think the threat is serious enough to go to her parents...do that. But realize that it might not have the result you want. The Romeo and Juliet syndrome is a very real thing, particularly at her age. And it may alienate you from her. In my case, I was worried that she was going to be physically as well as emotionally hurt....it was worth jeopardizing our friendship. Still, I wish I'd found a better way.

Sorry I can't give you more simple advice....hope you find a way through the morass.

[nikki1979]

well all i can say on this is when iwas 16 i not only dated a 25 y/o but a 32 y/o and everything in between. ya there were mostly jerks wanting sex but hey thats what i was wanting as well. if my friends wud say anything id get pissy w them and tell them to mind thier own. ya it was not the healthyest thing i cud have done. but i was extremly stubborn and full of shit to listen to any one but myself. surprising none of the older guys hurt me cuz i was aware of what it was about i got hurt the worst by guys close to my own age who i thought i cud have something lasting and luving w. they were the ones who led me on and that i had my eyes closed the most about. i spose my point is, shes female she knows that there are alot of assholes (no offense ment and im not generalizing) out there. it doesnt matter the age of the guy she is seeing she will get hurt no matter what several times before she finally finds "the one" . i know i sound harsh but its all i can think to say. u may talk to her about it but if/when u do please phrase it like "hun u know im here for u and u know im ur friend i just want to get off my cheast im worried about u n this guy , but i am here for u no matter what u choose to do." let her know ur not against her decision just being a freind make sure u dont sound pissy about it or there will be friction. at least if she is anything like i was.

~nikki

[FussyPucker]

errr.......What Lou said :)

[Lilith]

Fussy~ you learn quick~always the right answer;)

[cbass1976]

what a sicko she is way too young

[Loulabelle]

I don't think it's fair to say he's a sicko just because he's seeing a 16 year old.

In this country it's legal for a 16 year old to have sex, get married, have children, smoke etc.... we consider a 16 year old to be an adult.

I know plenty of 25 year old males who are no where near as mature as a 16 year old girl.

[smithy020]

that very true Lou,

But its fair to say that his past relationship with the minor makes it fair to say he's a sicko,

Well i think ive lost the friendship because i told her how i felt about it,

oh well I hope not, But life must go on!!

[BamaKyttn]

Okay, once again I open my mouth. when I was 15 I was dating a 27 year old man. it was my idea, and he REFUSED to have sex with me until I was 17. refused. you know, one shouldn't paint with such a broad brush, we're all sickos for participating in a sex-oriented chat forum but most of us don't think twice about logging on, do we? I loved him and he loved me, unfortunately I grew beyond the trophy he wanted...... I got a smart mouth and a bigger waist, tho somehow he still pops a boner when he sees me...... >fond wishes, he's been shipped off to Iraq..... dunno why tho...<