Girlfriend can't climax

[Tamer Brad]

Hey,

Um...I'm not really used to coming here, but I figured that this would be the best place to ask a question like this.

My girlfriend and I have recently been getting intimate, but there's a problem; she can't reach orgasm. She says I'm doing a great job, but she just lingers on the edge of it for sometime until she decides that it's enough.

This is really worrying for me; I hate for her to have to continue going on like this. Does anyone have any ideas on the problem, or the solution?

[Tess]

A lot depends on whether you are doing oral or cotial sex. If she can't come from coitus, try oral. I find that most ladies can cum big time when oral is done correctly. :)

If you are already doing oral, try inserting either your fingers or a vibe.

[Tamer Brad]

Honestly, I think the big part is relaxation; she's never had a sexual partner before. I'm also not exactly a veteran myself (only one partner in the past). I never had these kind of problems with my old girlfriend, so I'm willing to bet it's something mental with my current one.

[Tamer Brad]

Oh! Also, we haven't had sex yet ^^; only manual and oral.

[GingerV]

From what you've said, Brad, I'm willing to bet that you're right. You guys aren't doing anything wrong if she can get to the edge. She'll get there when she's ready. So long as you're both enjoying the buildup, don't worry about reaching the climax. The more worried you both get about orgasm, the less likely she'll have one.

Have fun.

[osuche]

I agree with GingerV. Don't get fixated on making her cum ~ it will only make it tougher for her. Just have fun and go with the flow. It'll happen when her body and mind are both ready.

Oh, and welcome to Pixies!

[Tamer Brad]

Thank you very much for your advice! We are really grateful ^^

[Casperr]

Tamer Brad, you suffer from a major problem that most men have: focussing on the RESULT not the PROCESS.

With sex, more than anything else in the world, it's all about the journey not the final destination!


You guys just need one nice looooong marathon session where you both just let yourselves go!
Safe sex, of course, tho.

CasperTG

[Tamer Brad]

What? I'm not focusing on the result at all ==; I love giving her pleasure this way and she loves recieving it...I was just looking for answers ;D

[BlueSwede]

Does she come when she masturbates? Hopefully she does masturbate, because the more her body gets adjusted to coming when she pleasures herself, the more she is likely to eventually come when you are helping her. Plus, once she knows exactly what she needs to come (what spots feel the best, how fast or how slow, etc.), the easier it will be to tell you.

[Tamer Brad]

I'm fairly certain she does. I believe it's just a sort of anxiety thing.

[Liam_Parry]

Mate, I had EXACTLY your problems with my gf for about 3 years. Persist, it'll come eventually.

Work on other aspects of your relationship too.

And don't put pressure on her to come. Tell her that you're doing this for fun, not for a goal. Get her to enjoy what you're doing and not focus on trying to orgasm.