3some or 4some

[sheyme]

HI eveyone I could do with a bit of help here. My partner and I have been thinking about a 4some it turns us both on just think about it. Found add in the local swingers web page got in contact with the other couple turns out they or not married but are seeing each other. We got chatting and said we would take thing very slow to see what would happen. The other male is alway txt my partner this is turning her on big style,so I said would she like a 3some she said that would be great. The problem is I think this other man is just in it for a fuck. I will take any advice I can get form all the people in the forum. I want to make my partner fantasys come true but I don't want her to be someones fuck.

[pinkbutton]

Hiya and welcome to pixies sheyme. Me and my husband had a threesome which was absolutely great but it involved someone who we both knew very well. I. e my best mate who is male. If your are going to go ahead with this i would suggest u should at least think about doing it with someone you both know and trsut or else like u say it could be just that the guy is just using your wife for a fuck.

[FussyPucker]

am I missing the point of swinging here; isn't it just supposed to be about sex without any kind of emotional attachment?? i.e. it is just for a fuck!!

The first thing you need to do is make sure everyone is aware of the boundaries of the experience........who gets to do what with who etc. You also need to discuss the whole thing properly and make it known that at any point if ANY of you aren't comfortable with what's happening that it can be brought to a hault. You should talk to your partner and find out if it's the thought of the 3some that's turning her on or if it's the thought of just this guy that's turning her on in which case there might be a more serious issue to deal with!!

Group sex activities are all well and good but if emotional attachments start to form people might start to expect different things from the "relationship" and that can only spell trouble for everyone concerned!!!

If you do decide to go ahead it has to be something you ALL agree on and it goes without saying CONDOMS!!

OK I'm gonna stop now :)

[nikki1979]

all of my group things were just about the sex . i refuse to have sex when attachments can be made if im already in a relationship. makes things get complicated. i wud want it to be w an aaquantince that we know well enough to be discreete but noit well enough to become attached.

~nikki

[Xpose]

I agree with Fussy and Nikki. It seems that you want her to fuck a guy, but you don't want her to get involved with this guy. I can understand that.

You need someone neither of you know, someone you can quickly disassociate yourselves from. Not easy.

[sheyme]

Hey everyone thanks for the advice as it turns out the guy started to get a bit pushie about the hole thing and my partner and i pulled out of the hole thing.This week has made a big change in are relationship it has made us stronger. Many thanks again you are all good people here I know where to get good advice.