All messed up

[PashkinThePanther]

Come on all you extremely sensible Pixies, please help me get my head sorted. Its all completely mixed up! (Jennaflower and nikki1979, you heard all this before)

I'm a bit fragile tonight as a good friend, who i thought a lot of, and had some great times with, has found someone really special, and it means I shan't see her, in the flesh anymore. When she rang last night to chat, as we have done for a long while, she was in happy tears, but I cracked. I had to face her and admit how I felt. It hit her and I got the "why didn't u tell me before?" and all the rest of it... and we both ended up in tears. Its the chance she'd been looking for, for happiness etc, and if I've messed up her life, then I shan't forgive myself.

Plus I''ve been chatting by text message to the other woman I like, and I think i'm getting the drift it isn't me she's wanting, its another of my mates. As I'm the president of the local Astronomy society and shes the secretary, I'm not sure if I could still carry on, plus he goes to the astronomy society too, if its who I think it is. She asked for his email address and wouldnt say why, I just got "None of your Business!" I call her tonight on some other society matter and ask her direct, she still won't tell me. I suspect I've missed out...

Looks like the two for whom I held a candle, the flame has gone out, and it's hit hard. I'm not the emotional type but last night I was and the last 24 hours have been murder for me.

Advice please...

[Loulabelle]

OK sweetie, lets see if I can help.

It's a real shame about your first friend - sounds to me like there could have been romance there, but you didn't make it clear how you felt about her soon enough.

Now with this other woman at the astronomy society, sounds to me like either she likes your friend or she likes you. I don't want to build up false hope, but what I know of most women is that if they fancy your friend, they'd tell you, to try to find out if your friend feels the same. Has it occurred to you that she's asked for your friends e-mail address and won't tell you why, because she wants to find out from him if you're interested? It's a possibility, surely?

The thing is, you'll never know unless you're more open with her about your feelings. Ask her on some kind of date and see if she says yes. That's the only way you're going to know, and I suggest you learn by the mistake you made with the first woman, and don't procrastinate. Otherwise, you may end up missing out again.

Hope this helps - PM me if you want to chat.

[jennaflower]

since I have already dispensed all my advice to you earlier :) all I can offer is (((Hugs)))

[kitkate]

wow...hugs to you animal not! :( I wish I could say this didn't hit close to home but I'm going through a similar sitch. Hang on sweetie. Wish I had advice...but like Jenna, I'm here for ((((hugs))))!

[curvyredhead]

*Big HUG* I don't think that there is better advice than what Loulabelle gave you. Be honest with women in your life, because (1) they will likelyrespect you for it and (2) then you have your cards on the table and she can make a decision based on the facts. I know that it can be difficult opening yourself up like that, but the rewards can be very good!

Keep your head up... there is someone out there that is perfect for you!

[GingerV]

Animal hon, I'm not one of the sensible pixies...and I think Lou gave you great advice. But I'll take a shot, just to let you know that yet another person is sending warm thoughts.

First, I don't think I can even count all the romantic near-misses I've had in my 32 years. You can't help it, there will be people you almost hooked up with. A friend of mine calls it the "right guy, wrong time" phenomenon. It seriously sucks that you hit two of them in the same 24 hours. I know it hurts and I can't take that away. But if you keep putting yourself out there, meeting people, telling them how you feel, taking chances....eventually you aren't gonna miss, and it's gonna be wonderful.

Maybe not today, though. So lets get you through today. You're hurting, so you need to be taken care of. Find friends who'll do it (and there seem to be loads here if you don't want to leave the house or use the phone). Do whatever used to make you feel better....just the act of taking care of yourself, no matter what your doing, will help a little bit.

I know, it's not much to offer. But I hope it helps a bit, and that you're feeling better soon.

G

[PashkinThePanther]

Would like to thank you all for all the kind words of advice, I'm just about back on a a roughy even keel now. You've been wonderful!!

The countdown is now ticking for the debut of the Animal in the Photos of men forum.... 60 hours (or so) and counting....!

[LixyChick]

Got here late and so I am glad to know you are feeling better now Animal hun!

Looking forward to those pics too! Weeeeee!

[PashkinThePanther]

Well they been taken but as no USB port on this PC (old and ancient model!) they will be downloaded to CD on monday and after a preview by a small preview committee, and they know who they are, they'll be posted probably late Monday!

[nikki1979]

hun u got my opinon but ills till let u know (((HUGS)) my sholder is always here

~nikki