Bend it Like Bekham?

[osuche]

OK...all you Pixies out there...

Seen the movie? Even if you haven't...

Ever been in a relationship with someone from another culture? How did it work out? Did the person's family know, and did the two cultures collide?

And...what advice would you give to someone else in a multi-cultural relationship (different race, religion, language, etc)?

I want to hear it ALL...the good, the bad, and the ugly. :D

[Lilith]

I spent most of my teens in a relationship with someone from a culture/ethnicity different from my own. It was very much discouraged (by little things like crossburnings and death threats...oh and the daily procedure of spitting on/at me as I entered the school building) by the community where I grew up and for a number of years our relationship was secret. Some of my family were respectful and some were less than kind. It made for a difficult existence, for both of us. His mother was none too fond of his risking his life for me yet his gramma adored me. Puppy love became possession and the relationship became too toxic to be worth the fight. We were together about 4 years.

I don't really have any advice that would be different than I would give any couple regardless of cultures.

btw...here we have a different definition of a mixed marriage....a Seminole married to a Gator:p

[osuche]

Thought I should contribute a bit myself.

Some of you may know...I've been dating an Indian (from India) for about 10 years. Occasionally cultures collide -- my grandparents are not exactly fond of him -- but often it is a wonderful experience.

I've enjoyed learning about his culture -- classical dance, language, cooking, religion -- and I celebrate the differences. My family has not always been so enlightened. One grandmother thinks he's black and won't talk to him...and the other sent me stories about Indian and Middle Eastern men who kidnapped thier families, burnt their wives, etc. until the day she died :(

The advice I would give? Don't bury the differences...talk about them. Learn from one another, and don't judge. Oh...and give the elder generations time to get used to your relationship.

Still...I always enjoy understanding others' perspectives. Tell me about your experiences ! (hence, the motivation for the thread)

[rabbit]

Originally posted by Lilith
btw...here we have a different definition of a mixed marriage....a Seminole married to a Gator:p

You got that right!

...though I will say that I'd sleep with a certain gator I know any day... ;)



rabbit

[osuche]

Lil...sorry to hear you met with such resistance! I imagine that it would be tough to carry on a healthy relationship int his environment. SOunds like you went through a lot!

(((Lil)))

As for the Seminole/Gator mixture ~~ you truly are an open-minded woman to embrace the enemy :D

[Lilith]

<~~~~~ adores rabbit despite his obvious fault:D

[OzKristin]

I am a mix of cultures (mostly italian and polish upbringing) and my boyfriend is first generation born in the U.S. He and his family are Armenian. I would have never really been exposed to this culture, and never was until I met him..the language is very interesting as I haven't ever heard anything like that (myself knowing some polish, italian, french and spanish) it is great to be immersed into this culture, by talking with his mom and grandfather and just learning about it all.
Thankfully, my parents aren't "old fashioned" they are up for anything I'm into now that I live on my own (I moved out of my home to live with him). I thankfully, haven't ever had any problems with our cultures "clashing" or the like...and as I am a very cultured person myself, I'm happy to add an addition to my "library" of cultures I have learned about (and will continue to do so as well)

[Grumble]

Well I am expecting to enter into a mixed marriage of sorts.

Girl originally from San Deago(sp?) with a Tasmanian guy. same language sort of, some quite different things culturally. Found one enormous fault already she LIKES Brussells Sprouts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechhhh

[BlueSwede]

Bend it Like Beckham is one of my favorite films; I have it on DVD and have watched it many times.

From ages 19 to 43, my ex-husband and I were together--married for 22 of those years. We are now divorced, but it had nothing to do w/our racial difference. He is American Black and I am American white. We met in college, had a lot in common, had few cultural differences, and produced two beautiful children from the marriage.

His mother, in particular, was against the union at first, but his father said she at least had to meet me before passing judgment. I became her favorite daughter-in-law, and I loved her dearly. Both our children and I are still considered part of the family. In fact, I am presently living with my ex's youngest sister, who also is my best friend.

My parents were against the union to the point that my father tried to shoot us when we announced we were getting married, and I was not allowed to see them, any of my relatives, or any of my siblings for 14 years. They have since come around and treat my children the same as they treat their other grandchildren. Such unions can be a growth experience for more than just the couple themselves.